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The Zen of Sarcasm.
(1) Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone.
(2) It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neig... Read more
Senior Texting Codes (STC)
I thought you needed help with texting your friends...after all, the kids have all their little codes...like BFF, WTF, etc. So here are the codes for seniors:
ATD - At the Doctor's
BFF - Best Friend's Funeral
... Read more
Last 10 cents
A father walks into a restaurant with his young son.
He gives the young boy three 10 c coins to play with to keep him occupied.
Suddenly, the boy starts choking and going blue in the face....
The father realises the boy has swallowe... Read more
Are you a whale or a mermaid?
Recently, in a large city in Australia, a poster featuring a young, thin and tan woman appeared in the window of a gym. It said, "This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?"
A middle-aged woman, whose physical characteristics did ... Read more
CONFUCIOUS HAS THE ANSWER!
If I sleep with 3 men, everyone calls me a slut. But when a man sleeps with 8 girls, everyone calls him a real man. How come?
'When one lock can be opened by 3 different keys, it's a bad lock. ... Read more
Johns Hopkins Update
1. Every person has cancer cells in the body. These cancer cells do not show up in the standard tests until they have multiplied to a few billion. When doctors tell cancer patients that there are no more cancer cells in their bodies after ... Read more
TWO HILLBILLIES AND A MIRROR
After living in the remote wilderness of Kentucky all his life, an old hillbilly
decided it was time to visit the big city.
In one of the big city stores he picks up a mirror and looks in it.
Not ever having seen one before, he remark... Read more
Words of Wisdom for Congressman Weiner....
In this day and age of online mischief, please take a lesson from Congressman Weiner, and remember this cautionary advice from your Mom:
If you don't want people to think you're a yutz
Nobody has to see pics of your putz
He who doesn... Read more
Oh, to be 8 again!
A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his wife, who was
looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd like to have for her birthday.
'I'd like to be eight again', she replied, still... Read more
Condom Factory Fire!
The largest condom factory in the States burned down.
President Obama was awakened at 4 am by the telephone.
"Sorry to bother you at this hour, Sir, but there is an emergency! I've just received word that the Durex factory in Washi... Read more
Lemons and Cancer
Eating a Lemon is lot Healthier than eating an Orange ........ LEMON will clean all your INTESTINES which oranges don't ..
LISTEN UP FOLKS:
This is something that we should all take seriously. Even doctors are now saying ... Read more
The Perfect Husband.
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cellular phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
WOMAN: "Hi Honey, it... Read more
A bit of humour to start your day!!
Wife: ‘What are you doing?’
Wife: ‘Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.'
Husband: 'I was looking for the expiration date.'
-... Read more
HOW TO CALL THE POLICE WHEN YOU'RE OLD.
George Phillips, an elderly man, from Meridian, Mississippi, was going up to bed, when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the ... Read more
Proud American - Return On Investment!
If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you would have $49.00 today!
If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you would have $33.00 today.
If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Lehman ... Read more