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    IDLETYME   229,965
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Smart Hubby

Monday, June 29, 2015      18 comments

A woman walks into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter. "Have you killed any?" she asked. "Yep", replies her husband. "Three male and two females". "How can you tell?" she asks. He replies, "Three were on a beer... Read more

Home Security "Southern Style"

Tuesday, June 23, 2015      21 comments

Go to the second hand store and buy used men's work boots size 14-16. Place them on your front porch along with a copy of Guns and Ammo magazine. Put four giant dog bowls next to the boots and magazines. Leave a note on your door that reads: B... Read more

Smile

Friday, June 19, 2015      15 comments

A smile is a sign of joy, a hug is a sign of love, a laugh is a sign of happiness, a friend like me - well - that's a sign of your good taste!... Read more

Near Death Experience

Monday, June 15, 2015      18 comments

A boss asked one of his employees, "Do you believe in life after death?" "Yes sir" replied his employee. "I thought you did" said the boss. "Yesterday after you left to go to your brothers funeral, he stopped by to see you"!... Read more

I've Been Missing Spark People

Wednesday, October 01, 2014      21 comments

My daughter, Jeni, lives in an apartment complex and the unit next to hers burned out. Several units had damage but thank goodness she didn't! My other daughter and I have spent the last two days packing and moving boxes to storage. Jeni, h... Read more

Safe Driving Award?

Thursday, November 21, 2013      28 comments

A guy was driving when a policeman pulled him over. He rolled down his window and said to the officer, "Is there a problem, Officer?" "No problem at all. I just observed your safe driving and am pleased to award you a $5,000 Safe Driver Aw... Read more

Two Nuns and a Mini Dracula

Friday, October 25, 2013      31 comments

Two nuns, Sister Mary Agnes and Sister Mary Vincent, are traveling through Europe in their car, sightseeing in Transylvania. As they are stopped at a traffic light, out of nowhere, a small vampire jumps onto the hood of the car and hisses ... Read more

One Blonde To Another

Thursday, September 12, 2013      38 comments

A blonde woman was having financial troubles so she decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom. She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this note. "I have kidnapped your child. I am sorry to do t... Read more

A Man Dining Alone

Sunday, July 28, 2013      38 comments

A man was dining alone in a fancy restaurant and there was a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table..He had been checking her out since he sat down, but lacked the nerve to talk with her. ****************... Read more

Baby's First Doctor Visit

Saturday, July 27, 2013      35 comments

This made me laugh out loud. It may be a little saucy for some. I hope it will give you a smile! A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam. The doctor a... Read more

The Perfect Husband

Monday, June 24, 2013      43 comments

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker- function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen. MAN: "Hello" WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Ar... Read more

I Assure You...

Tuesday, June 18, 2013      33 comments

Ben invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful Ben's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between Ben and his roommate and this only made her more curious. Ov... Read more

Know Your Ten Commandments

Tuesday, June 04, 2013      31 comments

Henry, who was very elderly, was unhappy because he had lost his favorite hat. Instead of buying a new one, he decided he would go to church and steal one out of the entrance porch when the worshippers were busy praying. When Henry arriv... Read more

Genealogy

Sunday, May 26, 2013      28 comments

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------------------------ A little girl asked her mother, 'How did the human race appear?' The mother answered, 'God made Adam and Eve and they had children and so all mankind... Read more

Goodbye Ugly Suit

Wednesday, May 22, 2013      33 comments

When the store manager returned from lunch, he noticed his clerk's hand was bandaged, but before he could ask about the bandage, the clerk had some very good news for him. "Guess what, sir?" the clerk said. "I finally sold... Read more


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