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Sooooo, this was my morning...
I dreamt - not usual, I dream every night - I dreamt I was walking down our main street brushing everyone's hair with our new cat brush (we'll get back to that later). Then I was driving with DH, taking movies back to Blockbuster Video... that'... Read more
The Isak Dinesen Cure
"The cure for anything is saltwater: sweat, tears, or the sea." - Isak Dinesen
It's a beautiful, balmy, sunny Sunday morning in Southern California, and I'm outside catching some rays for a dose of Vitamin D... and to be alone, to regroup ... Read more
Hi Scott ~ It's the Super Bowl again
You've been on my mind a LOT lately, even more than usual. It's hard NOT to think of you when it's time for the Super Bowl. That's because your party in 2008 was the last time I saw you, heard your laugh, got to hug you and say "... Read more
Super Bowl Sunday - Letter to Scott
Hi Scott... it's going to be Super Bowl Sunday again. I can't believe it will be three years since I last saw you! I remember every minute of that day: you BBQing pla... Read more
Countdown to Palm Springs
This is my countdown week to me going away from home for a week alone: I rented a small studio-size condo in a Palm Springs resort complex with a huge pool/spa area, and will take time for a "personal retreat." Although I'll miss DH and Kaile,... Read more
Another Step on My Spark Journey
I wrote the following in my journal yesterday morning, figuring it out in my head as I typed. Because my feelings were so intense, I wanted to do more with it; perhaps post an edited-down version on some of my teams' threads. I decided to "Blo... Read more
Celebrating Scott's Life 2010
I'm not sure exactly what I'm going to write today, but I know I want to acknowledge the second anniversary of my son's death. First of all, to my many Spark friends & teammates, thank you for your caring & support!
When Scott was killed t... Read more
Another Senseless Death...
I havenít posted a blog in a long time Ė itís not really my thing Ė but I feel compelled to write, and I want to share what has happened.
I am overwhelmed by my emotions. Iím stunned, angry, devastated, and confused. It's been a few days,... Read more
Scott's Special Days 2009
It's been a long time since I've posted a blog; I've "written" several in my mind, but couldn't get my thoughts down on-screen. However, Friday, February 27th - the first anniversary of Scott's death - is approaching fast. It will be a tough d... Read more
We're going to a party...
Tonight is the big party my stepdaughter has been planning to celebrate her dad's (my DH's) 60th and her grandmother's (my MIL's) 80th birthdays.
It's turned into a family reunion, with people flying and driving in from all over to attend.... Read more
Slowly working on getting it together
The last month-plus has been a roller coaster of ups and downs. After an especially rough grief counseling session, I crashed and burned... I stayed down and out for a full week, completely off-line and self-isolated.
Then, somehow I ma... Read more
A Realization - A New Start with Hope
I had a realization. This is probably a big "DUH", but it took this long for me to truly understand it. I've been floundering for several weeks, both emotionally and physically. I've been binging for at least three weeks, turning to food for ... Read more
A Memorial to my son Scott
Please take a look at the Memorial DVD I created for Scott's funeral. It was difficult to do, but is a good remembrance. I watch with Kaile to help her remember her beloved Uncle Scott. He's in her life, in all our lives, even now.
You c... Read more
One Year Spark Anniversary
One year ago I finally had the courage to take a look at Sparkpeople.com and committed to truly trying to change my way of living. So much HAS changed since April 2007...
This past year brought learning about Spark and making baby steps t... Read more
Information about my son Scott
(this photo is Scott walking his lil' sis Aubrey down the aisle)
I was able to talk to the neighbors who witnessed my son Scott's death. They said he seemed to lose consciousness BEFORE he fell, rather than slipping as reported. They said... Read more