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THE TOILET SEAT

Sunday, January 25, 2015      13 comments

My wife had been after me for several weeks to paint the seat on our toilet. Finally, I got around to doing it while she was out. After finishing, I left to take care of another matter before she returned. She came in and undressed to take ... Read more

30 pints of Guinness in 30 minutes

Friday, January 23, 2015      14 comments

I found myself in a pub in Cork. A group of American tourists came in. One of the Americans said, in a loud voice, "I hear you Irish think you are great drinkers. I bet 5,000 euros that no-one here can drink 30 pints of Guinness in ... Read more

Odd Spot 30.

Thursday, January 22, 2015      12 comments

Drugs suspect Jason Duval has convinced a US judge to take his Nike sneakers instead of cash for his bail. Judge Douglas Stoddart wanted him jailed for failing to pay $450 court costs but liked the sneakers-for-bail idea suggested by Duval. He... Read more

Gentlemen and Ladies!

Tuesday, January 20, 2015      18 comments

As I was lying around, pondering the problems of the world, I realized that at my age I don't really give a rat's as* anymore. .... If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal. .... A whale swims all day, mai... Read more

Seniors Under Attack!

Friday, January 09, 2015      22 comments

THIS IS HAPPENING RIGHT HERE IN OUR OWN COUNTRY! We Must Stop This Immediately ! Have you noticed that stairs are getting steeper . Groceries are heavier . And, everything is farther away. Yesterday I walked to the corner ... Read more

The Haircut...

Tuesday, January 06, 2015      16 comments

One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you; I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. W... Read more

A Nice Lawyer Story.

Monday, January 05, 2015      13 comments

If you think lawyers don't have hearts, read the best lawyer story of all time...bar none. The Salvation Army realized that it had never received a donation from the city's most successful lawyer. So a United Way volunteer paid the... Read more

Murder at Coles Supermarket.

Saturday, January 03, 2015      14 comments

Tired of constantly being broke and stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife with himself as the beneficiary and then arranging to have her killed. A 'f... Read more

The Postman.

Tuesday, December 30, 2014      13 comments

One Monday morning Shane the postman was riding through the neighbourhood on his usual route, delivering the mail. As he approached one of the homes he noticed that both cars were still in the driveway. His wonder was cut short by Way... Read more

Slips of the tongue.

Monday, December 29, 2014      10 comments

12 of the finest (unintentional) double-entendres ever aired on TV and radio 1. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator 'This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother.' 2. New Zealand Rugby Commentator 'Andrew Meh... Read more

Never Choke in a Restaurant in the South!

Friday, December 26, 2014      12 comments

Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation. Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. After a minute or so, it be... Read more

Merry Christmas Girl Friends and a Happy New Year!

Wednesday, December 24, 2014      11 comments

Hi Ladies I received this from a girlfriend and enjoyed it so thought I would send it on. Merry Christmas To My Female Friends If I were ol' Santa, you know what I'd do I'd dump silly gifts that are given to you And deliver some ... Read more

Odd Spot #29.

Saturday, December 20, 2014      13 comments

An online survey in Britain by Netmums found one in five children between 5 and 12 believes Jesus plays soccer for Chelsea and the shepherds used Google Maps to find the infant Jesus. One in four think the Virgin Birth took place in a church an... Read more

A Nun Grading Papers

Wednesday, December 17, 2014      13 comments

CAN YOU IMAGINE THE NUN SITTING AT HER DESK GRADING THESE PAPERS, ALL THE WHILE TRYING TO KEEP A STRAIGHT FACE AND MAINTAIN HER COMPOSURE! PAY SPECIAL ATTENTION TO THE WORDING AND SPELLING. IF YOU KNOW THE BIBLE EVEN A LITTLE, YOU'LL... Read more

As I (we) age.

Monday, December 08, 2014      12 comments

When I was ready to check out and pay for my groceries the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me." Making a mental note so I could complain to my local MP about this security rubbish, I did just as she had instructed. After the ... Read more


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