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ILOVEROSES
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ILOVEROSES's Blogs

Nymphomaniac Convention!
Wednesday, June 06, 2012      8 comments

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside h... Read more
Wise Italian Grandfather!
Monday, June 04, 2012      8 comments

Why Italian Fathers and Grandfathers pass their handguns down through the family. An old Italian man is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside, Guido, I wan' you lissina me. I wan' you to take-a my chrome plated .38 revolver so you ... Read more
The Jewish Elbow.
Sunday, June 03, 2012      7 comments

A Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife. "You come to the front door of the apartment. I am in apartment 301 . There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow , push butto... Read more
Hebronics.
Monday, May 21, 2012      11 comments

New York City Public Schools have officially declared Jewish English, now dubbed Hebronics, as a second language. Backers of the move say the city schools are the first in the nation to recognize Hebronics as a valid language and a significan... Read more
Never squat with your spurs on!
Sunday, May 20, 2012      8 comments

Will Rogers, who died in a 1935 plane crash, was one of the greatest political sages this country has ever known. Some of his sayings: 1. Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco. 2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. 3. Ther... Read more
Some Good Puns.
Friday, May 18, 2012      4 comments

1. King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates, the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he went to Croesus, the pawnbroker, ... Read more
Blond Joke of the Week: Chain Saw!
Thursday, May 17, 2012      7 comments

A blonde man walks into a hardware store and asks for a chain saw that will cut 6 trees in one hour. The salesman recommends the top of the line model. The blonde man is suitably impressed, and buys it. The next day he brings it back... Read more
TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US!!!
Wednesday, May 16, 2012      9 comments

Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, all live in a house together. One night the 96-year-old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters, 'Was I getting in or out of the bath?' The 94-year-old yells back, 'I... Read more
What Religion is Your Bra?
Friday, May 11, 2012      12 comments

A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said,"I'd like to buy a bra for my wife. " "What type of bra?" asked the clerk. "Type?" inquires the man, "There's more than one t... Read more
DIFFERENT WAYS OF LOOKING AT THINGS!
Tuesday, May 08, 2012      9 comments

Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and family values. Bill said, 'I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?' Larry replied, 'I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?' ___________________... Read more
Buying the right bathing suit.
Friday, May 04, 2012      10 comments

Here's a giggle for all of you ladies: I hope you enjoy this as much as I did .... When I was a child in the 1960s, the bathing suit for the mature figure was boned, trussed and reinforced, not so much sewn as engineered. They ... Read more
For Sale By Owner.
Thursday, May 03, 2012      9 comments

You've probably seen them before, but it's a good laugh, anyway. Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica, 45 volumes. Excellent condition, $200 or best offer. No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything. -----------------... Read more
TANJOOBERRYMUTTS!
Monday, April 30, 2012      5 comments

By the time you read through this you will understand "TANJOOBERRYMUTTS". And only then will you be ready to take on China ! Believe me... you WILL understand!!! Here goes... The following is a telephonic e... Read more
YOU WILL NEVER SEE THIS AGAIN!
Friday, April 27, 2012      5 comments

Thought you'd enjoy this! It's one you want your Children and Grandchildren to read. They won't believe this happened, but it DID. (This seems unreal.) Harry Truman was a different kind of President. He probably made as many, or mo... Read more
A little medical humour.
Thursday, April 26, 2012      10 comments

A friend of a friend of mine was sitting on a front lawn sunning and reading, when he was startled by a fairly late model car crashing through a hedge and coming to rest on his lawn. He helped the elderly driver out and sat him on a law... Read more

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