Little Boy Lost.
A lawyer is trying to call his clients. The phone rings and their little boy, in a whisper, says, ‘Hello’.
Lawyer: Is your mummy there?
Boy (whisper): Yes
Lawyer: Can I speak with her?
Boy (whisper): She’s busy.
Lawyer: I... Read more
One more sleep...
I've had a busy day today. In the morning I've done 2 loads of washing, hung them out and with the warm and sunny weather everything is dry now and off the line. No more dirty clothes in the laundry basket till we come back from the holiday in... Read more
An Arizona couple, both well into their 80's, go to a sex therapist's office.
The doctor asks, 'What can I do for you?'
The man says, 'Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?'
The doctor raises both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that su... Read more
THE MAN WHO GAVE UP SEX FOR GOLF
A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by a couple of strokes.
"Boy, I'd give anything to sink this putt," the golfer mumbles to himself.
Just then, a stranger walks up beside him and whispers,
"Would you b... Read more
For the Grandparents- it is just beautiful!
GRANDPARENTS' ANSWERING MACHINE MESSAGE:
Good morning . . . At present we are not at home, but please leave your message after you hear the beep. beeeeeppp ....
If you are one of our children, dial 1 and then select the option from ... Read more
WHY GOD MADE MOMS?
Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:
Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
... Read more
Sister Mary joined a Convent of Silence.
The Priest said; “Sister, this is a silent Convent.
You are welcome here as long as you like, but you may not speak until directed to do so.”
Sister Mary lived in the monastery for 5 yea... Read more
THE TOILET SEAT
My wife had been after me for several weeks to paint the seat on our toilet. Finally, I got around to doing it while she was out.
After finishing, I left to take care of another matter before she returned. She came in and undressed to take ... Read more
30 pints of Guinness in 30 minutes
I found myself in a pub in Cork. A group of American tourists came in.
One of the Americans said, in a loud voice, "I hear you Irish think you are great drinkers.
I bet 5,000 euros that no-one here can drink 30 pints of Guinness in ... Read more
Odd Spot 30.
Drugs suspect Jason Duval has convinced a US judge to take his Nike sneakers instead of cash for his bail. Judge Douglas Stoddart wanted him jailed for failing to pay $450 court costs but liked the sneakers-for-bail idea suggested by Duval. He... Read more
Gentlemen and Ladies!
As I was lying around, pondering the problems of the world,
I realized that at my age I don't really give a rat's as* anymore.
.... If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.
.... A whale swims all day, mai... Read more
Seniors Under Attack!
THIS IS HAPPENING RIGHT HERE IN OUR OWN COUNTRY!
We Must Stop This Immediately !
Have you noticed that stairs are getting steeper . Groceries are heavier . And, everything is farther away.
Yesterday I walked to the corner ... Read more
One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied,
'I cannot accept money from you; I'm doing community service this week.'
The florist was pleased and left the shop. W... Read more
A Nice Lawyer Story.
If you think lawyers don't have hearts, read the best lawyer story of all time...bar none.
The Salvation Army realized that it had never received a donation from the city's most successful lawyer.
So a United Way volunteer paid the... Read more
Murder at Coles Supermarket.
Tired of constantly being broke and stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife with himself as the beneficiary and then arranging to have her killed.
A 'f... Read more
Get An Email Alert Each Time ILOVEROSES Posts