Having to much responsibility

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6/5/12 11:18 P

I'm 24 and I understand. You have to do it for yourself and start by planning your meals and exercise. The weight should come off slow in order to keep it off. You can't get discouraged because you are not going to lose every week especially when you are gaining muscle. I have been eating healthier and exercising for 3 months and have lost 15lbs that's about average. Keep logging everything on spark and using the resources. Try to do something small each week. For example I started exercising 3 days a week and didn't start eating healthier until week 3. Now I exercise 5 days at the gym and at least do something small the other 2 and I eat healthy all the time. You will feel so much better once you start!

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6/5/12 7:56 P

You can't change your family..........you can only change you and how you feel about food. Food doesn't have to be your enemy. I found a love for good food.......like fruits and veggies. Don't sweat the small stuff. Just put on foot in front of the other......be kind to your self as you are so worth it. Use all that sparks has to offer. This is an amazing tool that you can use. You can do this...........

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6/5/12 7:37 P

Just a couple of thoughts. It's great you're young. I know it is discouraging when you do the right thing and still don't drop the weight. However, set small short term goals and stay with the better eating and exercise. You WILL drop the weight.

Next there's something called the Wellness Wheel (Google for many variations). It sounds like you might benefit from friends your own age, fun, a job, a study group etc. Just better balance.

When you study, set goals of studying for 40 minutes and then take a break. There's brain research that says our focus drops after 40 minutes. Plan on 2-3 40 minute studying/working on school per day.

Then have FUN!!!!

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6/5/12 5:20 P

@HAJ - don't waste time worrying about things that are out of your control. It won't change the problem and it will add stress to your life.

focus on the things you CAN do. One choice, one snack, one activity, one meal, one day at a time.

Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

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6/5/12 5:09 P

I hope that by taking the small steps that you will be able to be an example to others.
Perhaps it will encourage them to "get on board" too

Posts: 601
6/3/12 3:55 P

Haj, I've long been in a similar situation to you, although I am much older. While it sounds harsh, sometimes you have to step up and know that you have to make it on your own. I had to learn the hard way that people don't care what I'm trying to do to make my life better. My family constantly belittles me because I haven't finished my BS degree yet, but I took time off school to care for both grandmothers, my godson, my severely multiply impaired sister, the list goes on. I HAVE completed a CDA, an advanced certificate, and an Associate's Degree in Child Development and Care. Now I'm about 1.5 semesters away from finishing my BS online. It is possible to do even when it's hard.
Take things as a they come while making a plan for how you're going to deal with things. If your parents are willing to begin cooking healthier, take them up on it. Find as many ways as you can to make things easier for yourself, like the ideas of using a crock pot or cooking several meals on a lazy day that will last the week that Wendy mentioned.
If you're responsible for cleaning or laundry, make the best of it, keep moving, take as many steps as you can and use lots of elbow grease. It's hard to lose weight and change yourself. It is possible. I'd lost more than 40 lbs before being sidelined by a severe back injury. You can do it. It sounds like you're used to working hard so you just have to keep working and know that things sometimes take a while to start showing.

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6/3/12 2:58 P

I'm glad you're feeling better. It IS hard to envision the future. It can be stressful.

Now c'mon, why even go there? Don't be so hard on yourself. Just think about doing one or two healthy things now. When you achieve some small successes, you will want to tackle more.

If you find activities that you enjoy, you can even learn to have fun in the process. Because of you, I will take a walk today with my dog, and I will find 30 minutes every day this week to fit in some exercise.

I'm with you.....enjoy your walk!

current weight: 122.0

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6/3/12 2:38 P

Thanks guys ! I feel a bit better now. I'm planning to go for a walk tomorrow morning and doing it everyday , so we'll see if I manage to take that step tomorrow.

But I have a hard time seeing myself losing weight , and beeing skinnier. I get a "lump in my stomach" , when I think of the future , me beeing 35 , raising my children and having to worry about every little thing I put in my mouth.

