Day two of my cleanse. Last day of the terrible antibiotics I have been on. Hoping that this reboot will be just what my body needs to find its balance again. The second day was harder than the first. I feel foggy, and cravings were rearing ... Read more
I could not be more grateful for the support of my Spark friends. I can't believe that after more than a year, all I had to do was reach out, and you were there to catch me. All day today, I felt your presence, and felt so much stronger for it... Read more
I am back.
I should have come back a long time ago.
I am a MESS.
I know this is what I need.
So here it goes...
So much has happened since I last wrote, I don't know where to start. I am literally just going to put it in list form ... Read more
I have been here for ten days - just a couple of more days on the island to explore. It has been a whirlwind, and I have had a lot of fun for parts of it. Part of the reason it has been so fun is that I have fallen in love... Or at least that... Read more
So much has happened and is happening. I have not had a moment to myself, even to have a private phone call with friends, since my mother moved in two months ago. I will post an update about her soon, but for now, I just want to be in THIS MOM... Read more
Today I took my mother to a Nia class - a dance-like exercise style infused with Tai Chi movement. The class is specifically for cancer patients and survivors, and I used to go to it when first in recovery. I dropped out when my heart started ... Read more
Let me start by saying that the most positive thing about my day just happened - when reading your loving comments on my posts. It gives me such immeasurable comfort to know I am not alone, and have your amazing energy to buoy my spirits and lig... Read more
I feel like all my sentences are going to start with, "The hardest part (of this) is..." My experience tells me that it probably yield more positive results if I were to focus on sharing a good reflection of the day, like, "The best part of tod... Read more
this is late, but I woke up realizing I didn't post yesterday and I want to establish the habit again. My sentence for yesterday was:
That hardest part today is living with someone you know is dying when she has not recognized or accepted that h... Read more
I'm not sure if I can call this Day 181, since I have been MIA for almost a whole month. Maybe this should be Day 1 all over again...
My life has been a whirlwind of activity and emotion. My mother now lives with me, and I am her primar... Read more
I have been avoiding blogging. It's not that I forget every night, or even that I don't have time (I never had time before, but I just stayed up until I got it done). I suspect I am avoiding blogging because I don't want to deal with my emotio... Read more
Well, I've missed a few days of blogging. Some of it was from being incredibly busy with all of the preparations for my mother to arrive. Some of it was honestly just laziness. I am APPALLED and concerned about how quickly my entire self care... Read more
Another very long day, but one of some accomplishment. I finished sorting all the clothes needing to be donated, kept or sold. I unpacked the last box that has been packed since my partner moved out. I hung curtains, shelves and art. I moved a l... Read more
Hurry up and wait. But be ready. But you don't know for what. The oncologist who is her "primary care" point person (the only one she has seen in person so far) seems to be taking his time with my mother's test results, and also with ordering... Read more
Last Page »
Thank you both for your constant support, kind words and outside perspective. I feel that the biggest danger of this situation is that I have tunnel vision and find myself unconsciously falling into my childhood role of peacekeeper and caregiver... Read more