Long Time, No See
it's been a while since I've been around... mostly due in part to really bad internet. but also, since starting the meds, I notice I don't worry as much about food making me fat anymore. so my doctor thinks the "eating disorder" was just a sympt... Read more
Work & Doctors
seems like that's all there is anymore.
I hate that the doctor didn't measure me... I'm dreadfully curious how tall I actually am. and they rounded my weight down (in shoes and a jack, at that), so I know my BMI is lower than it should be. ... Read more
Stupidity is Happiness
I've spent a lot of time with ~him this week. I know I shouldn't... I know it'll only hurt worse in the end, but being around him makes me so incredibly happy right now that I don't care if I'm sad down the road. we had a date last night... went... Read more
Random Concocotions (& Pictures of the Food!)
I'm always hungry, but I get bored of just grabbing prepared stuff out of the cabinet and eating it. I enjoy trying new things that don't take too long... it doesn't always workout out well, but these ones did....
... Read more
Trying to Let Things Pass
I let myself stay in bed past noon today. I was invited to a wedding several months ago, but when it comes down to it, she's his friend, not mine. it's the only wedding I've ever been invited to in my life, and I had been so looking forward to i... Read more
I've had two full days of training so far. I'm still not quite picking up on it but... I will. breaks I spend alone in my car. with warm food. bleh.
I burnt the bacon this morning... my mom can make her own from now on if she's gonna nag. w... Read more
Got The Job!
I went in today, only for 2 hours (for two reasons: the first day of my period I am physically incapable of functioning until painkillers kick in, and that takes 3-4 hours & because half the mall was closed today... which made it an even slower ... Read more
Days Going By
I've started writing emails to the ex... saving them as drafts, not sending them. but he's the one I want to talk to about everything in my life. and I'm so USED to writing to him every single night. I know it's probably only hurting me, but it ... Read more
Plucking Along, Basically
been dealing with my dad a lot this week, and as a daddy's girl, that's fine with me. been trying to sort out a lot of insurance stuff before scheduling a doctor's appointment. having trouble getting my mom to make the call for me now though... ... Read more
Interview This Evening.
I'm still not doing great. I don't feel much like eating, and my body hurts. ~he lied to me in saying we could look at this relationship again in a couple of months if I got my crap together, so I've been dealing with that... a lot of crying, mo... Read more
"Love Is..." Peanuts Calendar
it's April, flipped it over to the appropriate month.
"love is... TRUST"
and it's the classic example of Lucy holding the football for Charlie Brown to kick. in other words: LOVE IS A LIE.
my heart just aches so much right now.... Read more
I went to my mom the other night and told her I wanted to see a doctor. it was really hard. obviously, I have a lot of physical reasons I want to go... no energy, constant joint pain, headaches when I wake up, and stuff that I don't even want he... Read more
Almost 24 Hours Single
first off, thanks for all the concern. I just don't know how to deal. this is my first breakup ever. and it kills me because I told him from the beginning it'd never work, and while I changed my mind for the better, he waited until I fell in lov... Read more
He Broke Up With Me
18 months down the drain.
I'll never meet anyone again. I met him via facebook. that'll never happen a second time. I'll die alone, never have children, etc.
I was willing to give up self-injury for him. I was willing to give up starvi... Read more
What a New Day Means & New Experiences
last night, we had chicken gravy & rice, but my mom doesn't like that particular dish with brown rice. however, I wanted the healthier choice, but I've never made rice before. and my mom has been making rice with a rice maker for so long, that s... Read more