I am leaving this information here as a reference as I do not post blogs here anymore...
If you are looking for my blogs, the are my new blog called "The Jiggly Bits."
Here is the link to the new and only blog:
... Read more
Question: How much money do you charge each person attending Thanksgiving dinner at your house?
A**Nothing. I just want to get together and catch up with loved ones.
B**Let’s go pot luck – that way no one bares sole responsibility for ... Read more
I told him our first meeting should be in New York - someplace neutral with millions of people [and far away from my house].
First of all…
Who asks a stranger – a woman [I mean me] that they’ve talked to twice on the phone – “When can ... Read more
I did it.
A major accomplishment.
I changed the light bulb in my kitchen.
Not impressed yet?
What if I told you it had been two weeks since I could see after 8 pm in the magic kitchen place because I didn’t feel like looking... Read more
She is standing behind me with a burning question.
“I see you have switched your fork,” she says intently. [I totally forgot to send a memo. Good catch.]
This is called - having a stalker. Who notices stuff like that? [I mean really.] ... Read more
I am lying on my back. She is lifting my breast. My breast is where it always is when I am lying on my back.
I don't remember ever having pert, dainty orbs. Mine have always been pro-gravity and um… casual.
[Question: ... Read more
I consider many things before I use the work bathroom. Hermetically sealing my body in plastic, determining how long I can hold my breath, and wearing gloves to avoid the germ-infested door handle come to mind.
Giving away my crap? Not so ... Read more
She does this cooing baby talk voice like she is trying to seduce me.
It makes me want to metamorphically slap her.
Here is the deal: a) if you are not a bird or Denzel Washington, do not seductively coo at me and b) baby talk is dum... Read more
“There is going to be a family reunion,” my only likeable family member said coyly on the phone.
[And it felt like a bird just shat on my head.]
My cousin has an unbelievable amount of patience for idiots. If she is related to the id... Read more
Honestly, I can’t believe something so loud shot from my bumcheeks.
It was like a massive truck backfiring, um… in a staff meeting.
And I am well-aware that I am supposed to clench my bumcheeks until I am about to faint, easing out the... Read more