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    JITZUROE   109,487
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JITZUROE's Blog Entry Summary View



An unpleasant reality check

Friday, January 16, 2015      16 comments

My mom called this morning and cancelled her trip out to see me. Yesterday she had called to tell me how much she was looking forward to seeing me, how she wanted to just spend time with me, even if just in silence (if Ethel was being mean an... Read more

Years can pass, but when you hear that voice, your memories awaken.

Tuesday, January 13, 2015      16 comments

Honestly I am looking back at the past few days and feel I've binged on each one of them. This is a weird place to be emotionally. Verrrrry long story short: mom left when I was young. Few sightings of her, then gone. I haven't seen her in 15... Read more

Feel like a hippo sat on me wearing ankle weights - carrying a giant bag of quarters.

Wednesday, January 07, 2015      17 comments

Finally home from the hospital after a week's worth of (painful) IV treatment to bring some life back to my ailing feet. This was Operation Save My Feet Round 2. Two days into treatment my epidural became infected (again??), and the medi... Read more

Medical Supply Closet Contents Stuck To My Chest, Ha!

Friday, November 07, 2014      10 comments

Well I wasn't able to cancel this procedure [would have been the third time], and finally went through with getting my power medi-port surgery yesterday. My veins are so uncooperative at this point that it is simply impossible to get an IV in... Read more

I seem to be sporting a reverse MOHAWK...

Tuesday, October 21, 2014      9 comments

...down the peach fuzz of my back. From the base of my head to my tailbone. The docs used what they call 'pink tape' (it's actually peach guys!) to anchor the wires and tubing from a long term epidural in my spine. I told the nurses that they ... Read more

Operation 'Save My Feet'! A necessary chapter in my book?

Monday, October 13, 2014      17 comments

Are you a foot person? Love to get a pedi and pick some adorable polish? Umm, then this blog might not be the most appealing (sorry!). I don't have toenails to paint, and quite frankly can't handle anyone touching my feet due to pain. Oh bo... Read more

My Body Isn't a Wonderland. It's an Obstacle Course!

Wednesday, September 24, 2014      12 comments

Internal questioning dialogue: Do I count the full amount of exercise minutes even though I had to sit in a chair, instead of standing up to do all of the exercises? Am I being a cheater? I only logged 8 min of a 10 min workout today si... Read more

Umm, I don't have enough underwear for that...

Wednesday, September 03, 2014      16 comments

As Ricky Ricardo says, "lemme splain". But first I wanted to share why I needed to give my body a fighting chance. See, apparently my home has it in for me, really. My pain has continually crept up because of a few things that were out of m... Read more

I don't need to count my blessings. They surround me!

Thursday, July 24, 2014      19 comments

As the bubbling, gurgling tar-like funk starts to recede, I can now see remnants of my true self underneath (phew). And I am able to better reflect on the shiny gems set throughout last week's Mayo Clinic trip, not just the pain and the tears. ... Read more

S.O.S. I need help from my Spark friends...

Monday, July 21, 2014      29 comments

I'm struggling with such high pain since this second trip to the Mayo Clinic. I feel like I'm just enveloped in pain pain pain. I'm used to sucking it up in my own way and trudging through it. But this pain is like a pool of molasses though, ... Read more

Pain Management Therapy suggests I find one thing daily that I am able to do...

Saturday, June 07, 2014      13 comments

Regardless of crazy a$$ pain burning throughout my bod'. The animal that chronic pain has become can change and morph daily. Lesson: don't expect you can do a certain task daily. Be thankful for today if you can button those buttons, since yo... Read more

A self-loving life is like a bowl of trail mix...

Thursday, March 13, 2014      14 comments

Can I tell you how many dirty day dreams I've had of velveeta mac n cheese or chocolate dipped macaroons? Oh yes, really. I'm throwing that out there to expose you to how obsessed I have allowed myself to be regarding food over the years. ... Read more

Mourning the loss of my pain treatment

Tuesday, January 28, 2014      13 comments

It's been 3 weeks since my last round of pain treatment at the joint (the hospital), and those last drops of treatment drugs seem to have been depleted. I find myself sad about that since that also means that restful sleep is now a luxury I w... Read more

The next chapter.

Monday, December 16, 2013      16 comments

Strange week for me, as this will be my last week at work. Time to go on disability. I've been at my job for over 13 years, but Ethel has just become too much. The swollen bumps and lesions on my hands and feet make it just insanely painful to m... Read more

Did I surprise you?

Thursday, September 05, 2013      14 comments

Did you hear from me recently? Was it a bit of a shock? Hi, I'm Bren. I most likely slammed you with a goodie (or two) recently. If not, look out, it's coming. I'm basically blowing my spark points piggy bank and goody'ing all of my sparkly f... Read more


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