LONDON LAWYER VS GLASGOW COP
A London lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a Glasgow copper.
He thinks that he is smarter than the cop because he is a lawyer from LONDON and is certain that he has a better education then any Jock cop.
He decides to ... Read more
From 60s to present time.
This is only for those who's level of maturity qualifies them to relate to it...
60s: Long hair
present time: Longing for hair
present time: EKG
60s: Acid rock
present time: Acid reflux
... Read more
Hanging by my boob!
While conducting some business at the Court House, I overheard a lady who had been arrested for assaulting a Mammogram Technician say, "Your Honor, I'm guilty but.....there were extenuating circumstances."
The female Judge said, sarcastical... Read more
Paybacks for Women!
For all those men who say, Why buy a cow when you can get the milk for free.
Here's an update for you: Nowadays, 80% of women are against marriage, WHY? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage. ... Read more
Baby Boomer Life.
In April, Maya Angelou was interviewed by Oprah on her 70+ birthday. Oprah asked her what she thought of growing older.
And, there on television, she said it was 'exciting...'
Regarding body changes, she said there were many, occur... Read more
The Green Thing.
In the line at the store, the cashier told an older woman that she should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren't good for the environment.
The woman apologized to him and explained, "We didn't have the green thing back in ... Read more
Please don't hit me.
Puns for the overly educated.
1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.
2.I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleuti... Read more
Exercise & Brain Function.
Regular exercise is vital for our heart and lung health, but did you know it also affects our brain function?
Here are some of the ways regular exercise can improve your mental health:
* By raising your heart rate, you stimulate the n... Read more
A man walks into a bar with a paper bag. He sits down and places the bag on the counter.
The barman walks up and asks what's in the bag.
The man reaches into the bag and pulls out a little man, about one foot high and sets him on ... Read more
Iran and Star Trek.
The Iranian Ambassador to the UN had just finished giving a speech and walked out into the lobby of the convention centre where he met U.S. General Patraeus.
They shook hands. As they walked the Iranian said, "You know, I have just one questio... Read more
An Alabama preacher said to his congregation, "Someone in this congregation has spread a rumour that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan. It is a horrible lie and one that a Christian community cannot tolerate. I am embarrassed and do not intend to ... Read more
Pretty sure these are all true. Would I lie??????
1. Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
3.... Read more
What is Old?
"OLD" IS WHEN..... Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Choose one, I can't do both!"
"OLD" IS WHEN…. Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.
"OLD" IS WHEN... Read more
Our next trip - Wonders of the American West!
Well, our first trip is just over and what a trip! We've had so much fun, great company with 38 other people, good Tour Director and Coach Driver and such beautiful places we visited! WOW! I will post photos, plenty taken but having problems ... Read more
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Our first tour - American Parks Trail!
On Friday 16th September we begin the first of our 2 coach tours of National Parks.
This was the reason for our 7 week holidaying around the USA. Once we got those tours organized, everything else fell into place, including meeting so many of... Read more