Excuse for Speeding
This Middle aged man was going through his mid-life crisis so he went out and bought him a new bright red BMW. So he decided to take his new BMW on a test drive down the interstate one day.
He got up to about 85 mph and all of a sudden he ... Read more
Wife's Last Words
Tina was on her deathbed, with her husband Mike at her side. He held her cold hand as silent tears streamed down his face.
"Mike," she said weakly.
"Hush my darling," he interrupted, "don't talk, save your strength."
But she in... Read more
Preacher's Wish from God
A preacher went into his church and he was praying to God.
While he was praying, he asked God, "How long is 10 million years to you?"
God replied, "One second."
The next day the preacher asked God, "God, how much is 10 million ... Read more
Method of Eating Oreos
Psychologists have discovered that the manner in which people eat Oreo cookies provides great insight into their personalities. Choose which method best describes your favorite method of eating Oreos:
1. The whole thing all at once.
2.... Read more
Sitting in the first row of coach class during a lengthy flight, my wife and I were able to hear a flight attendant as he pushed a wine cart down the aisle in the first-class section. "Would you care for chardonnay or burgundy?" he asked the hig... Read more
A woman went to the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas Cards. "What denomination?" asked the clerk.
"Oh, good heavens! Have we come to this?" said the woman. "Well, give me 30 Catholic, 10 Baptist ones, 20 Lutheran, and 40 Presbyt... Read more
Ease back pain by eating pineapple. Just a cup of fresh chunks or one glass of juice is all you need. Pineapple contains high amounts of manganese; an important building block for collagen, the fibrous structure that helps support and protect yo... Read more
The Chapstick Story
Got this from a friend and it's just too rich not to share...…also, do you know where your chapstick has been? Oh, and now I know why I never had kids!
Mary Kay supplied this little offering:
Happy Sunday the 8th of July, folks, which ... Read more
Aren't We Fortunate To Be Seniors !
A friend of mine was sitting on a lawn, sunning and reading, when he was startled by a fairly late model car crashing through a hedge and coming to rest on his lawn.
He helped the elderly driver out and sat her on a lawn chair.
“My g... Read more
Who is the Susie in your life?
Come with me to a third grade classroom..... There is a nine-year-old kid sitting at his desk and all of a sudden, there is a puddle between his feet and the front of his pants are wet. He thinks his heart is going to stop because he cannot poss... Read more
Waking Up for Church
One Sunday morning, a mother went in to wake her son and tell him it was time to get ready for church, to which he replied, "I'm not going."
"Why not?" she asked."I'll give you two good reasons," he said. "One, they don't like me, and two,... Read more
High Blood Pressure
When a physician remarked on a new patient's extraordinarily ruddy complexion, he said, "High blood pressure, Doc. It comes from my family."
"Your mother's side or your father's?" I asked.
"Neither," he replied. "It's from my wife's ... Read more
Too Much Sugar
A fellow nurse at my hospital received a call from an anxious patient.
"I'm diabetic and I'm afraid I've had too much sugar today." the caller said.
"Are you light-headed?" my colleague asked.
"No," the caller answered, "I'm a ... Read more
Our six-year-old daughter, Terra, has a need to ask questions...lots of questions. Finally, one day, my wife had it.
"Have you ever heard that curiosity killed the cat?" my wife asked.
"No," replied Terra.
"Well, there was a ca... Read more
Micah and Steve, two good ole boys from South Carolina, were sittin' on the front porch drinking beer when a large truck hauling rolls and rolls of sod went by.
"I'm gonna do that when I win the lottery," said Micah.
"Do what?" asked S... Read more
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