Advertisement -- Learn more about ads on this site.

    ILOVEROSES   209,963
200,000-249,999 SparkPoints
ILOVEROSES's Blog Entry Summary View

Golf Lessons

Friday, May 29, 2015      7 comments

A foursome is waiting at the men's tee while another foursome of women is hitting from the ladies' tee. The ladies are taking their time. When the final lady is ready to hit her ball, she hacks it ten feet. She goes over and whi... Read more

Grandma's Boyfriend

Thursday, May 28, 2015      19 comments

A 5-year-old boy went to visit his grandmother one day. Playing with his toys in her bedroom while grandma was dusting, he looked up and said, 'Grandma, how come you don't have a boyfriend now that Grandpa went to heaven?' Grandma ... Read more


Monday, May 25, 2015      12 comments

SIMPLE TRUTH #1 Lovers help each other undress before sex. However after sex, they always dress on their own. Moral of the story: In life, no one helps you once you're screwed. SIMPLE TRUTH #2 When a lady is pregnant,... Read more

Random Thoughts

Saturday, May 23, 2015      12 comments

Life is like a roll of toilet paper, it goes really fast at the end. I don't trip over things, I do random gravity checks! I don't need anger management. I need people to stop making me mad! Old age is c... Read more

A Shaggy Dog Story.

Friday, May 22, 2015      16 comments

As a butcher is shooing a dog from his shop, he sees $10 and a note in his mouth, reading: "10 lamb chops, please." Amazed, he takes the money, puts a bag of chops in the dog's mouth, and quick... Read more

The Pastor's Ass

Wednesday, May 20, 2015      15 comments

The Pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again and it won again. The local paper read: PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT ... Read more

Cardiologist's Funeral

Tuesday, May 19, 2015      18 comments

A very prestigious cardiologist died, and was given a very elaborate funeral by the hospital where he had worked for most of his life. A huge heart, covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service as all the doctors from the ho... Read more

As Good of an Explanation as I've Heard!

Tuesday, May 19, 2015      11 comments

I feel better after reading this . . . Brains of older people are slow because they know so much . People do not decline mentally with age, it just takes them longer to recall facts because they have more information in their brains, ... Read more


Sunday, May 17, 2015      13 comments

Thank goodness there's a name for this disorder. Age-Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. This is how it manifests: I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and... Read more

A week of Chuckles.

Saturday, May 16, 2015      13 comments

MONDAY The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was having sex. Worried the girl might become pregnant and adversely impact the family's status, she consulted the family doctor. The doctor told her that... Read more


Friday, May 15, 2015      12 comments

Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost fell down when he saw him. He'd never been to church in his life. After Mass, the priest caught up with him & said, "Murphy, I am so glad ya decided to come to Mass. What made ya come?... Read more

Retiree Mental Fitness Evaluation

Thursday, March 19, 2015      17 comments

This test is to ascertain your mental state now. If you get one right you are doing ok, if you get none right you better go for counselling. (I'll meet you there.) There are 4 test questions. Don't miss one. Giraffe Tes... Read more

Little Boy Lost.

Saturday, February 28, 2015      19 comments

A lawyer is trying to call his clients. The phone rings and their little boy, in a whisper, says, ‘Hello’. Lawyer: Is your mummy there? Boy (whisper): Yes Lawyer: Can I speak with her? Boy (whisper): She’s busy. Lawyer: I... Read more

One more sleep...

Wednesday, February 25, 2015      18 comments

I've had a busy day today. In the morning I've done 2 loads of washing, hung them out and with the warm and sunny weather everything is dry now and off the line. No more dirty clothes in the laundry basket till we come back from the holiday in... Read more

The Therapist.

Sunday, February 22, 2015      16 comments

An Arizona couple, both well into their 80's, go to a sex therapist's office. The doctor asks, 'What can I do for you?' The man says, 'Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?' The doctor raises both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that su... Read more

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 Last Page