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6/3/12 1:11 P

I believe that "slow and steady" wins the race; it's overwhelming when you try to change everything all at once. When I started with Spark, I just picked one or two new habits a weeks to start, it was easier for me to do it gradually and made it seem more like a lifestyle change than a "diet". I have also read that it takes 6 weeks of doing something in order for it to become a habit; I believe that's true; it took me 6 weeks of sticking to my meal plan and getting into an exercise routine before the pounds finally started to come off and stay off.

And take as long as you need to get through the Spark "stages"; I took longer than the recommended time to move up through each stage because I waited til I felt I was ready, not when the timetable said I should be.

You can do this! Remember that it takes time, and be kind to yourself.

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6/3/12 12:51 P

You're at the perfect time and place to start! Don't beat yourself up over the milk and chocolate! Think of the good efforts you put in so far and get back to it.

This site can help you tremendously in terms of information and support. It will give you information on how to form a plan of attack. You can learn how to shop for and cook easy, quick healthy meals and snacks.

You're young and you are taking your schooling seriously. That means you have plenty of time to create the kind of life you would like for yourself. I think you have to get specific and realistic about your goals, and set them in a reasonable time frame. Tracking your calories in and out witll give you some tools to work with. If you are consistent, it will eventually pay off. Have you taken a look at the Spark Getting Started Checklist? That's a great place to start!

Remember to tell yourself that YOU are WORTH the effort! There will be occasional setbacks and plateaus, but just tell yourself to keep doing a little bit better every day. It's a process that takes time. A lifetime of bad habits cannot be changed overnight, so expect and plan for that. Your reward will be feeling better day by day.

I wish I had taken better care of my health when I was your age! You are smart to be thinking of it now. You are totally worth it!

current weight: 122.0

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6/3/12 12:42 P

The younger you are when you get a grip on a healthy lifestyle the better and easier it will be for you. Baby steps is the best way. I find that if I take one day a week ( Sundays are good for me ) and do a lot of cooking for the week..like making a big pot of soup..maybe roasting a chicken and separating the meat to throw into different things for different meals..washing and cutting up a lot of fruits and veggies.. it helps the cooking not to be so overwhelming through out the week. My crock pot is very helpful too..throw things in and let it cook all day..there are many recipes online for slow cookers that are healthy and tasty.
For support that you don't get at home just take advantage of the wonderful people here on Spark..that is where I get my support from.
Just look at one day at a time..or it will be too overwhelming. Put some of your favorite musicn in while cleaning and dance around the house while getting your cleaning done. /this will help you to fit some exercise in while getting some chores done.
You can do this one step at a time.
Good luck on your healthy journey..remeber you must do this for you and the future you want for yourself !!

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6/3/12 11:54 A

I am obese , but where to start ?

I just turned 20 , and I've given my situation a lot of thought. I have wanted to change but haven't had the will to do it. I mean , I stopped eating sugar for two weeks and exercised almost every day , but no weight came of during those weeks , so I started eating again and now I'm sitting here with a glass of milk and chocolate-candy.

In a way I have had support from my family in terms of mental support but no support concerning food (cooking and buying the right products) ,exercise etc.
The other day we all talked it out and my parents said that if I needed , they would start cooking healthier food and not buying junk food. I'm usually the one that is cleaning the house, and cooking - while I'm trying to study. I usually get so tired of home and the atmosphere that I just don't study at all. I'm the one with the responsibilities and I don't know how I will manage to take care of everything and now start to make healthier meals AND work out.



Sidenote: I'm that kind of person that wants do finish school , find a husband to marry and to have kids. Starting my own family. ( I will not b able to have kids if I'm obese ) - but that's another story.
But yet , everything is tied together.

Anyway , I'm starting to feel like if I continue with this path I will get drained and I won't be able to start a family because I know what awaits me.

I mean , what should I do ? Where do I start ?