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    SUNSHINE65   78,060
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12 Reasons to be Thankful you Burnt the Bird!

Monday, November 22, 2010      7 comments

Salmonella won't be a concern. Everyone will think your turkey is Cajun blackened. Uninvited guests will think twice next year. Your cheese broccoli lima bean casserole will gain newfound appreciation. Pets won't bother t... Read more

Turkey Survival

Wednesday, November 17, 2010      4 comments

When I was a young turkey, new to the coop, My big brother Mike took me out on the stoop, Then he sat me down, and he spoke real slow, And he told me there was something that I had to know; His look and his tone I will always reme... Read more

Influence of advertising!

Saturday, November 13, 2010      5 comments

I saw this on an ad for DeVry University on my SparkPeople today and all I could think of was: CHOCOLATE.... CARAMEL.... BUTTERSCOTCH.... VANILLA.... WINE.... Oh,... Read more

Eat Chocolate?

Saturday, November 13, 2010      12 comments

A good piece of chocolate has about 200 calories. As I enjoy 2 servings per night, and a few more on weekends, I consume about 3,500 calories of chocolate in a week, which equals one pound of weight per week. Therefore, in the last 3-1/2 y... Read more

BODYBUGG

Monday, November 08, 2010      3 comments

"A company in Pennsylvania made an armband that monitors your physical activity, counts how many calories you've burned, and then sends that information to your iPhone. That's gotta be a little depressing. 'Oh, I got a call. No, I'm just fat.'"... Read more

Real Teachers

Saturday, November 06, 2010      4 comments

Real teachers buy Excedrin and Advil in bulk at Sam's. Real teachers will eat anything left in the teacher's lounge. Real teachers grade papers in the car, during commercials, in faculty meetings, in the bathroom, and at the end of n... Read more

The older we get....

Tuesday, November 02, 2010      8 comments

ONE Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. 'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the teenager at the counter. 'You don't?' I r... Read more

ABCs

Monday, November 01, 2010      3 comments

While walking through the woods one day, I was surprised to hear a child's voice. I followed the sound, trying in vain to understand the child's words. When I spotted a boy perched on a rock, I realized why his words had made no sense: He was re... Read more

Temperature

Wednesday, October 27, 2010      1 comments

A CEO-type was in the hospital, being treated for a minor deal. For a week he'd made a complete nuisance of himself, irritating all the staff, shouting orders and demanding attention, complaining about the food, the bed, the temperature, the wea... Read more

The Fitness Journal

Wednesday, October 27, 2010      1 comments

MONDAY: Didn't work out because it was too cold in the morning and too creepy at night. TUESDAY:Didn't work out because it seemed pointless to exercise until I stocked up on healthy groceries... WEDNESDAY:Didn't work out because I had to wat... Read more

The dreaded plateau

Tuesday, October 26, 2010      6 comments

"I work out and work out and ...... nothing!" "You've hit the fitness plateau." "I'm trying as hard as ever!" "Your body is bored. A bored body quits responding. To rekindle metabolism you have to SURPRISE your body! Show it some new mo... Read more

My Body is a Temple???

Monday, October 25, 2010      1 comments

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Dumb Instructions

Friday, October 22, 2010      2 comments

"Warning: May contain nuts." -- On a package of peanuts. "Do not eat." -- On a slip of paper in a stereo box, referring to the styrofoam packing. "Access hole only -- not intended for use in lifting box." -- On the sides of a shippin... Read more

The Top Ten Differences Between Cats & Dogs:

Tuesday, October 19, 2010      2 comments

10. Dogs come when you call them. Cats take a message and get back to you when they are good and ready. 9. Dogs will let you give them a bath without taking out a contract on your life. 8. Dogs will bark to wake you up if the house is ... Read more

Funny Signs

Monday, October 18, 2010      3 comments

At a Santa Fe gas station: "We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container." In a New York restaurant: "Customers who consider our waitresses uncivil ought to see the manager." On the wall of a Baltimore estate: "Trespassers wi... Read more


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