Tonight is my first band gig! So excited! And definitely nervous. I was really fighting my lip last night at rehearsal, but my fellow tuba peeps are really cool and supportive, and while the band is focused on musical excellence, they also ha... Read more
So, I think we can all agree that 2016 has been a rough year, yes?
On pretty much every level of my life, I am in the process of restructuring... in some cases, taking it down to the ground and starting all over again.
As far as my hea... Read more
I need to rein it in, folks.
I feel gross, and I've finally had enough.
So - I'm back on the wagon. I am exercising again, and I'm watching what I eat... and I do believe I will be giving up booze, as well.
I just feel blegh and ... Read more
Well well well well well well...
As it turns out, this was actually a pretty good week. I've lost four pounds.
And I know it's not a B.S., water-weight-related loss. Check out my stats:
... Read more
HOLY HOT BATMAN
Bleggghh. It's hot as a crotch here in the northeast... when I woke up at 5am, it was already 80 degrees and humid enough to make me sprout gills. Yuck. I wanted to start running again in earnest this week (encouraged by having a good, pain-f... Read more
Sometimes darkness can show you the light
The lyrics to the song "The Light" by Disturbd are kiiiiiiind of really resonating with me right now. I'm still wrestling with the demons, with varying degrees of success... but I still have fight in me, and that's something to hold onto. And ... Read more
Days 22 and 23
Going to my therapist may be the best decision I've ever made. I'm not out of the woods, by any means, but I really like my therapist and I feel like I'm going to get good help.
I don't have the energy to type much at the moment, but I did... Read more
Today: work, therapy, workout.
So glad I get in to see the therapist today.
Public Service Announcement: I had a few people yesterday respond to my mention of depression by alluding to life being a roller coaster ride. ... Read more
Days 18, 19, 20
The weekend was a little hairy... I was emotionally pretty distraught and so working out was difficult (shoot, even just getting out of bed was difficult), but I did okay. I'm only missing two workouts at this point, and I'm catching up on that... Read more
Days 16 and 17
I bagged out of yesterday's workout because I simply couldn't find the mental energy to do it. Depression is like that... it can rob you of all of your will to do the things you normally enjoy. I decided rather than force myself to do it to in... Read more
My old scale was not functioning properly, so I bought a new one. It's fancy, and tells me my weight, body fat %, muscle mass %, water weight %, and bone density. It also connects to my phone via Bluetooth, so I have an easy way to track my st... Read more
So I bolted upright in bed around 1:30 am, and I was not able to get to sleep afterward. Pretty common for depression.
Tried staying in bed, meditating, reading, etc. - and around 5am, I figured it was pointless and got up. I worked out. ... Read more
Days 11 & 12, and 13
Did yoga, as scheduled, on Saturday.
Bagged leg day yesterday, but it was only because I was busy doing other things. I got up early and did yardwork, and for some reason I felt motivated to go on a cleaning jag and so I began moving my be... Read more
hey, here's a good link to describe what I am going through.
This is literally everything that is happening to me right now. It sums up pretty darn perfectly what depression is. I hope you read it - not to understand me, but to understand what everyone who suffers with depression goes through.
... Read more
Days 9 and 10
Yesterday, I found my brain so full of angst and static that - against my better judgment - I went outside and ran. I figured I could do a half hour of running and then do P90X plyo, but only half (each exercise once). I ran well, even in spit... Read more