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MARYJOANNA
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MARYJOANNA's Blogs

THOUGHT-FILLED QUOTES
Friday, June 08, 2012      2 comments

The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, BUT mosquitoes come close. You never know what you have until... you clean your room. Be happy in front of people who don't like you, IT KILLS THEM... Read more
MIRROR MIRROR ON THE WALL
Wednesday, June 06, 2012      5 comments

After living in the remote wilderness of West Virginia all his life, an old hillbilly decided it was time to visit the big city. In one of the stores we picks up a mirror and looks in it. Not ever having seen one before, he remarked at the... Read more
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Monday, June 04, 2012      5 comments

Women are Angels. When someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly on a broomstick .... We are flexible like that.... Read more
MERGERS
Wednesday, May 30, 2012      4 comments

For those of you with any money left, be aware of the next expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks. Watch for these consolidations in 3rd quarter 2012: 1. Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmet... Read more
THE DREADED CALL
Tuesday, May 29, 2012      2 comments

My boss phoned me today; he said, "Is everything okay at the office?" I said, "Yes, it's all under control. It's been a very busy day, and I haven't stopped." "Can you do me a favor?" he asked. I said, "Of course, what is it?" ... Read more
WHAT IT MEANS TO BE IRISH
Saturday, May 26, 2012      3 comments

You swear very well. You have no idea how to make a long story short. Much of your childhood meals were boiled. Instant potatoes were a mortal sin. You will never play professional basketball. You have never hit your head on a ceiling.... Read more
WAYS TO TURN DOWN UNWANTED MEN!!!
Friday, May 25, 2012      6 comments

HE: I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours. SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours. HE: I think I could make you happy. SHE: Why? Are you leaving? HE: Hey baby, what's your ... Read more
PANTS ON FIRE
Thursday, May 24, 2012      2 comments

A preacher finished the service one morning by saying, "Next Sunday, I am going to preach on the subject of liars. As a preparation for my sermon, I would like you all to read Mark Chapter 17." On the following Sunday, the preacher rose to... Read more
MOMMY, WHERE DID I COME FROM?
Tuesday, May 22, 2012      2 comments

When my eight-year-old daughter asked me where she cam from, I decided it was time to have a chat about the facts of life. I handled the matter tactfully and was mentally patting myself on the back when she looked at me with a puzzled expressio... Read more
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Monday, May 21, 2012      2 comments

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.... Read more
WILL ROGERS QUOTE
Sunday, May 20, 2012      2 comments

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. Food for thought?... Read more
IRISH LEFTOVERS
Saturday, May 19, 2012      2 comments

Gallagher opened the morning newspapers and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best friend, Finney. "Did you see the paper?" asked Gallagher? "They sat U dued!!" "Yes, I saw it!" ... Read more
CHILDREN'S LOGIC
Thursday, May 17, 2012      2 comments

Teacher: Give me a sentence about a public servant. A small boy wrote: The fireman came down the ladder pregnant. Teacher took him aside to correct him. Don't you know what pregnant means? Sure, said the young boy confidently. ... Read more
REDNECK JOKES
Wednesday, May 16, 2012      2 comments

You might be a redneck if... You've ever been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog. You might be a redneck if... Jack Daniels make your list of "Most Admired People"... Read more
CUTE PUNS
Monday, May 14, 2012      3 comments

She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion. A small boy swallowed some coins ... Read more

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