The Old Telephone On The Wall
You may have already read this, however, it is worth reading again, ENJOY!!!!! Sometimes one never knows what they mean to someone else with only a few kind, simple words.
When I was a young boy, my father had one of the first telephones i... Read more
Don't Mess With Old People
Harold was an old man. He was sick and in the hospital. There was one nurse that just drove him crazy. Everytime she came in, she would talk to him like he was a little child. She would say in a patronizing tone of voice, "And how are we doi... Read more
Olda Joke, It'sa still funny........
After returning from his honeymoon in Florida with his new bride, Virginia, Luigi stopped by his old barbershop in Jersey to say hello to his friends.
Giovanni said, "Hey Luigi, how wasa da treep?" ... Read more
The Road Trip
While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant, and resumed their trip.
When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table, an... Read more
Birds Don't Lie
A woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot.
There was a sign on the cage that said $20.00.
"Why so little?" she asked the pet store owner.
The owner looked at her and said, "Look, I should tell ... Read more
Note On The Fridge
The wife left me a note on the fridge: "It's not working. I can't take it anymore. Gone to stay at my Mother's."
I opened the fridge. The light came on and the beer was cold. I have no idea what in the h_ _ _ she was talking about........ Read more
Children Are Quick
TEACHER: Why are you late?
STUDENT: Class started before I got here.
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
STUDENT: You told me to do it without using tables.
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell ... Read more
Humour From Both Sides Of The "Pond"
These are classified ads, which were actually placed in U.K. Newspapers:
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER
8 years old,
Hateful little so-and-so.
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.
Mothe... Read more
"Danielle keeps repeating it over and over again. We've been back to this animal shelter at least five times. It has been weeks now since we started all of this," the mother told the volunteer.
"What is it she keeps asking for?" the volun... Read more
No Sunday Paper
This is dedicated to all of us who ARE Seniors, to all of you who KNOW Seniors, and to all of you who will BECOME seniors.
"Where is my Sunday Paper?!?!"
The irate customer calling the newspaper office, loudly demanded to know where her S... Read more
Smile For The Day
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it.)
If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energ... Read more
A Gift Certificate
A HUG Certificate for You!!!!!
If I could catch a rainbow
I would do it just for you
And share with you its beauty
On the days you're feeling blue.
If I could build a mountain
You could call your very own;
A place to find ser... Read more
Advice For An Old Guy.......
I was working out in the gym when I spotted a sweet young thing.......
I asked the trainer that was near-by, "What machine should I use to impress that sweet thing over there?"
The trainer looked me up and down and said, "Try the ATM i... Read more
A Problem-Solving Method That Works
A Kansas farm wife called the local phone company to report her telephone failed to ring when her friends called---and that on the few occasions, when it did ring, her dog always moaned right before the phone rang.
The telephone repairman p... Read more
Please Heed This Warning.......
DOOR LOCK HOLE---WHAT WILL THEY THINK OF NEXT?????
Hole Under Door Lock
A victim wrote: Wednesday, I approached my truck from the passenger side to place my computer bag in the front passenger seat. As I reached to open the door I notic... Read more
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