PANTS ON FIRE
A preacher finished the service one morning by saying, "Next Sunday, I am going to preach on the subject of liars. As a preparation for my sermon, I would like you all to read Mark Chapter 17."
On the following Sunday, the preacher rose to... Read more
MOMMY, WHERE DID I COME FROM?
When my eight-year-old daughter asked me where she cam from, I decided it was time to have a chat about the facts of life. I handled the matter tactfully and was mentally patting myself on the back when she looked at me with a puzzled expressio... Read more
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.... Read more
WILL ROGERS QUOTE
We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work
its way through Congress.
Food for thought?... Read more
Gallagher opened the morning newspapers and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary
column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best friend, Finney.
"Did you see the paper?" asked Gallagher? "They sat U dued!!"
"Yes, I saw it!" ... Read more
Teacher: Give me a sentence about a public servant.
A small boy wrote: The fireman came down the ladder pregnant.
Teacher took him aside to correct him. Don't you know what pregnant means?
Sure, said the young boy confidently. ... Read more
You might be a redneck if...
You've ever been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
You might be a redneck if...
Jack Daniels make your list of "Most Admired People"... Read more
She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
A small boy swallowed some coins ... Read more
DON'T YA LOVE IT!
Did you hear about the 83 year old woman who talked herself out of a speeding ticket by telling the young officer that she had to get to there before she forgot where she was going?
Makes perfectly good sense to me . . . .... Read more
A second grader came home from school and said to her grandma, " Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today."
The grandmother , more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting," she said. "How to... Read more
WHAT IS A REDNECK?
You might be a Redneck if...
You think the French Riviera is a foreign car.... Read more
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man
can see better than he can think.... Read more
YOU'D THINK TEACHERS WOULD LEARN
The teacher decided to have a pop test on spelling.
She asked little Johnny to come to the board and spell 'straight'.
He did without error and turned to the teacher with his usual 'ha ha; smirk.
"That's correct, Johnny, not what is the de... Read more
I was in the bathroom, putting on my makeup, under the watchful eyes of my young granddaughter, as she'd done many times before. After I applied my lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But Grandma, you forgot to kiss the toilet ... Read more
Two men died and went to Heaven. St. Peter greeted them, and said "I'm sorry, gentlemen, but your mansions are not ready yet. Until they are, I can send you back to Earth as whatever you want to be." "Great!" said the first guy, "I want to be... Read more