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    PAULINLIM   57,899
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Fixing fixed!

Thursday, January 03, 2013      4 comments

Last night I made plans to meet Y. (a woman I met in OA) and L. (an art teacher I met at B. and A.'s party) at the Museum of Fine Arts for drawing. I biked over in the howling wind over icy paths and felt calm and assured, thanks to my higher p... Read more

What am I feeling right now? OA questions

Tuesday, November 06, 2012      0 comments

1. What things brought you to OA? I had given up all animal products, oil and refined flour and sugar in the weeks preceding my first meeting (since the early 1990s, that is). I felt wonderfully calm but found that I had a hard time explai... Read more

Yoga and meditation are my super-weapons

Monday, October 22, 2012      0 comments

Lately if I am not certain whether I am sincerely hungry, I do a little yoga or running, since those are activities that quickly put me in touch with my body because they feel good to do on an empty stomach-- very little else feels good. I have... Read more

Big, scary, fresh changes

Sunday, September 23, 2012      1 comments

I have been overcoming my fears and changing up my life quite a bit. Yesterday I went for a job interview at Trader Joe's and got offered the job right on the spot. I was so elated/nervous/scared that I went immediately to an OA meeting on the... Read more

Cry-o-therapy

Friday, September 14, 2012      1 comments

Last Friday I sobbed unrestrainedly in a motel room after wanting to binge all afternoon, and I discovered that I felt so wonderfully relaxed and uncompulsive afterward, that I decided to cry a little bit every day instead of suppressing any neg... Read more

The devil and the angel

Tuesday, September 04, 2012      1 comments

I ate my head off today at work. Where have I gone wrong? I'm afraid this sounds really lame, but I make my own sourdough bread, and I have had a good experience with staying craving-free making 100% whole-wheat, but I worried about wastin... Read more

Being honest

Sunday, September 02, 2012      2 comments

In the 12-step program, they say honesty is so important to staying sober in program. Today I did something that was dishonest. I was on a 50-mile bike ride with friends, and we stopped at a yummy place halfway through for snacks. I waited ou... Read more

Checking in today

Tuesday, August 28, 2012      0 comments

I have always had difficulty telling how much is "enough" and how much is "too much". I have a lot of perfectionism problems. I came to OA at a weight I was really happy with, but I knew from past experience that I would get really depressed o... Read more

Obsessing, obsessing

Thursday, August 23, 2012      1 comments

I am having some difficulty today in being at peace. I'm very obsessive by nature. Since giving up the food, I keep finding myself wanting to buy things. Only when I feel close to my Higher Power do I feel free of these obsessions. I am worr... Read more

Strengthening my connection to my higher power

Tuesday, August 21, 2012      2 comments

I wrenched my back while strength-training this morning, then went to meditation class and almost fell asleep. Realizing that I'm in nagging pain and tired, I knew why I kept obsessing about sweets this afternoon at work. I attended an online ... Read more

Comparison makes you either vain or bitter

Monday, August 20, 2012      0 comments

Being away for the weekend, I had to confront meals where I had no control. I was in a situation that was competitive and bored at the same time-- perfect conditions to make me eat mindlessly. It was a bike race and I was waiting for my husban... Read more

Zillions of little moments of misery

Friday, August 17, 2012      0 comments

I had some spiritual lessons today. I get really bitchy about doing the cooking and cleaning, and after preparing dinner in the woefully under-equipped kitchenette in this motel, my husband said, "Can I weasel out of doing the clean-up? I stil... Read more

Back into the one-teens, after 2 years of trying

Thursday, August 16, 2012      3 comments

I have seen therapists over the years for my body image, and they were extremely helpful, but I acknowledge that it's a daily practice that I need to develop, a muscle I need to flex, just like my relationship with my Higher Power. I wasn't abl... Read more

Scary little cookies

Monday, August 13, 2012      2 comments

I just had a couple of shortbread cookies at work, after having stayed away from that kind of food for weeks, and though they were small, it scared me a little. I don't want to reawaken my tastebuds to fat, sugar and refined flour! My tastebud... Read more

Calm and at peace

Thursday, August 09, 2012      2 comments

I have always been a huge fan of afternoon tea, the ritual and the dainty foods. I had tea last Sunday at friends' house, but I ate some sweet things (not my usual danger foods) that ended up being a problem, as they made me hyper and then cras... Read more


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