Given the 'green light' for surgery!
This process takes sooooo long.
But yesterday, I met with the Psych evaluator, Dr Essmen, to go over the 3 hour test I took to see if I am mentally ready for this big life change.
He talked with me and my husband for quite a while. He ... Read more
Mommy, what will you do when you lose weight??
My innocent little daughter asked me this as we lie in bed, looking at the moon through the curtains. I look up at the sky, the stars twinkle. Stars that I have looked at since I was a little girl, much like my own little one. Six years old is a... Read more
When 4x is too tight!
I really hate this. I feel so huge today, my shirts are way too tight, and they are a 4x! Will they ever be big on me? I look in the mirror now, and see how it stretches ov... Read more
Getting my drivers license and being honest
I have never, never put my real weight on my license. Ever.
Why? Pride. Shame. Self delusion. I always thought I could lose the weight to match my drivers license. What an optimist!
Well, my dearest friends. This time, I put my actual ... Read more
New Month, New Goals & Preparing for Surgery
Hello dear friends. I have been so busy, stressed, but I have also been eating way too much. I admit, I have let my eating fall down the wayside, indulging when I could have made better choices.
I will not waste your (and my) time be relivi... Read more
Willingness V.S. Willfullness
What is the difference??
Willingness is being willing to do what it takes to get what you want. Willingness is getting up when you feel like sleeping. It means going longer in your workout, trying to do better than yesterday. Making a sched... Read more
Well, I am getting better, but I still get a light sweat and shaky if I am up too long. Pneumonia is no joke! I am still coughing with a raspy lung issue, wondering how long THAT is going to continue, but still seems a little better each day.
... Read more
Upper Respitory Infection = Pneumonia
Everyone in the house got pneumonia. Father in law had to be hospitalized. I am STILL coughing despite breathing treatments and steroid shot + antibiotics.
I want to be more active, but this sickness has knocked me on my BUTT! Just standing... Read more
I have had a temp upwards of 103. I've been resting, but now that I am sitting up and the fever broke, I will update you on what has been going on.
I met with the psychologist for surgery last Friday. It went splendidly! I really enjoyed ta... Read more
Worried about Surgery
I should re-phrase that, I am not worried so much about the surgery, I am worried about qualifying for it.
Am I too big at 288? Will I pass the psych exam this friday? What if it is delayed?
I am just worried about everything. I want ... Read more
Sorry I haven't blogged. Just know that I am doing my best.
My aunt has been given 2-3 weeks to live, she has cancer.
My father has cancer in his blood, they think from his kidneys and\or lungs.
My mother is in pain, emotionally c... Read more
Hurts to be big...
I think back to when I was giving my first talk. My mother was always vocal about my weight, but now I needed a new outfit. She took me to Sears. I remember dress after dre... Read more
First Snow 2012
Just wanted to share some pics:
... Read more
All I've lost and gained...
Would you believe that even after not doing everything 'perfect', being sick, and feeling hopeless, I have managed to get back on track and lose all the weight I gained in the last 2 weeks, and even LOST an extra pound?
Weight goes up and d... Read more
I think I have been trying to overhaul too much too soon. I think this has been part of my being overwhelmed and stopping all my good habits. I need to CREATE new habits, and that takes time and patience (something I lack)
SO, today I am on... Read more