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    VTRICIA   46,432
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Future me: don't give up now

Monday, March 23, 2015      3 comments

I cannot figure out how I'm supposed to get into that middle. Or even a reasonable 3 way tie. As soon as I take down one obstacle, another one pops up. I finally got all th... Read more

We all scream

Sunday, March 15, 2015      6 comments

I have a strange history with ice cream. It was my moms comfort food of choice in the bad old days so I was actually not a fan when I was heavy. I didn't avoid it but it had this tragic connotation. But when I lost weight and started re... Read more

Possible futures

Saturday, February 28, 2015      3 comments

Some strange obstacles have fallen across my path these last few months. I've been trying to apply to two different nursing schools, and despite my careful contingency planning it doesn't look like either one will work out this year. I can app... Read more

Maintenance and Happy

Sunday, February 22, 2015      2 comments

Last night I watched "Happy", a film about positive psychology that's on Netflix right now. It didn't really emphasize the domains of positive psychology, but they're there if you know where to look for them. 1. Positive feelings, which they... Read more

What if happiness is a xuanze?

Monday, February 16, 2015      3 comments

I've long been irritated by the addage that "happiness is a choice." But I also used to be annoyed by the saying "feelings are not good or bad, they just are". Psychologists who study subjective well being have long been bedeviled by the effec... Read more

Lottery and phantom fat

Thursday, February 12, 2015      6 comments

I'm working on a public speaking project (so this may read like a speech not a blog). My thesis is that weight loss doesn't make you happy, rather, mental wellness is the keystone to healthy lifestyle. The statistics on regain bring to m... Read more

Trying to fill the void

Saturday, January 31, 2015      7 comments

The first thing we probably think of, when we have pervasive feelings of emptiness, is filling them with food, and that was my life before. Maintaining a healthy weight calls for seeing food as more than that. But there are other things we do ... Read more

Back to school and babysteps

Friday, January 23, 2015      4 comments

I missed an entry last week with school starting. I was in 4 classes for a while, but I did get a definitive answer on whether I needed one class this morning, so I'm dropping it and that should make life a bit more manageable. I also st... Read more

This year vs. last

Sunday, January 04, 2015      6 comments

Last year it looks like I also gained about 4 pounds from Halloween to New Years, but I was in the bottom of my maintenance range rather than around the top, so it wasn’t as stressful. As drunk Phil Connor would say, “You make choices, and you ... Read more

Not even fools

Saturday, December 27, 2014      4 comments

Today's bizarre phrase is courtesy Stubby Pringle, a cowboy poem about the true meaning of Christmas that a guy at church reads the sunday before each Christmas for Sunday School. It grabbed my attention because the next landmark for maintainin... Read more

If everything were right, we'd be in jail

Wednesday, December 24, 2014      5 comments

This is something Wash says on Firefly. His wife Zoe says the captain's all tense and something isn't right, and he replies "Honey, we're crooks, if everything were right, we'd be in jail." I was thinking about my OCD and body dysmorphia... Read more

Worse or better?

Saturday, December 20, 2014      4 comments

One strange thing I had noticed since I have lost weight is that I get headaches about once a month, which I don't remember happening as often before. For a few years this puzzled me. I wondered what could be making more more sensitive. Maybe... Read more

2 years of maintenance: The Why

Friday, December 12, 2014      6 comments

This is a symbolic day, moving from the 80%-96% likelihood of regain to 50%. One thing I've wondered throughout this is whether the change is incremental or simply reflects the statistics of attrition. What is the next level? Let me check. A... Read more

Decreasing intake for first time in 2 years

Saturday, December 06, 2014      5 comments

I guess it hasn't been fully 2 years, but other than the first couple months of calorie cycling, I've eaten 2,000 calories per day most of the time. I mentioned my weight being up and my son said "You mean you're out of maintenance?!?! No, ... Read more

Where does that get fun?

Sunday, November 30, 2014      3 comments

This is a quote from a mercenary named Jayne Cobb who is wondering what the difference is between him and a psychopathic killer. He goes on to contemplate his slippery slope of conditions where he might kill a man, and it struck me as not too d... Read more

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