How to cook a turkey:
Step 1: Go buy a turkey
Turkey Dinner Step 2: Take a drink of whiskey, scotch, or JD
Step 3: Put turkey in the oven
Step 4: Take another 2 drinks of whiskey
Step 5: Set the degree at 375 ovens ... Read more
Mr. Smith goes to the doctor's office to get his wife's test results. The lab technician says to him, "I'm very sorry, sir, but we've had a bit of a problem. At the same time we sent your wife's samples to the lab, the lab also received samples ... Read more
HOW TO GIVE YOUR CAT A PILL
1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right h... Read more
Men Are Just Happier People --
What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack...
You can neve... Read more
40 years of marriage ...
couple in their early 60's were celebrating their
40th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic
Suddenly, a tiny yet
beautiful fairy appeared on their table.
She ... Read more
Great Italian Sex
The Jewish man said, “Last week, my wife and I had great sex. I rubbed her body all over with schmaltz (chicken fat), we made passionate love, and she screamed for five full minutes at the end!”
The Frenchman boasted, “Last... Read more
Six retired Italian fellows were playing poker in the condo clubhouse when Guido loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest, and drops dead at the table.
Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five continue playing, but st... Read more
Not sure if the email is legit, but thought I'd share it anyway just in case....
CHECK IT OUT: From a friend: (It originated in Florida)
Just when you thought you'd heard it all. This scam is actually very
clever. Be very careful out t... Read more
A man and a beautiful woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their waitress (taking another order at a table a few paces away) suddenly noticed that the man was slowing sliding down his chair and under the table, but the woman acted unco... Read more
Remember the guy who got on a plane with a bomb built into his shoe and tried to light it?
Did you know his trial is over? Did you know he was sentenced? (January 31, 2003)
Did you see/hear any of the judge's comments on TV or Radio?
I di... Read more
Directions to Heaven...
A little boy was waiting for his mother to come out of the grocery store. As he waited, he was approached by a man who asked, "Son, can you tell me where the Post Office is?"
The little boy replied, "Sure! Just ... Read more
Two brooms were hanging in the closet and after a while they got to know each other so well, they decided to get married.
One broom was, of course, the bride broom, the other the groom broom.
The bride broom looked very beautiful in he... Read more
Having company for dinner tonight and this is perfect for a brisk Fall night. Adding a big salad, nice bottle of wine equals a perfect dinner.
Lasagna with Pumpkin and Sage Infused Béchamel
... Read more
A man walks into a bar obviously stone drunk, and asks for a drink. Sorry the bartender but you obviously already had a little to much to drink. Fuming mad the drunk walks out the front door and walks into the side door. “Can I have a drink plea... Read more