You know you are too old to Trick or Treat when:
10. You keep knocking on your own front door.
9. You remove your false teeth to change your appearance.
8. You ask for soft high fiber candy only.
7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag,
you lose your ba... Read more
This is good for a LAUGH or two. . .
Rely On Scripture
A woman had just returned to her home from an evening of church
services , when she was startled by an intruder.
She caught the man in the act of robbing ... Read more
This is something to think about when negative people
are doing their best to rain on your parade.
So remember this story the next time someone who knows nothing
and cares less tries to make your life miserable.
A woman ... Read more
To avoid it....
Make sure you get your daily dose of fruit and veggies.
Take your vitamins and bump up your vitamin C.
Get plenty of exercise because it builds your immune system.
Walk for... Read more
Father of the Year!!!
A man boarded a plane with six kids.
After they got settled in their seats a woman sitting across the aisle from him leaned over to him and asked, "Are all of those kids yours?"
He replied, "No, Ma'am, I work f... Read more
I love it............................
If you are a senior you will understand this one, if you deal with seniors, this should help you understand them a little better, and if you are not a senior yet...... Read more
CATHOLIC MORNING COFFEE IN ROME!!!!
Four Catholic Men and a lone Catholic Woman were having coffee in St. Peter's Square.
The First Catholic Man tells his Friends, "My Son is a Priest. When He walks into a Room, everyone calls Him, "Father."
The Second Cat... Read more
More Kids in Church!!!
3-year-old Reese :
'Our Father, Who does art in heaven,
Harold is His name.
A little boy was overheard praying:
'Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worr... Read more
SIMPLE TRUTH 1
Partners help each other undress before sex.
However after sex, they always dress on their own.
Moral of the story:
In life, no one helps you once you're screwed.
SIMPLE TRUTH 2
When a lady is pregnant, all... Read more
LENA and OLE!!!!
Lena is pregnant with Ole's child.
Late one night, Lena vakes up Ole and says, 'I tink it's time!'
So Ole fired up the Yohn Deere tractor and took her to the hospital to have their
She had a little boy, ... Read more
Why Some Men Have a Dog And No Wife:
1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.
2. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.
3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.
4. A dog's parents never v... Read more
Did I Read That Right?!?!?!
Did I read that sign right?
TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW
In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT
In a Memphis d... Read more
Not Just for Grandparents!!!!
How children perceive their grandparents
1. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes
of her young granddaughter, as she'd done many times before. After she applied her lipstick and started to l... Read more
Lexiphile (i.e., "lovers of words" you know . . . like . . . you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish . . . or, I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger . . . then it hit me . . . .etc.). Well, here are some for you to enjoy ... Read more
The New Alphabet!!!
A is for apple, and B is for boat, that used to be right, but now it won't float! Age before beauty is what we once said, but let's be a bit more realistic instead.
Now The New Alphabet:
A is for arthritis;
B is the... Read more