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What they said.......
I feel your pain.....no one wants to run with me, either.
We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving t... Read more
It's not whether you win or lose,
but how you place the blame.
You are not drunk
if you can lie on the floor
without holding on.
... Read more
A couple went for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and ordered the 'Chicken
The waiter brought the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot.
Just as the wife was about to serve herself, the lid of the ... Read more
Government Investigates Rancher!!!
The Montana Department of Employment, Division of Labor Standards claimed
a small rancher was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to
GOV’T AGENT: “I need a list of your employe... Read more
Nun at the Airport!!!
A NUN WAS SITTING AT THE VICTORIA AIRPORT , WAITING FOR HER FLIGHT TO CALGARY .
SHE LOOKED OVER IN THE CORNER AND SAW ONE OF THOSE WEIGHT MACHINES THAT TELLS YOUR FORTUNE AND THOUGHT TO HERSELF, 'I'LL GIVE IT A TRY AND SEE... Read more
I did not know this...
When you drink vodka over ice, it can give you kidney failure.
When you drink rum over ice, it can give you liver failure.
When you drink whiskey over ice, it can give you h... Read more
A woman tells her priest, "Father, I have a problem. My two female parrots only
say, "Hi, cutie, Wanna have some fun!"
Don't worry," says the priest. "I have two male parrots who only pray and read
the bible. We'l... Read more
1st Grade!!! These will make you smile!
A 1st grade school teacher had twenty-six students in her class. She presented each child in her classroom the 1st half of a well-known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It's hard to believe these were a... Read more
If you had purchased $1,000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00.
With Enron, you would have had $16.50 left of the original $1,000.00.
With WorldCom, you would have had less than $5.00 left.... Read more
Turpentine vs Holy Water!!!
A little boy was sitting on the footpath with a bottle of Turpentine... He was shaking it... Read more
Kids and Bible Study!!!
Some old, some new
LOT 'S WIFE
The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot 's wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little Jason interrupted, 'My Mommy looked back once while she... Read more
I got a new stick deodorant today.
The instructions said: Remove cap and push up bottom.
I can barely walk, but whenever I fart the room smells lovely.
~*~*~ ... Read more
The Used Car!
If you don't laugh at this one you need to lighten up!
It was a small town and the patrolman was making his evening rounds..
As he was checking... Read more
How To Start a Fight!!!!
My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?'
'No,' she answered. I then said,
'Is that your final answ... Read more
Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven.
At the Pearly Gates, they are met by St. Peter.
He says, 'Sisters, you all led such exemplary lives that the Lord is granting you
six months to go back to earth and be anyone you... Read more