More Church Humor
An elderly woman walked into the local country church. The friendly usher greeted her at the door and helped her up the flight of steps.
"Where would you like to sit?" he asked politely.
"The front row, please." she answered.... Read more
When I was younger, I weighed a few pounds less. I didn't need to hold in my stomach when I wore a tight dress.
But now that I am older, my body has liberated itself. There is a sense of "elastic comfort" where my waistline used to be.
... Read more
Dee and Angie, two "Senior" widows, are talking.
Dee: "That nice George Johnson asked me out for a date. I know you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him before I give him my answer."
Angie: "Well, I'l... Read more
Dear Abby admitted she was at a loss to answer the following letters:
A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her mid twenties. These two women ... Read more
A 92 year-old, petite, well-poised and proud man, who is fully dressed each morning by eight o'clock, with his hair fashionably combed and shaved perfectly, even though he is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today.
His wife of 70 year... Read more
OMG...........I Cried, I Was Laughing So Hard!
All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal: The Epilady, Scissors, Razors, Nair, and now........the Wax.
My night began as any other normal weeknight.
Come home, fix dinner, play with the kid... Read more
Church Ladies With Typewriters
They're Back!!! Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:
The Fasting and Prayer Co... Read more
Why Go To Church?
One Sunday morning, a mother went in to wake her son and tell him it was time to get ready for church, to which he replied, "I'm not going."
"Why not?" she asked.
"I'll give you two good reasons," he said. "(1). T... Read more
Grandmas Don't Know Everything
Tony was 9 years old and was staying with his grandmother for a few days.
He'd been playing outside with the other kids when he came into the house and asked her, "Grandma, what's that called when two people sleep in the same bedroom and on... Read more
PIGS..............(I Love This)
A farmer had five female pigs. Times were hard, so he decided to take them to the county fair and sell them. At the fair, he met another farmer who owned five male pigs. After talking a bit, they decided to mate the pigs and split everything ... Read more
A Short Love Story......
A man and a woman who had never met before, but who were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a Trans-continental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both... Read more
The Positive Side Of Life
Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun every year.
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.
Birthdays are good for you; the more you have, the longer you live.
... Read more
If My Body Was A Car
If my body was a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model. I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull...... But that's not the worst of it.
My headl... Read more
There's a reason you hide personal items from small children instead of sharing them.....LOL!!!
We had this great 10 year old cat named Jack who just recently died. Jack was a great cat and the kids would carry him around an... Read more
My Best Mother's Day Ever........
I love to be invited out to eat!!!!! My career was teaching Family and Consumer Education. One of the classes I taught was Nutrition and Food Preparation. But........I have to admit that I have NEVER really been crazy about cooking. I like t... Read more
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