In honor of Arnold Schwarzenegger, a new commandment has been created. Be sure to write
this one in underneath the other ten:
"Thou Shalt Not Share Thy Rod With Thy Staff."
Amish and the Elevator!!!
A fifteen year old Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by
everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.
The boy asked, 'Wh... Read more
After Hours Veterinarian!!!!
A dog lover, whose poodle was a bitch and 'in heat', agreed to look
after and house her neighbors' male poodle while they were away on vacation.
She had a large house, and believed that she could keep them apart,
but as she... Read more
A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot.
The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now you probably won't remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the freeway. You're going to b... Read more
The Nun at Hooters
A nun, badly needing to use the restroom,
walked into a local Hooters.
The place was hopping with music and loud
conversation and every once in a while 'the lights would turn
Each time the lights would go out... Read more
How BOOBS Got Their Name
Makes sense to me!!!! Read more
ANOTHER CHAPTER OF "THEY WALK AMONG US AND REPRODUCE!!
Actual call center conversations!
Customer: 'I've been calling 700-1000 for two days and can'... Read more
Mother decided that 10 year old Cathy should get something practical for her birthday. She said, "Suppose we open a savings account for you?"
"It's your account," mother said, as they arrived at the bank, "so... Read more
HIS AND HER DIARY FOR THE SAME DAY:
Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but ... Read more
Texting for old folks:
ATD - at the doctors.
BFF - best friend fell.
BTW - bring the wheelchair.
BYOT - bring your own teeth.
FWIW - forgot where I was.
GGPBL - gotta go, pacemaker battery low.
GHA - got heartbu... Read more
One Man's Retirement!!!
One day a man decided to retire...
He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life, that is, until the ship sank.
He soon found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies, not... Read more
DOG FOR SALE :
A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale 'He rings the bell and ... Read more
Mammogram Secrets !!!!
Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there is no need to worry.
By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam and doing the
following exercises, you will be totally prepared for the test and best o... Read more
A Lawyer Story.....only in America!!!
BEST TRUE LAWYER STORY OF THE YEAR, DECADE, AND POSSIBLY THE CENTURY
This took place in Charlotte , North Carolina . A lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against, among other things, fir... Read more
Top Two Adult Jokes of 2011
Bill worked in a pickle factory.
He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day
to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion.
He had an urge to stick his peni... Read more
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