I was judged today
March was a very hectic month for me, what with the move from California to Tennessee, med changes (complete with adverse side effects), final doctor visits, visits with family before the move, and getting settled in. I didn't stay the path, an... Read more
Happy New Year, I hope
I went overboard in the last 2 weeks: eating all the time and not logging everything I eat. I know why. And I know that it was MY choice to say yea or nay. I didn't do it. I am having issues with some anger and resentment and also a fair a... Read more
This Christmas is different
The holidays are almost over and surprisingly, I haven't shown a gain. I say surprisingly because I have been eating my emotions. I live with someone who doesn't celebrate Christmas, and for me, that is somewhat depressing. And since my siste... Read more
Merry Christmas to ME!
I am still on my journey, still exercising, and still losing weight. In the last week or so, I have been noticing that I have been binge eating. And I noticed that I did it most often when I was letting myself get caught up in a negative head-... Read more
Today is a good day.
After 36 days, I am still logging what I eat. This deserves a celebration. I am officially at the 4 month mark for consistency in my exercising, and I have lost 12.8 pounds, which is 5% of my body weight. I am finding ways to sneak in more wa... Read more
I think about the people I love and care about and how (un)healthy they are and I look in the mirror and I see my unhealthiness and I think that is my lot in life. I so don't want it to be, but I focus on it so much that there is no alternative... Read more
I can't even count the times I have started a "diet", only to give up after 2-3 weeks. Occasionally, I would make it to a 20 pound decrease. Then I would quit. I guess I just wasn't ready to really make the change. I had the 'all-or-nothing'... Read more
I am feeling good today. I had a doctor appointment yesterday, so I wan't able to exercise. On a good note, all my labs and tests were normal, so I am in good health.
I am working right now on tracking EVERYTHING that I put in my mouth... Read more
This time is different. This time, I am going by how I feel. This time, I am tracking ALL that I eat, without dreading it. This time, it feels right. This time, it is an adventure. This time, I feel that I can do this. This time, it is abo... Read more
Once again, with Feeling
I have slipped again. I quit after a few days, because it was too 'difficult' to measure/track my food. It is easier to continue as I have been and not focus on me, because that is selfish, and am not worth it, anyway. I know what I should we... Read more
Where am I?
I keep making resolutions about loosing the extra weight I am carrying around, and I usually give up after a month or so because it is 'too much trouble to log my food and measure it." And I beat myself up afterwards and think that I can't stic... Read more
Life requires me to show up.
I got on the scale today and I am at 235. I thought about my habits and my life, and I realized that my health is more important than a number. I can't keep going through my life being numb. It leads to mediocrity. If I keep waiting for the ... Read more
Compassion and Awareness
I read an article today on self-compassion, and it really struck a nerve with me. I got to thinking about it, and I am SO hard on myself, "Comparing my every day life to XXX's highlight reel.", among other things. I am so quick to compare me t... Read more
I am so tired of being a yo-yo
I joined SparkPeople earlier this year because I wanted to be fit and to lose weight. And I quit. I seem to be good at doing that. I get motivated and do well for a month or so, then I give up. I can usually find someone or something to poin... Read more
My 30-Day Challenge
Through most of my life, I have tended to float by, not making waves or statements. I have hid in the corner trying to be invisible and 'going with the flow'. I haven't made a real commitment to anything. SO, for the month of April, I am comm... Read more