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    KIYOSHI04   60,921
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ive never been so alone.. and ive never been so alive.

Monday, February 23, 2009      10 comments

had two more slices of pizza last evening but it is now gone. i weighed in six times today. i got an equal number of 213 and 214. i will take 214. had to babysit... Read more

it hurts to write this blog. ..

Sunday, February 22, 2009      14 comments

so my bird messaged me last night. i didnt know until midnight. i messaged him this am and he said he was okay. i talked to my sister and apparently he had a bad night last ni... Read more

my brave little toaster....

Saturday, February 21, 2009      10 comments

214 again today. yay! i am still really really sore from the fall.. my wrist and behind are killing me. its been a long day. r. and i went to the vet with both dog... Read more

saturday, wait...and sunday always comes too late but Friday never hesitate...

Friday, February 20, 2009      7 comments

well today was very different than i had anticipated. we got one hell of a storm. i attempted to make it to see the nephews and sisters at mcdonalds but as i pulled out ont... Read more

the nightly battle in the kitchen continues....

Thursday, February 19, 2009      10 comments

70 lbs done as of today. yay. i am so scared to get on the scale tomorrow and see something like 216... but i know i can take anything. am in such a funk this w... Read more

One final deed, she will plead, I proceed...

Wednesday, February 18, 2009      11 comments

this picture is for you, ms. squisshy. :o) a very very off day. going through something .....intensely painful and embarrassing emotionally and today showed it. i was ... Read more

giving up on myself. ...

Tuesday, February 17, 2009      14 comments

i cant wait to be able to put my legs up like that someday, again, comfortably. i was thinking about giving up on myself. no, not like now. but before. i gave up on myse... Read more

That's when the hornet stung me and I had a feverish dream...

Monday, February 16, 2009      10 comments

me and bird. this picture actually makes me tear up. i missed a lot of bird and jo growing up. granted i did see more than most aunts get to see, but i was a teenager who w... Read more

I need someone to ache for me the way I ache for you...

Sunday, February 15, 2009      7 comments

this is me and bird. he's thirteen now, and im much heavier. fat girl so down. in all ways. knee is still bad. still eating bad. although i did pull it out of the gutter... Read more

the death of true romance..

Saturday, February 14, 2009      12 comments

and yet another off day. sister ended up calling me, telling me to go to lunch with them. i said no thank you and it just kinda escalated from there. i dont know. i ended u... Read more

its not like her to make me feel guilty... to reduce me to nothing

Friday, February 13, 2009      6 comments

kinda a weird day.. went shopping with my mom, had to go to a different direction today for my aunt to get her medicine, went to some places we dont normally go. which also m... Read more

If I could be who you wanted...all the time, all the time.

Thursday, February 12, 2009      10 comments

well ... babysitting went well. a. was so happy to see me and we had a good time putting together puzzles and whatnot. on the way back i was hungry and wanted to stop at a smal... Read more

but there is a way to refuse and resist.. we dont need to be ruled with the iron fist..

Wednesday, February 11, 2009      13 comments

well i accidentally took advil pm last night instead of nyquil. whoops. i slept so good but woke up feeling blah this morning. kinda like ...foggy. and still sick. i had grand... Read more

to my surprise, im hypnotized by the sight of flesh and the scent of skin..

Tuesday, February 10, 2009      17 comments

no waking up early. sick. no exercise. although making 200 literally (i counted) stars out of playdough should count for something. but, i am down to 215 today. thats... Read more

do you have the time to listen to me whine....

Monday, February 09, 2009      13 comments

sick. still. ugh. i got 100 minutes into the workout and couldnt do more which really messes up my week because i was supposed to do strength training today. tomorrow i ... Read more


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