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Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.
Saturday, May 19, 2012 1 comments
When in doubt, mumble.
Friday, May 18, 2012 1 comments
We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control.
Thursday, May 17, 2012 1 comments
Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.
Wednesday, May 16, 2012 0 comments
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
Tuesday, May 15, 2012 0 comments
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
Monday, May 14, 2012 1 comments
A mother's happiness is like a beacon, lighting up the future but reflected also on the past in the
Sunday, May 13, 2012 1 comments
Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.
Saturday, May 12, 2012 5 comments
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut
Friday, May 11, 2012 1 comments
The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
Tuesday, May 08, 2012 3 comments
MAY 8, 2012
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
Monday, May 07, 2012 2 comments
MAY 7, 2012
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
Sunday, May 06, 2012 2 comments
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
Friday, May 04, 2012 2 comments
MAY 4, 2012
If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
Thursday, May 03, 2012 1 comments
MAY 3, 2012
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand
Wednesday, May 02, 2012 1 comments
MAY 2, 2012
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