After being married for thirty years....a wife asked her husband to describe her.
He looked at her slowly...then said, "You're A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K."
She asked, "What does that mean?"
He said, "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute... Read more
From the American Association Of Retired People
Q: Where can men over the age of 60 find younger women who are interested in them?
A: Try a bookstore under fiction.
Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?
A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finis... Read more
Just one more sleep!
In about 12 hours we leave home on our way to the airport to fly to Scotland with an overnight stopover in Bangkok.
I've had a very busy day today. Went for my walk this morning with SIL even though it was raining. When we started our wal... Read more
6 degrees of blonde.
Please note, I am blonde, lol.
A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning.
The wife (undoubtedly blonde),... Read more
Did you hear about the guy who was in a bar about as drunk as it's possible
to get? Legless!
A group of guys notice his condition and decide to be good Samaritans and
take him home.
First, they stand him up to get to his wallet so t... Read more
BLESSED ARE THE CRACKED, FOR THEY LET IN THE LIGHT!
1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences.
He thought he was God and I didn't.
2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
4.... Read more
A man had 50 yard line tickets for the Super Bowl. As he sits down, a man comes down and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him.
"No," he says, "The seat is empty."
"This is incredible," said the man. "Who in their right m... Read more
One more week till our big adventure, meeting my Spark Friends around the world!
I am starting to get excited! One more week and we're on our way!
We fly out on Monday afternoon to Bangkok and spend the night there. Then board Lufthansa flight to Frankfurt and after a 6 hour wait we fly to Edinburgh. I've booked a car a... Read more
Qantas Airlines Mechanics' Wicked Sense Of Humour
The following e-mail whizzed around the web recently...
After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a "gripe sheet", which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correctio... Read more
Never Lie to a Woman!!!
A man called home to his wife and said, " Honey I have been asked to go fishing up in Canada with my boss & several of his friends .
We'll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I've been wanting, so co... Read more
The Bathtub Test
During a visit to my doctor, I asked him, "How do you determine whether
or not an older person should be put in an old age home?"
"Well," he said, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the person to e... Read more
After getting all of Pope Benedict's luggage loaded into the limo (and he doesn't travel light), the driver notices the Pope is still standing on the curb.
'Excuse me, Your Holiness,' says the driver, 'Would you please take your seat so w... Read more
The Irish have solved their own fuel problems.
They imported 50 million tonnes of sand from the Arabs and
they're going to drill for their own oil.
My mate's missus left him last Thursday, she said she was going
out... Read more
Great Female Humour.
While the C-5 was turning over its engines, a female crewman gave the G.I.'s on board the usual information regarding seat belts, emergency exits, etc.
Finally, she said, 'Now sit back and enjoy your trip while your captain, Judith Cam... Read more
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Cauliflower: The Future of Cancer Treatment.
Remember this word: "sulforaphane".
It's what helps give vegetables such as cauliflower, broccoli and cabbage their, er, "distinctive" smell when cooked, but it's also the chemical that has been shown to target and kill cancer cells, leav... Read more