I wanted to send some sort of holiday greeting to my friends and colleagues, but it is difficult in today's world to know exactly what to say without offending someone. So I met with my lawyer yesterday, and on advice I wish to say the following... Read more
A police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the driver and a passenger had been killed. As he looked upon the wreckage a little monkey came out of the bush and hopped around the crashed car.
The officer looked down at the mon... Read more
Bucking Frilliant.......Ronnie Barker Genius!
This was originally shown on BBC TV back in the 70's. Ronnie Barker could say all this without a snigger, though God knows after how many takes.
The irony is, BBC received not one complaint.
The speed of delivery must have been too mu... Read more
The Deaf Wife Problem.
Bert feared his wife Peg wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid.
Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem.
The Doctor told him there is a simp... Read more
The Wise Rabbi.
The only cow in a small town in Poland stopped giving milk.
The people did some research and found that they could buy a cow from Moscow
for 2,000 roubles, or one from Minsk for 500 roubles.
Being frugal, they bought the ... Read more
THIS IS US!!!!
Senior citizens are constantly being criticized for every conceivable deficiency of the modern world, real or imaginary. We know we take responsibility for all we have done and do not blame others.
HOWEVER, upon reflection, we would like to... Read more
LONDON LAWYER VS GLASGOW COP
A London lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a Glasgow copper.
He thinks that he is smarter than the cop because he is a lawyer from LONDON and is certain that he has a better education then any Jock cop.
He decides to ... Read more
From 60s to present time.
This is only for those who's level of maturity qualifies them to relate to it...
60s: Long hair
present time: Longing for hair
present time: EKG
60s: Acid rock
present time: Acid reflux
... Read more
Hanging by my boob!
While conducting some business at the Court House, I overheard a lady who had been arrested for assaulting a Mammogram Technician say, "Your Honor, I'm guilty but.....there were extenuating circumstances."
The female Judge said, sarcastical... Read more
Paybacks for Women!
For all those men who say, Why buy a cow when you can get the milk for free.
Here's an update for you: Nowadays, 80% of women are against marriage, WHY? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage. ... Read more
Baby Boomer Life.
In April, Maya Angelou was interviewed by Oprah on her 70+ birthday. Oprah asked her what she thought of growing older.
And, there on television, she said it was 'exciting...'
Regarding body changes, she said there were many, occur... Read more
The Green Thing.
In the line at the store, the cashier told an older woman that she should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren't good for the environment.
The woman apologized to him and explained, "We didn't have the green thing back in ... Read more
Please don't hit me.
Puns for the overly educated.
1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.
2.I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleuti... Read more
Exercise & Brain Function.
Regular exercise is vital for our heart and lung health, but did you know it also affects our brain function?
Here are some of the ways regular exercise can improve your mental health:
* By raising your heart rate, you stimulate the n... Read more
A man walks into a bar with a paper bag. He sits down and places the bag on the counter.
The barman walks up and asks what's in the bag.
The man reaches into the bag and pulls out a little man, about one foot high and sets him on ... Read more
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