A is for apple, and B is for boat, that used to be right, but now it won't float! Age before beauty is what we once said, but let's be a bit more realistic instead.
Now The New Alphabet:
A is for arthritis;
B is the... Read more
An elderly man is stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and is asked where he is
going at this time of night.
The man replies, "I am on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the
effects it has on the human body ... Read more
A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon.
Four worms were placed into four separate jars.
The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.
The second worm was put into a containe... Read more
Why females should avoid a girls night out after they are
If this does not make you laugh out loud, you have lost your sense
The other night I was invited out for a night with the 'girl... Read more
My wife and I went to the farmer's fair and one of the first exhibits we stopped at was the breeding bulls. We went up to the first pen and there was
a sign attached that said,
' THIS BULL MATED
50 TIMES LAST YEAR'
... Read more
I had to look up "paraprosdokian". Here is the definition: "Figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous situation." "Where there's a will, I want to be in ... Read more
Cletus is passing by Billy Bob's hay barn one day when, through a gap
in the door, he sees Billy Bob doing a slow and sensual striptease in front
of an old green John Deere.
Buttocks clenched, he performs a slow pirouette, and ... Read more
An old nun who was living in a convent next to a construction site
Noticed the coarse language of the workers
And decided to spend some time with them to correct their ways.
She decided she would take her lunch;
Sit wi... Read more
A businessman met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend
the night with her for $500. They did their thing,
and, before he left, he told her that he did
not have any cash with him, but he would have his
... Read more
The Sierra Club and the U.S. Forest Service were presenting an alternative to
the Wyoming ranchers for controlling the coyote population. It seems that after
years of the ranchers using the tried and true method of shoo... Read more
A man is stumbling through the woods totally drunk when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. The drunk walks into the water and bumps into the preacher. The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell... Read more
1. Wear your glasses to make sure your partner is actually in the bed.
2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.
3. Set the mood with lighting.. (Turn them ALL OFF!)
4. Make sure you put 911 on... Read more
Please excuse the rough language at the end of the following story. I would have deleted it, but the story just wouldn't be the same...
A young couple married and went on their honeymoon. When they returned,
the brid... Read more
I shall see and find you...
I shall take you to bed and control you...
I will make you ache, shake and sweat until you grunt and groan...
I will make you beg for mercy...
I will exhaust you to the point t... Read more
A Priest was about to finish his tour of duty, and was leaving his
Mission in the jungle where he has spent years teaching the natives,
when he realizes that the one thing he never taught them was how to
speak... Read more