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    SUNSHINE65   69,710
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Actual epitaphs from real tombstones:

Tuesday, July 24, 2012      14 comments

In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery: Anna Wallace The children of Israel wanted bread And the Lord sent them manna, Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife, And the Devil sent him Anna. Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery: Here lies Johnny... Read more

Bad Habit

Tuesday, July 24, 2012      3 comments

Most of us have a bad habit we are constantly trying to break. For me, it's biting my fingernails. One day I told my husband about my latest solution: press-on nails. "Great Idea, Honey," he smiled. "You can eat them straight out of the bo... Read more

Sunday...

Monday, July 23, 2012      4 comments

Missed sending you all a joke yesterday! Don't even remember if I spinned the wheel. Went on a Jet boat cruise up the Willamette [will a' met] and Columbia Rivers, and through the locks at the Bonneville Dam. A native Oregonian and this is th... Read more

Ol' Fred

Saturday, July 21, 2012      10 comments

Ol' Fred had been a faithful Christian and was in the hospital, near death. The family called their preacher to stand with them. As the preacher stood next to the bed, Ol' Fred's condition appeared to deteriorate and he motioned frantically for... Read more

Meat Market

Saturday, July 21, 2012      7 comments

A cannibal entered the meat market to buy something nice for dinner. The owner greeted him and told him to look around. The cannibal began to inspect the meat case and noticed the market specialized in brain. Upon further inspection he not... Read more

Mass Hysteria

Saturday, July 21, 2012      4 comments

A professor of clinical psychology at Victoria University in Wellington, New Zealand, included a lecture on crowd psychology in his annual course. To illustrate mass hysteria, he regularly showed TV news footage of teenage crowds greeting the Be... Read more

Jogging Shoes

Saturday, July 21, 2012      4 comments

Deciding to take up jogging, the middle-aged man was astounded by the wide selection of jogging shoes available at the local sports shoe store. While trying on a basic pair of jogging shoe, he noticed a minor feature and asked the clerk about it... Read more

Bus Driver

Saturday, July 21, 2012      4 comments

Did you all get this right? YOU are the bus driver, so the color of the driver's eyes are the color of YOUR eyes! Q: You’re a bus driver. At the first stop 4 people get on. At the second stop 8 people on, at the third stop 2 people ... Read more

A Child's Book Report on the Entire Bible

Thursday, July 19, 2012      10 comments

In the beginning, there was nothing but God, darkness, and some gas. The Bible says, 'The Lord thy God is one,’ but I think he must be a lot older than that. Anyway, God said, 'Give me a light!' and someone did. Then God made the world. He... Read more

Bus Driver

Thursday, July 19, 2012      5 comments

Q: You’re a bus driver. At the first stop 4 people get on. At the second stop 8 people on, at the third stop 2 people get off and, at the forth stop everyone got off. The question is what color are the bus driver's eyes? A: _____________... Read more

BETTER THAN GUN CONTROL...

Thursday, July 19, 2012      5 comments

Gun Control? Gun control? We need bullet control! I think every bullet should cost $5,000. Because if a bullet cost $5,000, we wouldn't have any innocent bystanders. That'd be it. Every time someone gets shot, people will be like, ''Darn, h... Read more

Some thoughts...or not!

Wednesday, July 18, 2012      10 comments

Getting back together with an old boyfriend is pathetic. It's like having a garage sale and buying your own stuff back. *** I wouldn't want to fly Virgin. Who'd want to fly an airline that doesn't go all the way? *** My girl... Read more

Carpenter's Distance

Wednesday, July 18, 2012      5 comments

A carpenter was giving evidence about an accident he had witnessed. The lawyer for the defendant was trying to discredit him and asked him how far away he was from the accident. The carpenter replied, "Twenty-seven feet, six and one-half i... Read more

Rowdy Student

Tuesday, July 17, 2012      5 comments

On his first day at a new school, a headmaster was making rounds when he heard a terrible commotion from one of the classrooms. Marching in, he spotted one boy, taller than the others, who seemed to be making most of the noise. So he seized the ... Read more

Today at the Psychiatric Hospital

Tuesday, July 17, 2012      5 comments

A guy is passing a Mental Hospital surrounded by a wall and he hears the chanting inside, Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen! Curious to see what‚s going on he finds a small hole in the wall, so he bends and peeks inside. Someone inside pokes him hard... Read more


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