_COSMOPAULATAN_
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_COSMOPAULATAN_'s Blogs

Status Quo
Sunday, April 30, 2017      2 comments

Months fly by in the blink of an eye, don't they? It feels as if the more time I spend online, the less I appreciate my life and the less time I inevitably feel that I have. It's been a nearly-two month hiatus from Spark again, and at al... Read more
Shift
Sunday, March 05, 2017      8 comments

So, for the 3rd week in a row, I have gained weight. Though I have been consistent with movement, my food has been less than on-point. Several happy hours, dinners out and an employee party found me undoing all of the progress I made in Februa... Read more
6 Weeks In and the Lessons I've Learned
Sunday, February 19, 2017      6 comments

Outside of fighting disappointment from a disappointing week... on several levels... I am going to focus this blog on the positive things that are going on instead of wallowing in my frustration. ... Read more
The Year of Maude
Sunday, January 08, 2017      7 comments

Well, I made it through the first week of 2017 and ended on a high note. With my eating disorder, I've finally made peace with that to see any long-lasting change, I have to approach my life with moderation. It's extremely difficult to give up... Read more
Get In the Shape of Happy
Sunday, January 01, 2017      6 comments

So, in my excitement to get to my Nia class this morning, I forgot for everyone else in the world it's the day of fresh starts and resolutions because for me it's just Sunday. Yeah... 47 people in my class instead of the normal 15. ... Read more
Pushing the Reset Button - Again
Sunday, November 06, 2016      3 comments

I've been struggling for two weeks, and haven't been able to shake it. I've been wrestling with how to go about losing weight without restricting or over-exercising... I don't want to trigger my eating disorder, but not knowing a way forward ha... Read more
October Recap
Sunday, October 30, 2016      4 comments

I'm a day early, but it is what it is. In early October, I had a lot of success. I lost 7.2 pounds after 3 weeks but the success didn't last since I came back two weeks later and had magically gained 5.1 pounds. Not good. I'll spare everyone... Read more
What Happens When You Don't Give Up
Saturday, October 08, 2016      7 comments

On August 18th, I started working with a dietician to help me mindfully focus back in on nutrition and movement as a way to lose weight. Let me tell you, losing weight is hard enough but if you add an eating disorder into the mix, it's like ren... Read more
The Final Frontier
Sunday, September 25, 2016      3 comments

It's hard to believe that we are well into fall at this point. Life seems to be moving faster than I'm used to. I guess that's a good thing though, it means I'm making progress. A couple weeks ago I graduated from my eating disorder group.... Read more
May Recap
Wednesday, June 01, 2016      8 comments

I don't even know where to start... 2016 has been such a difficult year for so many people. Unfortunately, I didn't escape. My sweet baby Puccini died in my arms on May 19th. He was 16 years old. It happened overnight and was so unexpected. ... Read more
Spring and New Starts
Sunday, March 20, 2016      4 comments

It's been an emotional weekend. I haven't dealt with what I need to deal with yet, but I know what I need to do. It makes me sad, but it's part of my reality. I've eaten too much today... my appetite lately has been insatiable. Most like... Read more
Cultivate Joy - 2016
Monday, January 25, 2016      5 comments

It's been five years since I've taken myself - and my health - seriously. I'm in full-blown nostalgia mode this morning and it's making my heart ache with what was. I did it before, I can do it again. Perhaps not as extreme this time, perhaps... Read more
Week One Roundup
Sunday, October 04, 2015      5 comments

Despite being sick this week, I lost 1.4 pounds. Given that it was my first week back at working on my health, not so bad. It's easy for me to point to my first week back in 2010 and remember I lost 6 pounds... but this isn't then and I know m... Read more
Plugging Away
Saturday, October 03, 2015      3 comments

Well, my cough didn't kill me so that's a start. I spent a good portion of my day yesterday frustrated I couldn't access anything at work (thank you technology) and when I got sick of my own whining, I laid down and slept for 3 hours. That was... Read more
Pity Party
Thursday, October 01, 2015      4 comments

Well, after seeing myself on camera today, I'm in a complete spiral of self-doubt. It's pretty heavy... I have no idea why the person I am dating loves me. I don't love me. I don't love anything about how I look. Why does he? He probably do... Read more

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