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    MARYHOLMAN   9,648
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Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.

Saturday, May 19, 2012      1 comments

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When in doubt, mumble.

Friday, May 18, 2012      1 comments

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We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control.

Thursday, May 17, 2012      1 comments

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Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012      0 comments

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Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012      0 comments

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Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

Monday, May 14, 2012      1 comments

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A mother's happiness is like a beacon, lighting up the future but reflected also on the past in the

Sunday, May 13, 2012      1 comments

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Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.

Saturday, May 12, 2012      5 comments

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Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut

Friday, May 11, 2012      1 comments

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The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

Tuesday, May 08, 2012      3 comments

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I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

Monday, May 07, 2012      2 comments

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A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.

Sunday, May 06, 2012      2 comments

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Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.

Friday, May 04, 2012      2 comments

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If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.

Thursday, May 03, 2012      1 comments

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Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand

Wednesday, May 02, 2012      1 comments

MAY 2, 2012 Read more


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