Guests for Dinner
Last night we had some new neighbors over for dinner. They had moved in a few days ago and I hadnt had a chance to go visit them, plus im not an incredibly social person because people dont usually like me....so i isolate. I used to think people... Read more
Making a Choice, Making some progress
Yesterday (Sat), was super busy with our yard sale in the morning. It was a hard one for me because the last of our baby stuff was out there to be sold. I know i dont want more kids, so why am I hanging on to this stuff....some of it i understan... Read more
Mothers Day Anxiety
So theres no reason to lie, I make pretty much every event about food. In fact when i recall some of my fondest memories/events Food is among one of the first things i remember. With Mothers day fast approaching, I had "thought ahead" and had my... Read more
That was close!
So last night I was trying to decide whether to sit on the couch and play on my laptop (like i am now) or sit at the home computer in the offie. I was standing at the bottom of the stairs facing my living room looking at my husband and I saw tha... Read more
I dont know if i should call them bahavior issues, personality flaws, character defects or something else, but lately it seems like when im trying to work on one part of my life (like avoiding a binge eating episode) another issue pops up. I don... Read more
Its the little things
I know better. But every morning after i eat my oatmeal/greek yogurt I run my finger along the bowl and lick every last bit. Why, because thats my food, I get 4 oz of yogurt and im not going to leave any behind.
At lunch/dinner standing ma... Read more
Dont tell me unlimited....
OK so getting used to this new program (which i love by the way) is taking some adjusting. I was prepared for the weekend but when we left the house i lost track of time and failed to eat at the 3 hour intervals i am scheduled to. The result? St... Read more
I love learing about myself! I feel like im getting more in tune with what motivates me to succeed, and when i give myself permission to fail.
-I am motivated to succeed when i have a clear goal in mind. I cant just say i want to be health... Read more
Fear, Doubt and Insecurity
These are the big 3. These are the 3 things that get in my way; they stop me from success, progress, and personal growth. My new attitude and change in program (food and exercise) have brought these old demons raging to the surface today. Wheni ... Read more
The definition of insanity
Ive always heard that the definition of insanity was "to keep doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result." I have not looked it up to be sure, but that sounds about right to me.
So I am in a rut. A rut of the mind,... Read more
Why am i in such a hurry?
I spend my day rushing.
Hurry up and wake up so i can have time just for myself.
Hurry up and drink your water so you can have your coffee.
Glup, glup, hurry up and finish your first cup so you can get to your next cup.
Watch a sho... Read more
I am so mad at myself!
Any normal person would be upset with them selves for eating such junk on Sunday, but i am no normal person. Yes, Im upset i had a binge, im not stupid. But dammit, just the day before I passed up Krispy Kreme donuts! I could have had that also.... Read more
A Break up Letter
Im sorry it has to be this way, but it's over. Last night was supposed to be like old times, but it was just misery. We used to be so good together, or so i thought but you consumed my every thought and emotion. Everywhere I turn there you are, ... Read more
The Anatomy of a Binge
For me it begins and ends in my mind with a comment. I was at an old workplace yesterday and an old coworker who knew me fat said to me "You are soooo thin! You look great." Of course her word so had like 85 o's in it, thats how pronounced the w... Read more
Let the Games begin
The Scale Dance began yesterday afternoon, and continued this morning. It was both less than i was and more than i wanted. Not enough to depress me, but not small enough to provide me the admission ticket into the food circus my devil so desired... Read more