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Old Farmer's Advice
Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.
Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.
Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.
A bumble ... Read more
FOUR MARRIED GUYS GO FISHING
After an hour, the following conversation took place:
First guy: You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out fishing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I would paint every room in the house next weekend..'
... Read more
Dangers of a Catholic Upbringing
As I walked down a busy stre et , knowing I was late for Mass, my eye fell upon one of those unfortunate, homeless vagabonds (you know, tattered clothing, long hair et c) that are found in every town these days.
Some people turned to s... Read more
Keep this in mind while doing your taxes!
At the end of the tax year, the IRS office sent an inspector to audit the books of a local hospital. While the IRS agent was checking the books, he turned to the CFO of the hospital and said, "I notice you buy a lot of bandages. What do you do w... Read more
Divorce vs Murder!
A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, I'd like to buy some cyanide." The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"The lady replied, "I ne... Read more
To my mature friends!!!!
Two elderly women were eating breakfast in a restaurant one morning. Ethel noticed something funny about Mabel's ear and she said, “Mabel, do you know you've got a suppository in your left ear?”
Mabel answered, “I have a suppository in my ... Read more
WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position..
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, an d pigs, the hus... Read more
Humor Dejour - Male or Female?????
Male or Female? You might not have known this, but a lot of non-living objects are actually either male or female. Here are some examples:
They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through... Read more
A TRIP TO COSTCO
Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina Dog chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog, and was in the Checkout line when the woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had, an elephant? So since ... Read more
Getting Old is Fun!!!
An elderly gentleman had had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.
The elderly gentleman went ba... Read more
Medical Alert (funny)
The Center for Disease Control has issued a medical alert about a highly contagious, potentially dangerous virus that is transmitted orally, by hand, and even electronically. This virus is called Weekly Overload Recreational Killer (WORK). If yo... Read more
People born before 1946 were called The Silent generation..
- People born between 1946 and 1959 are called The Baby Boomers.
- People born between 1960 and 1979 are called Generation X, .
- And people born between 1980 and 2010 ar... Read more
WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:
Men Are Just Happier People --
What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President.
You can ... Read more
MEN IN HEAVEN
When everybody on earth was dead and waiting to enter the Pearly Gate, God appeared and said,
"I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men who were true heads of their household, and the other line for the men who were dominated... Read more
It is good to be a woman
1. We got off the Titanic first.
2. We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
3. Taxis stop for us.
4. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
5. No fashion faux pas we make could ever rival th... Read more