More Kids in Church!!!
3-year-old Reese :
'Our Father, Who does art in heaven,
Harold is His name.
A little boy was overheard praying:
'Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worr... Read more
SIMPLE TRUTH 1
Partners help each other undress before sex.
However after sex, they always dress on their own.
Moral of the story:
In life, no one helps you once you're screwed.
SIMPLE TRUTH 2
When a lady is pregnant, all... Read more
LENA and OLE!!!!
Lena is pregnant with Ole's child.
Late one night, Lena vakes up Ole and says, 'I tink it's time!'
So Ole fired up the Yohn Deere tractor and took her to the hospital to have their
She had a little boy, ... Read more
Why Some Men Have a Dog And No Wife:
1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.
2. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.
3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.
4. A dog's parents never v... Read more
Did I Read That Right?!?!?!
Did I read that sign right?
TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW
In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT
In a Memphis d... Read more
Not Just for Grandparents!!!!
How children perceive their grandparents
1. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes
of her young granddaughter, as she'd done many times before. After she applied her lipstick and started to l... Read more
Lexiphile (i.e., "lovers of words" you know . . . like . . . you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish . . . or, I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger . . . then it hit me . . . .etc.). Well, here are some for you to enjoy ... Read more
The New Alphabet!!!
A is for apple, and B is for boat, that used to be right, but now it won't float! Age before beauty is what we once said, but let's be a bit more realistic instead.
Now The New Alphabet:
A is for arthritis;
B is the... Read more
A Police STOP at 2 AM!!!!
An elderly man is stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and is asked where he is
going at this time of night.
The man replies, "I am on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the
effects it has on the human body ... Read more
Four worms and a lesson to be learned!!!!
A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon.
Four worms were placed into four separate jars.
The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.
The second worm was put into a containe... Read more
Girls Night Out!!!!
Why females should avoid a girls night out after they are
If this does not make you laugh out loud, you have lost your sense
The other night I was invited out for a night with the 'girl... Read more
My wife and I went to the farmer's fair and one of the first exhibits we stopped at was the breeding bulls. We went up to the first pen and there was
a sign attached that said,
' THIS BULL MATED
50 TIMES LAST YEAR'
... Read more
I had to look up "paraprosdokian". Here is the definition: "Figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous situation." "Where there's a will, I want to be in ... Read more
Cletus and Billy Bob!!!!
Cletus is passing by Billy Bob's hay barn one day when, through a gap
in the door, he sees Billy Bob doing a slow and sensual striptease in front
of an old green John Deere.
Buttocks clenched, he performs a slow pirouette, and ... Read more
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A Good Catholic Joke!!!
An old nun who was living in a convent next to a construction site
Noticed the coarse language of the workers
And decided to spend some time with them to correct their ways.
She decided she would take her lunch;
Sit wi... Read more