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    ILOVEROSES   222,504
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The Drunk

Thursday, July 21, 2011      3 comments

Did you hear about the guy who was in a bar about as drunk as it's possible to get? Legless! A group of guys notice his condition and decide to be good Samaritans and take him home. First, they stand him up to get to his wallet so t... Read more


Wednesday, July 20, 2011      12 comments

1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't. 2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it. 3. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them. 4.... Read more

Super Bowl.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011      5 comments

A man had 50 yard line tickets for the Super Bowl. As he sits down, a man comes down and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him. "No," he says, "The seat is empty." "This is incredible," said the man. "Who in their right m... Read more

One more week till our big adventure, meeting my Spark Friends around the world!

Monday, July 18, 2011      14 comments

I am starting to get excited! One more week and we're on our way! We fly out on Monday afternoon to Bangkok and spend the night there. Then board Lufthansa flight to Frankfurt and after a 6 hour wait we fly to Edinburgh. I've booked a car a... Read more

Qantas Airlines Mechanics' Wicked Sense Of Humour

Sunday, July 17, 2011      12 comments

The following e-mail whizzed around the web recently... After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a "gripe sheet", which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correctio... Read more

Never Lie to a Woman!!!

Friday, July 15, 2011      11 comments

A man called home to his wife and said, " Honey I have been asked to go fishing up in Canada with my boss & several of his friends . We'll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I've been wanting, so co... Read more

The Bathtub Test

Friday, July 15, 2011      9 comments

During a visit to my doctor, I asked him, "How do you determine whether or not an older person should be put in an old age home?" "Well," he said, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the person to e... Read more

Vatican Humor

Thursday, July 14, 2011      13 comments

After getting all of Pope Benedict's luggage loaded into the limo (and he doesn't travel light), the driver notices the Pope is still standing on the curb. 'Excuse me, Your Holiness,' says the driver, 'Would you please take your seat so w... Read more

The Irish.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011      7 comments

The Irish have solved their own fuel problems. They imported 50 million tonnes of sand from the Arabs and they're going to drill for their own oil. My mate's missus left him last Thursday, she said she was going out... Read more

Great Female Humour.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011      6 comments

While the C-5 was turning over its engines, a female crewman gave the G.I.'s on board the usual information regarding seat belts, emergency exits, etc. Finally, she said, 'Now sit back and enjoy your trip while your captain, Judith Cam... Read more

Cauliflower: The Future of Cancer Treatment.

Monday, July 11, 2011      9 comments

Remember this word: "sulforaphane". It's what helps give vegetables such as cauliflower, broccoli and cabbage their, er, "distinctive" smell when cooked, but it's also the chemical that has been shown to target and kill cancer cells, leav... Read more


Sunday, July 10, 2011      6 comments

Real Mothers don't eat quiche; They don't have time to make it. Real Mothers know that their kitchen utensils Are probably in the sandbox. Real Mothers often have sticky floors, Filthy ovens and happy kids. Real Mother... Read more

He's My Brother!

Friday, July 08, 2011      6 comments

This is Priceless . Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of TAMPONS and proceeded to the checkout counter. The man at the counter asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?" "Eight," the boy replied. ... Read more

The Zen of Sarcasm.

Thursday, July 07, 2011      7 comments

(1) Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone. (2) It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neig... Read more

Senior Texting Codes (STC)

Monday, July 04, 2011      17 comments

I thought you needed help with texting your friends...after all, the kids have all their little BFF, WTF, etc. So here are the codes for seniors: ATD - At the Doctor's BFF - Best Friend's Funeral ... Read more

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