60,000-79,999 SparkPoints 76,063


Pat and Vanna I would like an E please
Monday, January 18, 2010      12 comments

My sister likes to tease me that I am not "good Okie breading stock." Half of our family is ther sterotypical Grapes of Wrath revisted. They all seem to have lots of kids and no issues. I must take after the other side of the family. I am no... Read more
Turn the page
Monday, January 04, 2010      5 comments

Thank goodness the holidays are done. In my house we have Christmas, New Year's Eve which also happens to be my wedding anniversary, and then my birthday (Jan 2nd). It was a long season and I am glad it is over. Don't get me wrong...there wer... Read more
Halleigh speaks
Tuesday, December 29, 2009      10 comments

Christmas was harder than I thought. I went through the motions for my other children and sobbed in the bedroom in my husband's arms. I knew it was going to be hard. Just harder than I thought. It seemed so hollow without Halleigh's laugh. ... Read more
Shock and Awe
Thursday, December 10, 2009      8 comments

The pregnancy fatigue and nausea is taking its toll. I drink my water every day but right now after doing my shift transcribing and then doing some freelance work for an old boss of mine, it is all I can do to crawl out of my chair before falli... Read more
The present of being present
Monday, November 23, 2009      5 comments

I just can not believe how my life has changed. Everything has been tossed upside down. The grounding points have been my family and friends. They have all sought to think of the things I could not, deal with the aspects of life I could not, ... Read more
Whispers to God
Wednesday, November 18, 2009      11 comments

No doubt about being pregnant ....the nausea has begun....and the shock has worn off a bit. I am sure that Halleigh had a part in this. She sooooo loved kids, especially younger ones as they just loved her for being her and not judge her like ... Read more
Blasphemous Rumors
Monday, November 16, 2009      12 comments

This last week I have not felt like doing much. We have had our first official snow. Kailien and Taegan made snow angels and went sledding. I smiled at them and felt my heart break over the dichotomy of missing one of my angels. And I have b... Read more
Not for the faint of heart
Saturday, November 07, 2009      8 comments

Last night I was primal. I eat meat. My husband and I raise our own meat, most veggis and starting to do fruit as well. Anyway, last night we butchered one of the pigs...all 600 pounds of her. It is a humane of a kill as possible and I have ... Read more
Obstacle course boxing
Thursday, November 05, 2009      6 comments

I am sore...yesterday's workout was good in so many ways. I am sore physically from the boxing especially when I have not worked out since we left for California on August 15th. I was also emotionally raw yesterday and spent a quite of bit of ... Read more
Sweat and tears
Wednesday, November 04, 2009      4 comments

I promised Halleigh that I would keep moving on. This morning when I woke up the day was gray and frozen and a fog had set in....both physically and emotionally. I thought that I would just curl up and hide today. I am working from home and m... Read more
Tuesday, November 03, 2009      3 comments

I have always liked the mountains. I love the vista. I love the smell of the air. There is a beauty in seeing the clouds roll up the edge of the tree line, hugging the edge of the hillside like a lover slowly pulling away. I have climbed lit... Read more
One step
Friday, September 25, 2009      9 comments

Each day is a struggle. I don't sleep well. I don't like leaving my home. I want to curl up all day and cry but can't. I have other children who need me. I have to work in order to pay my bills. I have to keep moving forward. So, each mor... Read more
Enough love
Saturday, August 22, 2009      19 comments

Halleigh passed last night at 11:50 in my arms. She was 95% brain dead and the last week had allowed her lungs and organs to repair enough to be functional but my child was long since gone. We had been hoping for organ donation, but since she ... Read more
18 hours
Tuesday, August 18, 2009      11 comments

Saturday evening I received a call from my sister in California advising me in short that my eldest daughter Halleigh just suffered a seizure in a swimming pool and was being transported via EMS in critical condition. Our mother had started CPR... Read more
Crappy day -
Tuesday, August 04, 2009      5 comments

It has been one of those days. The fridge is close to dead. I am trying to limp it along until the end of the month when I might be able to scrape the funds together to get a new fridge. I have been going through interview process to... Read more

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