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Jane and Arlene
Jane and Arlene are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.
What in the heck is that?
Jane... Read more
The Cleaning Poem For Spring!!!
This explains a lot for me. No wonder, I can't ever get caught up with my Spring cleaning......(or any other time of the year for that matter).
THE CLEANING POEM
I asked the Lord to tell me
Why my house is such a mess.
He asked if... Read more
The Arrogance Of Authority
A DEA officer stopped at a ranch in Texas, and talked with an old rancher.
He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs."
The rancher said, "Okay, but don't go in that field over there.....", as he point... Read more
A Recent Study
A recent study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year.
Another study found that Americans drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year.
That means that, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon!!!... Read more
Nuns At A Yankee Game!!!
Three Nuns were attending a Yankee Baseball Game.
Three men were sitting directly behind them. Because their habits were partially blocking the view, the men decided to badger the Nuns hoping that they'd get annoyed enough to move to anoth... Read more
Why I Am Now Divorced
Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning.
I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my husband would be pleasant and say, "Happy Birthday!", and possibly have a small present for me.
As it turned out... Read more
I Say This To Myself Every Morning......
May today there be peace within.
May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others.
May you use the gifts that you have receiv... Read more
Maybe because of my age...........this is one of my all-time favorites.
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.
"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to t... Read more
The Preacher And The Lawn Mower......
A preacher was making his rounds on a bicycle, when he came upon a little boy trying to sell a lawn mower. "How much do you want for the mower?" asked the preacher.
"I just want enough money to go out and buy me a bicycle." said the little... Read more
My Living Will........
A friend sent this to me today, and even though I have read it before, it still makes me laugh..........maybe because I can see my own kids doing the very same thing!!!
Last night, my kids and I were sitting in the living room and I said to... Read more
A Lady opened her refrigerator and saw a rabbit sitting on one of the shelves.
"What are you doing in there?" she asked.
The rabbit replied:
"This is a Westinghouse, isn't it?"
To which the lady replied, "Yes."
"Well," the rabbit sai... Read more
All I Need To Know I Learned From The Easter Bunny!
Don't put all your eggs in one basket.
Everyone needs a friend who is all ears.
There's no such thing as too much candy.
All work and no play can make you a basket case.
A cute tail attracts a lot of attention.
Everyone is entitled to ... Read more
How To Stop Church Gossip.........
Mildred, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business.
Several members did not approve of her extra-curricular activities, but feared her enough to maintain their ... Read more
Why I Still Call Him Honey........
An elderly lady was invited to an old friend's home for dinner one evening. She was impressed by the way her lady friend preceded every request to her husband with endearing terms such as: Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, etc.
The coup... Read more
The Easter Bunny Is Dead!!!
This is old, but it still makes me smile and I hope that it will you too.
A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the middle of the road.
He swerves to avoid hitting it, but unfortunately the rabbit jumps rig... Read more
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