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    PATRICIAANN46   281,809
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The Old Telephone On The Wall

Thursday, August 09, 2012      13 comments

You may have already read this, however, it is worth reading again, ENJOY!!!!! Sometimes one never knows what they mean to someone else with only a few kind, simple words. When I was a young boy, my father had one of the first telephones i... Read more

Don't Mess With Old People

Wednesday, August 08, 2012      11 comments

Harold was an old man. He was sick and in the hospital. There was one nurse that just drove him crazy. Everytime she came in, she would talk to him like he was a little child. She would say in a patronizing tone of voice, "And how are we doi... Read more

Italian Honeymoon

Tuesday, August 07, 2012      13 comments

Olda Joke, It'sa still funny........ After returning from his honeymoon in Florida with his new bride, Virginia, Luigi stopped by his old barbershop in Jersey to say hello to his friends. Giovanni said, "Hey Luigi, how wasa da treep?" ... Read more

The Road Trip

Monday, August 06, 2012      14 comments

While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant, and resumed their trip. When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table, an... Read more

Birds Don't Lie

Sunday, August 05, 2012      9 comments

A woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot. There was a sign on the cage that said $20.00. "Why so little?" she asked the pet store owner. The owner looked at her and said, "Look, I should tell ... Read more

Note On The Fridge

Saturday, August 04, 2012      12 comments

The wife left me a note on the fridge: "It's not working. I can't take it anymore. Gone to stay at my Mother's." I opened the fridge. The light came on and the beer was cold. I have no idea what in the h_ _ _ she was talking about........ Read more

Children Are Quick

Friday, August 03, 2012      14 comments

TEACHER: Why are you late? STUDENT: Class started before I got here. TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? STUDENT: You told me to do it without using tables. TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell ... Read more

Humour From Both Sides Of The "Pond"

Thursday, August 02, 2012      14 comments

These are classified ads, which were actually placed in U.K. Newspapers: FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER 8 years old, Hateful little so-and-so. Bites! FREE PUPPIES 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog. FREE PUPPIES Mothe... Read more

Puppy Size

Wednesday, August 01, 2012      12 comments

"Danielle keeps repeating it over and over again. We've been back to this animal shelter at least five times. It has been weeks now since we started all of this," the mother told the volunteer. "What is it she keeps asking for?" the volun... Read more

No Sunday Paper

Tuesday, July 31, 2012      10 comments

This is dedicated to all of us who ARE Seniors, to all of you who KNOW Seniors, and to all of you who will BECOME seniors. "Where is my Sunday Paper?!?!" The irate customer calling the newspaper office, loudly demanded to know where her S... Read more

Smile For The Day

Monday, July 30, 2012      14 comments

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it.) If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energ... Read more

A Gift Certificate

Sunday, July 29, 2012      8 comments

A HUG Certificate for You!!!!! If I could catch a rainbow I would do it just for you And share with you its beauty On the days you're feeling blue. If I could build a mountain You could call your very own; A place to find ser... Read more

Advice For An Old Guy.......

Saturday, July 28, 2012      11 comments

I was working out in the gym when I spotted a sweet young thing....... I asked the trainer that was near-by, "What machine should I use to impress that sweet thing over there?" The trainer looked me up and down and said, "Try the ATM i... Read more

A Problem-Solving Method That Works

Friday, July 27, 2012      13 comments

A Kansas farm wife called the local phone company to report her telephone failed to ring when her friends called---and that on the few occasions, when it did ring, her dog always moaned right before the phone rang. The telephone repairman p... Read more

Please Heed This Warning.......

Thursday, July 26, 2012      19 comments

DOOR LOCK HOLE---WHAT WILL THEY THINK OF NEXT????? Hole Under Door Lock A victim wrote: Wednesday, I approached my truck from the passenger side to place my computer bag in the front passenger seat. As I reached to open the door I notic... Read more

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