Never squat with your spurs on!
Will Rogers, who died in a 1935 plane crash, was one of the greatest political sages this country has ever known.
Some of his sayings:
1. Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.
2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
3. Ther... Read more
Some Good Puns.
1. King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates, the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he went to Croesus, the pawnbroker, ... Read more
Blond Joke of the Week: Chain Saw!
A blonde man walks into a hardware store and asks for a chain saw that will cut 6 trees in one hour.
The salesman recommends the top of the line model. The blonde man is suitably impressed, and buys it.
The next day he brings it back... Read more
TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US!!!
Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, all live in a house together.
One night the 96-year-old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters, 'Was I getting in or out of the bath?'
The 94-year-old yells back, 'I... Read more
What Religion is Your Bra?
A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said,"I'd like to buy a bra for my wife. "
"What type of bra?" asked the clerk.
"Type?" inquires the man, "There's more than one t... Read more
DIFFERENT WAYS OF LOOKING AT THINGS!
Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and family values.
Bill said, 'I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?'
Larry replied, 'I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?'
___________________... Read more
Buying the right bathing suit.
Here's a giggle for all of you ladies: I hope you enjoy this as much as I did ....
When I was a child in the 1960s, the bathing suit for the mature figure was boned, trussed and reinforced, not so much sewn as engineered. They ... Read more
For Sale By Owner.
You've probably seen them before, but it's a good laugh, anyway.
Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica, 45 volumes.
Excellent condition, $200 or best offer.
No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.
-----------------... Read more
By the time you read through this you will understand "TANJOOBERRYMUTTS".
And only then will you be ready to take on China !
Believe me... you WILL understand!!! Here goes...
The following is a telephonic e... Read more
YOU WILL NEVER SEE THIS AGAIN!
Thought you'd enjoy this!
It's one you want your Children and Grandchildren to read. They won't believe this happened, but it DID.
(This seems unreal.)
Harry Truman was a different kind of President. He probably made as many, or mo... Read more
A little medical humour.
A friend of a friend of mine was sitting on a front lawn sunning and reading, when he was startled by a fairly late model car crashing through a hedge and coming to rest on his lawn.
He helped the elderly driver out and sat him on a law... Read more
Always choose a memorable password!
We are all adults, and hope we all have a good sense of humor. This was just too funny to not share.
A lady helps her man install a new computer. Once it is completed, she tells him to select a password, a word that he'll always remember.
... Read more
Naked Woman in NYC Cab.
A drunk woman, stark naked, jumped into a taxi in New York City .
The taxi driver, who happened to be an old Jewish man, opened his eyes wide and stared at the woman.
He made no attempt to start the cab.
She said to him: “What’s wrong w... Read more
A woman and her lover are in the house while her husband is at work. Her nine year old son comes in, and after seeing them making love, he hides in the closet and watches them.
All of a sudden the husband comes home, and the wife hides her lo... Read more
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I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots.
Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone.
I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there.
I have, however, been in Sane. ... Read more