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Relapse Last Night!
Had a compulsive eating relapse last night. Had an awesome day, all day long had complete control of eating. Then right before bed, it hit me - EAT! That stupid voice - EAT! Can't say why. I wasn't hungry - wasn't upset - wasn't worried abo... Read more
So Excited and Pleased
I always worry that when I write stuff to my kids, that they'll feel pushed or nagged or "guilted" and I don't ever want that to happen. But today when my son got home from work, he had bought himself a new shirt and pants for working out! We s... Read more
From My Heart
This is a letter I wrote to my son today:
Do not be afraid of going slowly; be afraid only of standing still. ~ Chinese Proverb
I saw this quote and thought of you. I know you get really tired of me "nagging" you to join me in a journ... Read more
Had a great day today. I realize every time I'm good to myself, all the issues that seem to be SO HUGE and keep me depressed and isolated just melt away.
Started the day cooking a spark recipe breakfast casserole. Then went swimming wit... Read more
Working for the Weekend!
I'ts Friday! I'm very excited about the weekend - and NOT because I can get away from people, go home, get on the computer, eat and zone out. That used to be what I looked forward to - but not any more! (I know it's only been a few days since... Read more
Phone a Friend?
Tough night last night because my little brother (who has Stage IV cancer) was readmitted to the hospital. I realized that even in a situation like that, I have trouble just crying and letting stuff out. Stupid! I wanted to eat - and I did. ... Read more
Living My Life
Yesterday and today were both great days! I love my new therapist and I'll write more later about our focus. I have scheduled a second appointment and I'M GOING TO KEEP IT. Yesterday, I belly danced and today I swam. I talked to friends, spe... Read more
A New Beginning... No, Really.
Tomorrow will mark a new beginning for me. It's not your normal "new beginning" where you know you failed in the past and now you're starting over - with the same goals, the same dream of being something that you think you are not now, that "ne... Read more
I read this today from one of the Spark people articles:
A fragment of a poem by Ralph Waldo Emerson is telling:
"Finish each day
And be done with it.
You have done what you could.
Some blunders and
Absurdities have crept in.
... Read more
DAY 53: Still Making Changes
I'm still "struggling" but I am not so worried about it now. Because I want these changes to be life long, it is going to take a while to truly incorporate lasting changes that become habits. So I'm focusing on the positive changes and still "... Read more
DAY 50: What Do I Fear?
I have a wonderful friend who had the weight loss surgery about a year ago and is working on keeping a healthy lifestyle. She works in my building and I just interviewed for a position on her team - so we'd really be able to support each other!... Read more
DAY 49: Persistence!
So yesterday I did great all day - ate right, did my sparky stuff, went to the gym, cooked and ate a healthy dinner - until RIGHT before bed. Then I HAD to eat the vanilla pudding that was in the frig. Can't explain it any better than that - I... Read more
DAY 48: I'm Still Here and That's All That Matters!!
I'm not going to dwell on the past - but you know I'm still struggling because I haven't been blogging. BUT I'M STILL HERE which is half the battle. I have my gym bag in the car and I've started out today doing very well - that's all that matt... Read more
Day 39: Really Struggling!
Well, just getting on here answered my big question: Why am I struggling so much? Well, it's been 7 days since I blogged - DUH!! How many times do you have to remind yourself that you HAVE to work the plan every minute, every hour, every DAY.... Read more
Day 32: I'm a Frog!!!
"A frog, hopping around the farm, minding his own business, fell right into a pail half-filled with cream. Swimming frantically, he found the sides too steep and too high. Determined not to give up, he continued to struggle. He kicked and squirm... Read more