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    PATRICIAANN46   331,615
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Girl Wisdom

Wednesday, August 22, 2012      7 comments

1. A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control pills......She has 14 kids but she doesn't really care. 2. One of life's mysteries is how a 2-pound box of chocolates can make a woman gain 5 pounds. 3. My mind not only... Read more

Words Of Wisdom

Tuesday, August 21, 2012      10 comments

1. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully. 2. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other. 3. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have... Read more

In Honor Of Erma Bombeck

Monday, August 20, 2012      12 comments

If I Had My Life To Live Over by Erma Bombeck (written after she found out she was dying from cancer) I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.... Read more

Good News and Bad News

Sunday, August 19, 2012      11 comments

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they HAVE. Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, R... Read more

Goat For Dinner

Saturday, August 18, 2012      14 comments

The young couple invited their elderly pastor for Sunday dinner. While they were in the kitchen preparing the meal, the minister asked their son what they were having. "Goat," the little boy replied. "Goat?" replied the startled man o... Read more

The Best Way To Pray

Friday, August 17, 2012      11 comments

A priest, a minister and a guru sat discussing the best positions for prayer, while a telephone repairman worked nearby. "Kneeling is definitely the best way to pray," the priest said. "No," said the minister. "I get the best results ... Read more

4TH Marriage

Thursday, August 16, 2012      15 comments

The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new ... Read more

The Usher

Wednesday, August 15, 2012      11 comments

An elderly woman walked into the local country church. The friendly usher greeted her at the door and helped her up the flight of steps. "Where would you like to sit?" he asked politely. "The first row, please," she answered. "Y... Read more

The Night Nurse

Tuesday, August 14, 2012      13 comments

A very tired nurse walks into a bank, totally exhausted after an 18-hour shift. Preparing to write a check, she pulls a rectal thermometer out of her purse and tries to write with it. When she realizes her mistake, she looks at the flabbergast... Read more

Three Ladies In A Sauna

Monday, August 13, 2012      14 comments

I am sure that you have probably already read this as it is old, but I needed a laugh tonight and this spunky little lady does it for me every time. Enjoy!!! Three women, two younger, and one senior citizen, were sitting naked in a sauna. ... Read more

The Picnic

Sunday, August 12, 2012      10 comments

A Jewish Rabbi and a Catholic Priest met at the town's annual 4th of July picnic. Old friends, they began their usual banter. "This baked ham is really delicious," the Priest teased the Rabbi. "You really ought to try it. I know it's aga... Read more

Why Go To Church?

Saturday, August 11, 2012      9 comments

One Sunday morning, a mother went in to wake her son and tell him it was time to get ready for church, to which he replied, "I'm not going." "Why not?" she asked. "I'll give you two good reasons," he said. "(1), they don't like me, ... Read more

10 Ways To Sharpen Your Senses

Friday, August 10, 2012      9 comments

1. Breathe in warm, moist air before eating. Taste is about 75% smell, so clearing your nasal passages will enhance flavors. 2. Alternate foods with each bite. It will keep your palate "awake" and make each mouthful distinct and interes... Read more

The Old Telephone On The Wall

Thursday, August 09, 2012      13 comments

You may have already read this, however, it is worth reading again, ENJOY!!!!! Sometimes one never knows what they mean to someone else with only a few kind, simple words. When I was a young boy, my father had one of the first telephones i... Read more

Don't Mess With Old People

Wednesday, August 08, 2012      11 comments

Harold was an old man. He was sick and in the hospital. There was one nurse that just drove him crazy. Everytime she came in, she would talk to him like he was a little child. She would say in a patronizing tone of voice, "And how are we doi... Read more


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