1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact, just piss off and leave me alone.
2. Sex is like air. It's not that important unle... Read more
An old geologist shuffled into town leading an old tired mule. The old man headed straight for the only saloon to clear his parched throat. He walked up and tied his old mule to the hitch rail.
As he stood there, brushing some of the dust ... Read more
A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K
After being married for thirty years, a wife asked her husband to describe her.
He looked at her for a while...then said, "You're A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K."
She asks..... "What does that mean?"
He said, "Adorable, Beautiful... Read more
The Power of Beer.
A man goes into a bar and drinks a beer. After every glass of beer he pulls a picture out of his pocket and looks at it.
After the 4th beer the waiter asks him why after every glass of beer he pulls the picture out and looks at it.
Th... Read more
A Politicians Fate - Heaven or Hell?
While walking down the street one day a Corrupt Senator(that may be redundant) was tragically hit by a car and died.
His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
"Welcome to heaven," says St.. Peter. "Before yo... Read more
Why I Like Retirement !!!
Question: How many days in a week?
Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday
Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?
Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep in the recliner.
Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?
... Read more
A Fill-In for a Priest.
A priest was called away for an emergency. Not wanting to leave the confessional unattended, he called his rabbi friend from across the street and asked him to cover for him.
The rabbi told him he wouldn't know what to say, but the priest... Read more
And You Ask What A Senior Does?
As we get older we sometimes begin to doubt our ability to "make a difference" in the world.
It is at these times that our hopes are boosted by the remarkable achievements of other "seniors" who have found the courage to take on challenges th... Read more
THE UGLY FROG.
An older lady was somewhat lonely and decided she needed a pet to keep her company. So, off to the pet shop she went. She searched and searched. None of the pets seemed to catch her interest, except this ugly frog. As she walked by the jar he wa... Read more
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down.
Finally, the guys' side of the story.
( I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear 'the rules' from the female side
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These ... Read more
A young Jewish couple got married and went on their honeymoon.
When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother.
"Well", said her mother, "so how was the honeymoon?"
"Oh mama", she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! romantic... Read more
98 and no enemies!
All women should live so long as to be this kind of lady!
Toward the end of Sunday service, the Minister asked, "How many of you have forgiven your enemies?"
Eighty percent held up their hands.
The Minister then repeated his question... Read more
I wanted to send some sort of holiday greeting to my friends and colleagues, but it is difficult in today's world to know exactly what to say without offending someone. So I met with my lawyer yesterday, and on advice I wish to say the following... Read more
A police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the driver and a passenger had been killed. As he looked upon the wreckage a little monkey came out of the bush and hopped around the crashed car.
The officer looked down at the mon... Read more
Bucking Frilliant.......Ronnie Barker Genius!
This was originally shown on BBC TV back in the 70's. Ronnie Barker could say all this without a snigger, though God knows after how many takes.
The irony is, BBC received not one complaint.
The speed of delivery must have been too mu... Read more
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