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    PATRICIAANN46   301,373
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Good News and Bad News

Sunday, August 19, 2012      11 comments

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they HAVE. Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, R... Read more

Goat For Dinner

Saturday, August 18, 2012      14 comments

The young couple invited their elderly pastor for Sunday dinner. While they were in the kitchen preparing the meal, the minister asked their son what they were having. "Goat," the little boy replied. "Goat?" replied the startled man o... Read more

The Best Way To Pray

Friday, August 17, 2012      11 comments

A priest, a minister and a guru sat discussing the best positions for prayer, while a telephone repairman worked nearby. "Kneeling is definitely the best way to pray," the priest said. "No," said the minister. "I get the best results ... Read more

4TH Marriage

Thursday, August 16, 2012      15 comments

The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new ... Read more

The Usher

Wednesday, August 15, 2012      11 comments

An elderly woman walked into the local country church. The friendly usher greeted her at the door and helped her up the flight of steps. "Where would you like to sit?" he asked politely. "The first row, please," she answered. "Y... Read more

The Night Nurse

Tuesday, August 14, 2012      13 comments

A very tired nurse walks into a bank, totally exhausted after an 18-hour shift. Preparing to write a check, she pulls a rectal thermometer out of her purse and tries to write with it. When she realizes her mistake, she looks at the flabbergast... Read more

Three Ladies In A Sauna

Monday, August 13, 2012      14 comments

I am sure that you have probably already read this as it is old, but I needed a laugh tonight and this spunky little lady does it for me every time. Enjoy!!! Three women, two younger, and one senior citizen, were sitting naked in a sauna. ... Read more

The Picnic

Sunday, August 12, 2012      10 comments

A Jewish Rabbi and a Catholic Priest met at the town's annual 4th of July picnic. Old friends, they began their usual banter. "This baked ham is really delicious," the Priest teased the Rabbi. "You really ought to try it. I know it's aga... Read more

Why Go To Church?

Saturday, August 11, 2012      9 comments

One Sunday morning, a mother went in to wake her son and tell him it was time to get ready for church, to which he replied, "I'm not going." "Why not?" she asked. "I'll give you two good reasons," he said. "(1), they don't like me, ... Read more

10 Ways To Sharpen Your Senses

Friday, August 10, 2012      9 comments

1. Breathe in warm, moist air before eating. Taste is about 75% smell, so clearing your nasal passages will enhance flavors. 2. Alternate foods with each bite. It will keep your palate "awake" and make each mouthful distinct and interes... Read more

The Old Telephone On The Wall

Thursday, August 09, 2012      13 comments

You may have already read this, however, it is worth reading again, ENJOY!!!!! Sometimes one never knows what they mean to someone else with only a few kind, simple words. When I was a young boy, my father had one of the first telephones i... Read more

Don't Mess With Old People

Wednesday, August 08, 2012      11 comments

Harold was an old man. He was sick and in the hospital. There was one nurse that just drove him crazy. Everytime she came in, she would talk to him like he was a little child. She would say in a patronizing tone of voice, "And how are we doi... Read more

Italian Honeymoon

Tuesday, August 07, 2012      13 comments

Olda Joke, It'sa still funny........ After returning from his honeymoon in Florida with his new bride, Virginia, Luigi stopped by his old barbershop in Jersey to say hello to his friends. Giovanni said, "Hey Luigi, how wasa da treep?" ... Read more

The Road Trip

Monday, August 06, 2012      14 comments

While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant, and resumed their trip. When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table, an... Read more

Birds Don't Lie

Sunday, August 05, 2012      9 comments

A woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot. There was a sign on the cage that said $20.00. "Why so little?" she asked the pet store owner. The owner looked at her and said, "Look, I should tell ... Read more

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