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SUNSHINE65's Blogs

Great Come-backs by some of history's most famous people
Saturday, August 11, 2012      10 comments

1. Thomas Reed vs Henry Clay Clay: I would rather be right than be president. Reed: The gentleman need not trouble himself, he'll never be either. 2. Winston Churchill vs Lady Astor Astor: Winston, if you were my husband, I'd put ... Read more
Camping Tips
Friday, August 10, 2012      12 comments

Q. What equipment will I need to go camping? A. You need a tent. Tent sizes are measured in units of men, as in "a three-man tent"; this tells you how many men are required to erect the tent if they are all professional tent engineers. Even... Read more
Thursday, August 09, 2012      14 comments

- State worker - Legally drunk - Exact estimate - Act naturally - Found missing - Resident alien - Genuine imitation - Airline Food - Good grief - Government organization - Sanitary landfill - Alone together - Small crowd... Read more
What was the baker thinking?
Monday, August 06, 2012      9 comments

When my coworker Donsa was promoted, we decided to celebrate. Her boss called the baker and ordered a cake. "Two questions," said the baker. "Is Donsa a man or a woman? And what do you want the cake to say?" "The cake should read 'Cong... Read more
Eating Chocolate
Monday, August 06, 2012      10 comments

Chocolate is derived from cocoa beans. Bean = vegetable. Sugar is derived from either sugar CANE or sugar BEETS. Both are plants, which places them in the vegetable category. Thus, chocolate is a vegetable. The problem: How to get 2 pounds... Read more
Wise Words from Wise Women
Sunday, August 05, 2012      7 comments

I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch. - Gilda Radner Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. - Maryon Pearson Our struggle today is not to have a female Einstein get appointed as an assistant professor. It i... Read more
Sunday, August 05, 2012      10 comments

Oldie but goodie... Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"? Why is "abbreviated" such a long word? Why ... Read more
Saturday, August 04, 2012      11 comments

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Conditions Improve in Hell
Saturday, August 04, 2012      9 comments

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer ˜ you're in the wrong place." So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfie... Read more
Deep Thoughts About Pigs and Sheep
Saturday, August 04, 2012      3 comments

Do you think sheep know when you're pulling the wool over their eyes? Does the person who inventories sheep often fall asleep on the job? If a pig is sold to the pawn shop is it then called a ham-hock? If we make sweaters out o... Read more
Unscheduled Outage
Saturday, August 04, 2012      2 comments

It's thunderstorm season and when the power goes out at one branch office, the uninterruptible power supplies kick in, everything gracefully shuts down, and the technician waits for power to return. And waits. And waits. "Late evening sees... Read more
Saturday, August 04, 2012      12 comments

TEXAS BEER JOINT SUES LOCAL CHURCH OVER LIGHTNING STRIKE! A bar called Drummond's (in Mt Vernon, Texas) began construction on an expansion of their building, hoping to "grow" their business. In response, the local Southern Baptist Churc... Read more
Army officer training school
Friday, August 03, 2012      4 comments

In this particular branch of the Army's officer training school, the instructor was returning a test. The students identified their work by the last four digits of their Social Security number. In the early hours of a morning, the instruct... Read more
Thursday, August 02, 2012      10 comments

IT'S SO HOT in Texas.....the birds have to use potholders to pull the worms out of the ground. .....the trees are whistling for the dogs. .....the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance water comes from b... Read more
Dubious Bank Account Practices!
Tuesday, July 31, 2012      9 comments

My friend has a bad habit of overdrawing her bank account. One day before we went shopping, I complained about my lack of funds and lamented, "Guess I'll use plastic." Unconcerned, she whipped out her checkbook and said: "I'm using rubber."... Read more

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