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    PATRICIAANN46   393,731
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The Ocean---All You Need To Know!!!

Monday, February 25, 2013      12 comments

Children Writing About The Ocean 1. This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly, age 6) 2. Oysters' balls are called pearls. (Jerry, age 6) 3. If you are surrounded by ocean, you are an island. If you don... Read more

The Real Laws Of Nature

Sunday, February 24, 2013      9 comments

1. Law of Mechanical Repair---After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee. 2. Law of Gravity---Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. 3.... Read more

Success

Saturday, February 23, 2013      7 comments

At age 4 success is..........Not piddling in your pants. At age 12 success is..........Having friends. At age 17 success is..........Having a driver's license. At age 35 success is ..........Having money. At age 50 success... Read more

The Four Stages Of Life

Friday, February 22, 2013      12 comments

1. You believe in Santa Claus. 2. You don't believe in Santa Claus. 3. You are Santa Claus. 4. You look like Santa Claus. (Until you join SparkPeople.) ... Read more

Great Truths That Adults Have Learned

Thursday, February 21, 2013      11 comments

1. Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree. (Isn't that the truth?!?) 2. Wrinkles don't hurt. (Thank You) 3. Families are like fudge........mostly sweet, with a few nuts. (Hmmmm) 4. Today's mighty oak is just yest... Read more

Great Truths That Little Children Have Learned

Wednesday, February 20, 2013      11 comments

1. No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats. 2. When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair. 3. If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person. 4. Never ask your... Read more

Scumbag Attorney

Tuesday, February 19, 2013      21 comments

This is the best lawyer story of the year, decade and probably the century. A Charlotte, NC, lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against fire among other things. Within a month, having smoked his ent... Read more

Blonde Milk Bath

Monday, February 18, 2013      14 comments

A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful. So she left a note for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk. When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons. So he kn... Read more

Good Samaritan

Sunday, February 17, 2013      7 comments

A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan. She asked the class, "If you saw a person lying on the roadside, wounded and bleeding, what would you do?" A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence....... Read more

Winning

Saturday, February 16, 2013      10 comments

A blonde city girl named Amy marries a Colorado rancher. One morning, on his way out to check on the cows, the rancher says to Amy, "The insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows today, so I drove a nail into the 2 by 4 ... Read more

Yes, I'm A Senior Citizen!!!

Friday, February 15, 2013      16 comments

I'm the life of the party.....Even if it lasts until 8 P.M. I'm very good at opening childproof caps..........With a hammer. I'm awake many hours before my body allows me to get up. I'm smiling all the time because I can't hear a ... Read more

S.O.S.

Thursday, February 14, 2013      14 comments

New definition for S.O.S. THERE IS A MORAL HERE! A C-130 was lumbering along when a cocky F-16 flashed by. The jet jockey decided to show off. The fighter jock told the C-130 pilot, "Watch this!" and promptly went into a barrel r... Read more

My Son.......the Veterinarian

Wednesday, February 13, 2013      14 comments

One Sunday, in counting the money in the weekly offering, the Pastor of a small church found a pink envelope containing $1,000. It happened again the next week! The following Sunday, he watched as the offering was collected and saw an elde... Read more

A Seat In Church

Tuesday, February 12, 2013      13 comments

A few minutes before the church services started, the congregation was sitting in their pews and talking. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling eac... Read more

Catholic Lipstick

Monday, February 11, 2013      15 comments

According to a news report, a certain private Catholic school was recently faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine provided it was of a natura... Read more


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