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    PATRICIAANN46   289,974
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Jane and Arlene

Wednesday, May 04, 2011      9 comments

Jane and Arlene are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking. Arlene: What in the heck is that? Jane... Read more

The Cleaning Poem For Spring!!!

Tuesday, May 03, 2011      10 comments

This explains a lot for me. No wonder, I can't ever get caught up with my Spring cleaning......(or any other time of the year for that matter). THE CLEANING POEM I asked the Lord to tell me Why my house is such a mess. He asked if... Read more

The Arrogance Of Authority

Monday, May 02, 2011      7 comments

A DEA officer stopped at a ranch in Texas, and talked with an old rancher. He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs." The rancher said, "Okay, but don't go in that field over there.....", as he point... Read more

A Recent Study

Sunday, May 01, 2011      4 comments

A recent study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found that Americans drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year. That means that, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon!!!... Read more

Nuns At A Yankee Game!!!

Saturday, April 30, 2011      9 comments

Three Nuns were attending a Yankee Baseball Game. Three men were sitting directly behind them. Because their habits were partially blocking the view, the men decided to badger the Nuns hoping that they'd get annoyed enough to move to anoth... Read more

Why I Am Now Divorced

Friday, April 29, 2011      19 comments

Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my husband would be pleasant and say, "Happy Birthday!", and possibly have a small present for me. As it turned out... Read more

I Say This To Myself Every Morning......

Thursday, April 28, 2011      6 comments

May today there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have receiv... Read more

FROG

Wednesday, April 27, 2011      9 comments

Maybe because of my age...........this is one of my all-time favorites. A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack. "Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to t... Read more

The Preacher And The Lawn Mower......

Tuesday, April 26, 2011      12 comments

A preacher was making his rounds on a bicycle, when he came upon a little boy trying to sell a lawn mower. "How much do you want for the mower?" asked the preacher. "I just want enough money to go out and buy me a bicycle." said the little... Read more

My Living Will........

Monday, April 25, 2011      11 comments

A friend sent this to me today, and even though I have read it before, it still makes me laugh..........maybe because I can see my own kids doing the very same thing!!! Last night, my kids and I were sitting in the living room and I said to... Read more

Happy Easter......

Sunday, April 24, 2011      6 comments

A Lady opened her refrigerator and saw a rabbit sitting on one of the shelves. "What are you doing in there?" she asked. The rabbit replied: "This is a Westinghouse, isn't it?" To which the lady replied, "Yes." "Well," the rabbit sai... Read more

All I Need To Know I Learned From The Easter Bunny!

Saturday, April 23, 2011      5 comments

Don't put all your eggs in one basket. Everyone needs a friend who is all ears. There's no such thing as too much candy. All work and no play can make you a basket case. A cute tail attracts a lot of attention. Everyone is entitled to ... Read more

How To Stop Church Gossip.........

Friday, April 22, 2011      8 comments

Mildred, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business. Several members did not approve of her extra-curricular activities, but feared her enough to maintain their ... Read more

Why I Still Call Him Honey........

Thursday, April 21, 2011      41 comments

An elderly lady was invited to an old friend's home for dinner one evening. She was impressed by the way her lady friend preceded every request to her husband with endearing terms such as: Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, etc. The coup... Read more

The Easter Bunny Is Dead!!!

Wednesday, April 20, 2011      15 comments

This is old, but it still makes me smile and I hope that it will you too. A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the middle of the road. He swerves to avoid hitting it, but unfortunately the rabbit jumps rig... Read more


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