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    PT.JEFFGIRL   161,666
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Good Night Good Bye

Friday, October 02, 2015      7 comments

A father put his three year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers - which she ended by saying "God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma, and good-bye Grandpa." The father said, "Why did you say good-b... Read more

The Intelligent Blonde

Thursday, October 01, 2015      6 comments

An intelligent blonde was opening her morning paper, when she noticed a page filled from top to bottom with blonde jokes. Needless to say, this put her in a very bad mood, which continued as she drove to work. On her way there, she happened to g... Read more

The Seat Belt

Wednesday, September 30, 2015      7 comments

This old rancher in Montana hates wearing a seat belt, but one day he's driving on the highway with his wife and sees a state patrol car behind him. He says to his wife, "Quick, take the wheel! I gotta put my seat belt on!" So she do... Read more

How To Get Rid of Telemarketers

Monday, September 28, 2015      6 comments

If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died. When they try to get to the sel... Read more

Rules of Eating Chocolate

Sunday, September 27, 2015      6 comments

- If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly. - Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want. - The problem: How to get 2 pounds... Read more

Words From Women

Thursday, September 24, 2015      4 comments

If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck? - Linda Ellerbee I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house. - Zs... Read more

The Heavenly Marriage

Wednesday, September 23, 2015      4 comments

There was a young couple, very much in love, who the night before they were to be married, were both tragically killed in an automobile accident. They found themselves at the pearly gates of heaven being escorted in by St. Peter. After a coup... Read more

Time Honored Truths

Monday, September 21, 2015      4 comments

If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting? If God dropped acid, would he see people? If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too? If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2? ... Read more

A Woman's Random Thought-Some You May Have Heard

Sunday, September 06, 2015      3 comments

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it will always be yours. If it doesn't come back, it was never yours to begin with. But, if it just sits in your living room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your telephone,... Read more

Child Rearing FAQ

Friday, September 04, 2015      5 comments

Q: Should I have a baby after 35? A: No, 35 children is enough. Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move? A: With any luck, right after he finishes college. Q: How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or ... Read more

Wife Free Vehicle

Friday, August 21, 2015      7 comments

On a rural road a state trooper pulled this farmer over and said: "Sir, do you realize your wife fell out of the car several miles back?" To which the farmer replied: "Thank God, I thought I had gone deaf!"... Read more

Texan With A New Car

Tuesday, August 18, 2015      8 comments

Three cowboys were hanging out in the bunkhouse. "I know that smart aleck Tex," said the first. "He's going to start bragging about that new foreign car he bought as soon as he gets back." "Not Tex," the second cowboy replied. "He'll alway... Read more

Doctor In The Opera House

Monday, August 17, 2015      4 comments

It was the interval at the Opera when Mrs. Sternberg rose from her seat and called: "Is there a doctor in the house? Is there a doctor in the house?!" A man in a tuxedo pushed his way towards her. "I'm a doctor" he said. "Oh, doctor,... Read more

Crazy With Confusion

Tuesday, August 11, 2015      9 comments

A psychiatrist visited a California mental institution and asked a patient, "How did you get here? What was the nature of your illness?" He got the following reply. "Well, it all started when I got married and I guess I should never have d... Read more


Saturday, August 08, 2015      8 comments

There's this guy in a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half-an-hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. ... Read more

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