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    MILLISMA   220,965
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What they said.......

Monday, November 14, 2011      16 comments

Dear Scissors, I feel your pain.....no one wants to run with me, either. Sincerely, Sarah Palin Dear Noah, We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving t... Read more

Truisms!!!!

Sunday, November 13, 2011      15 comments

It's not whether you win or lose, but how you place the blame. You are not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. ... Read more

Chicken Surprise!!!!

Saturday, November 12, 2011      12 comments

A couple went for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and ordered the 'Chicken Surprise', The waiter brought the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot. Just as the wife was about to serve herself, the lid of the ... Read more

Government Investigates Rancher!!!

Friday, November 11, 2011      14 comments

The Montana Department of Employment, Division of Labor Standards claimed a small rancher was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to investigate him. GOVT AGENT: I need a list of your employe... Read more

Nun at the Airport!!!

Thursday, November 10, 2011      19 comments

A NUN WAS SITTING AT THE VICTORIA AIRPORT , WAITING FOR HER FLIGHT TO CALGARY . SHE LOOKED OVER IN THE CORNER AND SAW ONE OF THOSE WEIGHT MACHINES THAT TELLS YOUR FORTUNE AND THOUGHT TO HERSELF, 'I'LL GIVE IT A TRY AND SEE... Read more

Warning!!!!

Wednesday, November 09, 2011      16 comments

I did not know this... When you drink vodka over ice, it can give you kidney failure. When you drink rum over ice, it can give you liver failure. When you drink whiskey over ice, it can give you h... Read more

The Parrots!!!

Tuesday, November 08, 2011      19 comments

A woman tells her priest, "Father, I have a problem. My two female parrots only say, "Hi, cutie, Wanna have some fun!" Don't worry," says the priest. "I have two male parrots who only pray and read the bible. We'l... Read more

1st Grade!!! These will make you smile!

Monday, November 07, 2011      22 comments

A 1st grade school teacher had twenty-six students in her class. She presented each child in her classroom the 1st half of a well-known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It's hard to believe these were a... Read more

Retirement Planning!!!!

Sunday, November 06, 2011      17 comments

If you had purchased $1,000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00. With Enron, you would have had $16.50 left of the original $1,000.00. With WorldCom, you would have had less than $5.00 left.... Read more

Turpentine vs Holy Water!!!

Saturday, November 05, 2011      17 comments

emoticon A little boy was sitting on the footpath with a bottle of Turpentine... He was shaking it... Read more

Kids and Bible Study!!!

Friday, November 04, 2011      11 comments

Some old, some new LOT 'S WIFE The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot 's wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little Jason interrupted, 'My Mommy looked back once while she... Read more

Deodorant!!!

Thursday, November 03, 2011      24 comments

I got a new stick deodorant today. The instructions said: Remove cap and push up bottom. I can barely walk, but whenever I fart the room smells lovely. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
~*~*~ Read more

The Used Car!

Wednesday, November 02, 2011      18 comments

If you don't laugh at this one you need to lighten up! It was a small town and the patrolman was making his evening rounds.. As he was checking... Read more

How To Start a Fight!!!!

Tuesday, November 01, 2011      21 comments

My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?' 'No,' she answered. I then said, 'Is that your final answ... Read more

Three Nuns!!!!

Monday, October 31, 2011      13 comments

Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, they are met by St. Peter. He says, 'Sisters, you all led such exemplary lives that the Lord is granting you six months to go back to earth and be anyone you... Read more


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