Yesterday was part of my semi annual "im gonna start eating right" beginning ...
I ate 3000 calories
119 grams of fat
106 grams of protein
25 grams of fiber
and was STARVING at 9pm .... I hate my body, pile of worthless sh#@ ... Read more
The Part of You That Is Killing You
This is the part of your that controls your fatness. It decides,unconsciously, what your appetite is, what your metabolism is and what your energy level is.
This bastard decides what your set point is and pretty much th... Read more
Clarity, Schism and War
I despise my body, I hate it in almost every possible way, it it a rotten rotten beast that tries to kill me on a daily basis.
I do not hate me, myself or I.
I see a clear difference between who I am, inside, and the w... Read more
A Rotten Day, A Rotten Life
I had a rotten day yesterday, really just one of the worst. And it was all because of my stupid, idiotic, waste of space of a body.
It decided, 22 days into my current journey, that it wanted ALL THE FOOD.
ALL OF IT
It just got p... Read more
A Love Letter ...
Dear Terrible Things
I love you. I love you so much, sometimes a lie awake at night fantasizing about you.
McDonalds French fries: You are so salty and drenched in fat I yearn for you. I hear rumors of a CyFry in a college town wh... Read more
What I am doing is working, for now, I am aware that in the future there might be struggles, but for now, today. I am ok
Keep your opinions to yourself. Dont tell me
"You should eat oatmeal in the morning."
"You should have a spoonful... Read more
Things I Don't Track
I try to track everything, but some things, some things I let slide
Calorie Free Soda ... I use a SodaStream for most of my sodas, their syrups dont use aspartame and have lower amounts of sucralose due to their formulary ...
Coffee ... i... Read more
Messing with the WRONG Guy
I made a mistake, I challenged myself to a buffet.
I had a coupon for a free buffet and I had made plans to meet an old friend there before I started down the path again, I thought I could handle it. I justified my actions as "This is new ... Read more
I Don't Believe in Cheat Days
Cheat days are a way that people without a problem try to help those of us that do.
"You can have a cheat day, it's ok because its not good to deprive yourself."
Are these the same people that hand a sixer of Pabst to an alcoholic afte... Read more
Blueprint for Success: Week one
14 pounds lost
I only got to the gym twice, but my intake is where my success came from
I limited to 3000 calories and 150 fat grams, to do that I ate:
Chicken and Rice bowl with soy sauce
Various chunky soups
A big salad with fa... Read more
A Ego Inflating Week
I have lost weight before, i know the glory of week one, I also know the danger.
Week one is usually when you shock your body, not with something dangerous, but when a dumb creature like the human body is used to getting what it wants, seve... Read more
I Don't Want to Assume My Ultimate Form
I am 38 years old. That number will ebb forward until it stops.
I am 6'6" tall, that number will begin to dwindle the above number increases
For the last 20 years I have weighed 350-400, with one brief respite at down to 275 and back d... Read more
In 2009, which I just realized is 5 years ago, I lost 100 pounds from March to September. It jsut always felt like I just did that, that I just succeed at my goal, but it was half a decade ago.
I have now gained all of the weight back, but... Read more
"Why are you trying to lose weight?"
A common, if not somewhat rhetorical question, people ask people like me. The common answer is either for family or health. "You know, for kids."
But, I am going to go ahead and be selfish here, I wa... Read more
Come with Me
Originally published Friday, June 04, 2010 .... It deserves a re-post
-a blinding flash of light, a doppelganger stands before him-
-startled- Who are you? How did you get here?!
Come with me.
-peering at the visitor- Wait a ... Read more
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