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Well well well well well well...
As it turns out, this was actually a pretty good week. I've lost four pounds.
And I know it's not a B.S., water-weight-related loss. Check out my stats:
... Read more
HOLY HOT BATMAN
Bleggghh. It's hot as a crotch here in the northeast... when I woke up at 5am, it was already 80 degrees and humid enough to make me sprout gills. Yuck. I wanted to start running again in earnest this week (encouraged by having a good, pain-f... Read more
Sometimes darkness can show you the light
The lyrics to the song "The Light" by Disturbd are kiiiiiiind of really resonating with me right now. I'm still wrestling with the demons, with varying degrees of success... but I still have fight in me, and that's something to hold onto. And ... Read more
Days 22 and 23
Going to my therapist may be the best decision I've ever made. I'm not out of the woods, by any means, but I really like my therapist and I feel like I'm going to get good help.
I don't have the energy to type much at the moment, but I did... Read more
Today: work, therapy, workout.
So glad I get in to see the therapist today.
Public Service Announcement: I had a few people yesterday respond to my mention of depression by alluding to life being a roller coaster ride. ... Read more
Days 18, 19, 20
The weekend was a little hairy... I was emotionally pretty distraught and so working out was difficult (shoot, even just getting out of bed was difficult), but I did okay. I'm only missing two workouts at this point, and I'm catching up on that... Read more
Days 16 and 17
I bagged out of yesterday's workout because I simply couldn't find the mental energy to do it. Depression is like that... it can rob you of all of your will to do the things you normally enjoy. I decided rather than force myself to do it to in... Read more
My old scale was not functioning properly, so I bought a new one. It's fancy, and tells me my weight, body fat %, muscle mass %, water weight %, and bone density. It also connects to my phone via Bluetooth, so I have an easy way to track my st... Read more
So I bolted upright in bed around 1:30 am, and I was not able to get to sleep afterward. Pretty common for depression.
Tried staying in bed, meditating, reading, etc. - and around 5am, I figured it was pointless and got up. I worked out. ... Read more
Days 11 & 12, and 13
Did yoga, as scheduled, on Saturday.
Bagged leg day yesterday, but it was only because I was busy doing other things. I got up early and did yardwork, and for some reason I felt motivated to go on a cleaning jag and so I began moving my be... Read more
hey, here's a good link to describe what I am going through.
This is literally everything that is happening to me right now. It sums up pretty darn perfectly what depression is. I hope you read it - not to understand me, but to understand what everyone who suffers with depression goes through.
... Read more
Days 9 and 10
Yesterday, I found my brain so full of angst and static that - against my better judgment - I went outside and ran. I figured I could do a half hour of running and then do P90X plyo, but only half (each exercise once). I ran well, even in spit... Read more
Still on the exercise wagon.
Still hanging in there.... Read more
Days 6 and 7
I had to bag my workout yesterday - first day of my period is always rough. No matter - I brought my workout clothes to work today. My boss leaves at about 1:30pm, and so I will have the office to myself for the remainder of the afternoon.
... Read more
Days 4 and 5
Sticking with my workouts is proving to be very grounding. I was shocked at how good yoga felt yesterday. Usually I fuss and complain about it because it makes me feel creaky and old, but - maybe because I have so little energy to put any kind... Read more