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    GINGERRA1980   18,617
15,000-19,999 SparkPoints
GINGERRA1980's Blog Entry Summary View

I let myself go

Wednesday, December 03, 2014      2 comments

It's been a year since I last blogged a single moment in my life. In one year I lost things that had nothing to do with my weight. I lost friendships due to lack of understanding on their part. Lost self respect. Lost motivation. Lost self love.... Read more

I need to blame myself....

Monday, December 02, 2013      16 comments

i wont be writing this perfectly because i suppose i am in no mood to be perfect.... i have had some hard lessons in my life and have blamed so many for that pain... but i am seeing now that i can not control people and what they feel inside or ... Read more

Losing My Way

Friday, November 01, 2013      12 comments

I woke up with many things on my mind many hours of hurt. And this song rang through my heart loud and clear... Justin Timberlake: Losing my way Chorus: Can anybody out there hear me? 'Cause I can't seem to hear myself Can anyb... Read more

Insecurities equals Jealousy

Saturday, October 26, 2013      5 comments

I want to talk about jealousy and insecurities. For one to have jealousy is a very ugly monster to carry around daily and I mean all day daily! Then mix that with insecurity forget it it’s a tornado affect inside your soul. Where in the world do... Read more

I am going to let go

Thursday, October 24, 2013      6 comments

I have no clue what I feel right now. I know I am tired of feeling how I do. I am tired of clinging on to hope for my relationship. I shrug my shoulders. ‘Cause there is nothing I can do and I don’t want to any more. I am tired of caring about a... Read more

A Light Bulb Went Off... Several (part 1)

Wednesday, October 23, 2013      4 comments

I had a light bulb moment a few actually. Now I don't like to talk about my spiritual side because many have taught me don't speak about religion and politics. With that being said I will break a rule today lol! I am not a religious person but I... Read more

Quick Thoughts

Wednesday, October 23, 2013      1 comments

Uhmmm yea!!! Just a random thought...I am up at 3:30am only because I was forced to. There is nothing worse than doing something you really don't want to and it isn't even for you or about you at all! then on top of that your back hurts like hel... Read more

Insert Bad Word HERE

Tuesday, October 22, 2013      7 comments

So as of yesterday I screwed up my back. It feels like straight blah! I feel lazy as heck because I haven’t done a single amount of fitness, nothing! I know I have to recover but still think I am! I have shifted in my bed in a million an... Read more

Self love is hard

Saturday, October 19, 2013      3 comments

I am trying to figure myself out. I had no clue I was the biggest jig saw puzzle of my life. I also never understood why I self-bash myself all the time. As a kid I was always picked on and then I learned to make fun of myself to cope. I see no... Read more

I totally ate my feelings right now...

Saturday, October 19, 2013      4 comments

I really did just have two different bags of chips and mixed them and just dogged them out! Each time I ate one I was like noooooooo! but I did it any way I should've slept it off..or drank more water....but it had been two days of this dumb cra... Read more


Friday, October 18, 2013      5 comments

For the first time last night I actually held my deep desire to question my boyfriend’s actions. I feel he is doing something wrong. That feeling is either true or I am just that insecure in myself. Yet either way I for the first time truly f... Read more

So angry right now...

Thursday, October 17, 2013      13 comments

I am so angry right now… I can’t explain how it feels. To constantly be mocked by a person that I love, to never be able to ask a single question without an argument. To always feel like I am lonely in my relationship with my boyfriend. I have ... Read more


Thursday, October 10, 2013      7 comments

The phrase “when a woman is fed up there is nothing you can do about it” is about right. I want to talk about relationships and you being on this journey or life style change. What I am about to tell you is a bit rough for some to read and I am ... Read more


Tuesday, October 08, 2013      3 comments

The sounds reverb off the walls… bouncing like spears of ice…. Ricocheting through my heart… melting what is left of the warmth…. Flashing lights as they burst into painful stars… supersonic beats per sound…. Shouts of a screeching b... Read more

Almost a year later since my last blog....

Thursday, October 03, 2013      10 comments

The need to love myself is greater than I can explain. I am a 33 year old woman that does not see herself as being an adult because I do not have adult things. I do not live with my husband in my own house. I have a boyfriend instead. I do not h... Read more

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