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PATRICIAANN46
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PATRICIAANN46's Blogs

Elmo
Wednesday, November 14, 2012      14 comments

There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms. Well, Lena is hired at the Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 AM. T... Read more
Questions That Haunt Me.......
Tuesday, November 13, 2012      13 comments

QUESTIONS THAT HAUNT ME (and they all make sense!)..... 1. Can you cry under water? 2. How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? 3. Once you're in heaven, do you ge... Read more
Turkey Hunting
Monday, November 12, 2012      14 comments

One of my husband's hunting buddies sent this to him yesterday. It sounds like something only he would do........ Shot my first turkey yesterday. Scared the s_ _ _ outta everyone in the frozen food section. It was awesome! Getting old i... Read more
12 Wonderful Commandments
Sunday, November 11, 2012      14 comments

Life Is Not Waiting For The Storm To Pass, It Is Learning To Dance In The Rain. 1. Make up your mind to be happy. Learn to find pleasure in simple things. 2. Make the best of your circumstances. No one has everything, and everyone ... Read more
A Nun Grading Papers
Saturday, November 10, 2012      10 comments

Can you imagine the nun sitting at her desk grading these papers, all the while trying to keep a straight face and maintain her composure?!? Pay special attention to the wording and spelling. If you know the Bible even a little, you'll find... Read more
Car Keys
Friday, November 09, 2012      14 comments

Several days ago as I left a meeting at a hotel; I desperately gave myself a personal TSA pat down. I was looking for my keys. They were not in my pockets. A quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing. Suddenly, I realized I m... Read more
Irish Diet
Thursday, November 08, 2012      13 comments

An Irishman was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at least 5 pounds." W... Read more
Urgent Warning
Wednesday, November 07, 2012      14 comments

Urgent Warning For Tomorrow Aliens are coming to Earth tomorrow. Their mission is to abduct all sexy, good looking "Old" people. I'm just writing to you to say Goodbye. I've got to go and pack. Yeah Right!!!!! I'll still be... Read more
Walk With Me As I Age
Tuesday, November 06, 2012      16 comments

I hope this poem has the same effect on you as it did on me. Walk With Me By The Water........worth the read....... A Beautiful Poem About Growing Older: S_ _ _!!! I forgot the words.... Read more
Funny!!!
Monday, November 05, 2012      9 comments

A Retiree's Last Trip To Piggly Wiggly Yesterday I was at my local Piggly Wiggly buying a large bag of Purina Dog Chow for my loyal pet, Jake, the Wonder Dog, and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What ... Read more
Ladies, I Thought You Would Enjoy This!!!
Sunday, November 04, 2012      15 comments

A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after work cocktail with her girlfriends when Steven, a tall, exceptionally handsome, extremely sexy, middle-aged man entered. He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes off him. This... Read more
It Could Happen To Any Of Us.......
Saturday, November 03, 2012      23 comments

$5.37!!! That's what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bell said to me. I dug into my pocket and pulled out some lint and two dimes and something that used to be a Jolly Rancher. Having already handed the kid a five-spot, I started to head b... Read more
The Ostrich
Friday, November 02, 2012      12 comments

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders. The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?" "I'll have the same," says the ostrich. A... Read more
Cute and Oh So True.......
Thursday, November 01, 2012      12 comments

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very dif... Read more
Who's The Dummy?????
Wednesday, October 31, 2012      13 comments

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and, one night, he's doing a show in a small town. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes. Suddenly, a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and s... Read more

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