The minister drove into a sand trap. He picked up his golf club, broke it but didn't say a word.
Then he picked up the golf bag and tore it to shreds but didn't say a word.
He then took out all the golf balls and... Read more
You Know You Need A New Lawyer When:
- The prosecutor sees your lawyer in the hall, and they high-five each other.
- During your initial consultation he tries to sell you Amway.
- He tells you that his last go... Read more
Yesterday presidential candidate Ted Cruz said that he will in fact be signing up for Obamacare despite saying earlier that he wants to repeal every word of it. It's a good thing he's signing up, because Cruz just went to the hospital in hypocri... Read more
If God wanted us to vote, he would have
given us candidates.
The problem with political jokes is they
~Henry Cate, VII~
We hang the petty thieves
and appoint the great ones to public office.
~Aesop... Read more
Actual Newspaper Headlines (we can only assume!)
1. Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
2. Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
3. Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
4. Farmer Bill Dies in House
5. Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
... Read more
Late nite revisited, because you slept through it
They found a scrapbook with photos of Osama bin Laden from the '90s, and they're studying each and every photo very, very closely. My favorite shot of Osama bin Laden was right between the eyes. -David Letterman
There is controversy surroun... Read more
Some late night funniees...
Leonard Nimoy passed away last week. In Canada, where he's not even from, they're paying him an unusual tribute called "Spocking." They draw Spock ears, hair, and eyebrows on the guy on their $5 bills. Spocking is not illegal in Canada, although... Read more
Have a laugh...
The plumber can't put in the bathroom fixtures until next month. That's a shower stall if I've ever heard one.
When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
When it comes to telling her age, she's shy.....about te... Read more
Over A Century Ago...
Maybe this will boggle your mind, I know it did mine! The year is 1905, just over one hundred years ago. What a difference a century makes!
Here are some of the U.S. statistics for 1905:
- The average life expectancy in the U.S. was ... Read more
Here're some sayings you can get on T shirts!
Karma takes way too long, I'd rather just smack you right now.
I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.
Jesus loves you but I'm his favorite.
Askhole a person who constantly asks for your advice, yet always d... Read more
Some Late Nite Funnees...
According to a recent survey, 12 percent of Americans say that it's fine to cheat a little on your taxes. While the other 88 percent know not to talk to a guy with a clipboard asking them if they cheat on their taxes. -Jimmy Fallon
The inv... Read more
Let he who is without sin cast...
I'm reminded of the old joke about Jesus telling the crowd who is stoning the adulteress, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."
Suddenly a woman throws a rock at the adulturess.
Jesus looks up, and says, "Oh for Pete's sa... Read more
A minister decided to do something a little different one Sunday morning. He said "Today, in church, I am going to say a single word and you are going to help me preach. Whatever single word I say, I want you to sing whatever hymn that comes to ... Read more
More Late Nite Funnies
Fifteen states across the country have gas prices that have dipped below $2. That means itís now cheaper to buy a gallon of liquefied dinosaurs than one cup of coffee at Starbucks. -Jimmy Fallon
An NFL player was arrested in Florida on gun... Read more
Late night funnies
Mitt Romney says he is considering a third campaign for the presidency. He made the announcement during a private meeting with donors. Itís pretty shocking, you know, that Mitt Romney needs donors. I mean, what are these guys, trillionaires? -Ji... Read more
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