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    ILOVEROSES   205,676
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The Irish.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011      7 comments

The Irish have solved their own fuel problems. They imported 50 million tonnes of sand from the Arabs and they're going to drill for their own oil. My mate's missus left him last Thursday, she said she was going out... Read more

Great Female Humour.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011      6 comments

While the C-5 was turning over its engines, a female crewman gave the G.I.'s on board the usual information regarding seat belts, emergency exits, etc. Finally, she said, 'Now sit back and enjoy your trip while your captain, Judith Cam... Read more

Cauliflower: The Future of Cancer Treatment.

Monday, July 11, 2011      9 comments

Remember this word: "sulforaphane". It's what helps give vegetables such as cauliflower, broccoli and cabbage their, er, "distinctive" smell when cooked, but it's also the chemical that has been shown to target and kill cancer cells, leav... Read more

MOTHERS!

Sunday, July 10, 2011      6 comments

Real Mothers don't eat quiche; They don't have time to make it. Real Mothers know that their kitchen utensils Are probably in the sandbox. Real Mothers often have sticky floors, Filthy ovens and happy kids. Real Mother... Read more

He's My Brother!

Friday, July 08, 2011      6 comments

This is Priceless . Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of TAMPONS and proceeded to the checkout counter. The man at the counter asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?" "Eight," the boy replied. ... Read more

The Zen of Sarcasm.

Thursday, July 07, 2011      7 comments

(1) Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone. (2) It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neig... Read more

Senior Texting Codes (STC)

Monday, July 04, 2011      17 comments

I thought you needed help with texting your friends...after all, the kids have all their little codes...like BFF, WTF, etc. So here are the codes for seniors: ATD - At the Doctor's BFF - Best Friend's Funeral ... Read more

Last 10 cents

Sunday, July 03, 2011      7 comments

A father walks into a restaurant with his young son. He gives the young boy three 10 c coins to play with to keep him occupied. Suddenly, the boy starts choking and going blue in the face.... The father realises the boy has swallowe... Read more

Are you a whale or a mermaid?

Friday, July 01, 2011      13 comments

Recently, in a large city in Australia, a poster featuring a young, thin and tan woman appeared in the window of a gym. It said, "This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?" A middle-aged woman, whose physical characteristics did ... Read more

CONFUCIOUS HAS THE ANSWER!

Wednesday, June 29, 2011      7 comments

Woman asks: If I sleep with 3 men, everyone calls me a slut. But when a man sleeps with 8 girls, everyone calls him a real man. How come? Confucious says: 'When one lock can be opened by 3 different keys, it's a bad lock. ... Read more

Johns Hopkins Update

Sunday, June 26, 2011      9 comments

1. Every person has cancer cells in the body. These cancer cells do not show up in the standard tests until they have multiplied to a few billion. When doctors tell cancer patients that there are no more cancer cells in their bodies after ... Read more

TWO HILLBILLIES AND A MIRROR

Friday, June 24, 2011      12 comments

After living in the remote wilderness of Kentucky all his life, an old hillbilly decided it was time to visit the big city. In one of the big city stores he picks up a mirror and looks in it. Not ever having seen one before, he remark... Read more

Words of Wisdom for Congressman Weiner....

Thursday, June 23, 2011      12 comments

In this day and age of online mischief, please take a lesson from Congressman Weiner, and remember this cautionary advice from your Mom: If you don't want people to think you're a yutz Nobody has to see pics of your putz He who doesn... Read more

Oh, to be 8 again!

Tuesday, June 21, 2011      11 comments

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his wife, who was looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd like to have for her birthday. 'I'd like to be eight again', she replied, still... Read more

Condom Factory Fire!

Friday, June 17, 2011      10 comments

The largest condom factory in the States burned down. President Obama was awakened at 4 am by the telephone. "Sorry to bother you at this hour, Sir, but there is an emergency! I've just received word that the Durex factory in Washi... Read more


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