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Things My Mother Taught Me!!!!!
~ AUTHOR UNKNOWN ~
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. “If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out ... Read more
Three Norwegians go down to Mexico to celebrate college graduation. They
get drunk, and wake up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in
the morning, though none of them can remember what ... Read more
A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead
sitting at the next table.
He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to
talk with her.
Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass ey... Read more
Lunch with the girls through the ages!!!!
A group of 15-year-old girlfriends discussed where to meet for dinner.
Finally, they agreed to meet at the Dairy Queen next to the Ocean View restaurant
because they had only $6.00 among them and Jimmy Johnson, the cute boy ... Read more
Witticisms of Ignorance!!!!
-It 's not whether you win or lose,
but how you place the blame.
-You are not drunk
if you can lie on the floor
without holding on.
-We have enough youth..
How about a fountain of "smart"?
-The original... Read more
A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other if there is sex after death.
Their biggest fear was that there was no after life at all.
After a long life together, the husband was the first ... Read more
They "Still" Walk Amoung Us!!!!
NEW YORK - resident Kathy Evans brought humiliation to her friends and family when she set a new standard for stupidity with her appearance
on the popular TV show, 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.'
Evans, a 32-year-old wif... Read more
Black and White TV!
After being married for 50 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said ...
"Fifty" years ago we had a cheap house, a junk car, slept on a sofa bed and watched
a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every ni... Read more
Notes to God from the Dog
Dear God: Is it on purpose our names are the same, only reversed ?
Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another ?
Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it... Read more
Oldie but Goodie!
A man breaks into a house to look for money and guns Inside, he finds a
couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of the bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the
homeowner's wife to the bed the convict ge... Read more
Another "Why Teachers Drink"!!!!
The following questions were set in last year's GED examination
These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds)............and they WILL breed and vote
Q. Name the four seasons
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar
Q. Explai... Read more
HELL explained.....you're gonna love it!!!!
BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT
The following is an actual question given on a University of Arizona chemistry mid term, and an actual answer turned in by a student.
The answer by one... Read more
THE MIRACLE OF TOILET PAPER
Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically telling me it's not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion.
... Read more
Ten thoughts to ponder:
Number 10: Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 9: Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 8: Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwic... Read more