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    GERIKRAGH   217,696
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New Year's Resolutions for Nerds

Thursday, December 27, 2012      11 comments

16. I resolve... I resolve to... I resolve to, uh... I resolve to, uh, get my, er... I resolve to, uh, get my, er, off-line work done, too! 15. I will stop checking my e-mail at 3:00 in the morning... 4:30 is much more practical. 14. ... Read more

Rudolph the Red

Tuesday, December 25, 2012      13 comments

There was once a great czar in Russia named Rudolph the Red. He stood looking out the windows of is palace one day while his wife, the Czarina Katerina, sat nearby knitting. He turned to her and said, "Look my dear, it has begun t... Read more

Santa Claus

Monday, December 24, 2012      20 comments

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.... Read more

The Deaf Wife Problem

Sunday, December 23, 2012      15 comments

Bert feared his wife Peg wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem. The Doctor told him there is a sim... Read more

Old West

Friday, December 21, 2012      15 comments

Thanks to margemf: One day, a cowboy rode into a Wild, Wild West town. The people in the town love to play jokes on visitors. After tying his horse to the pole outside a bar, the cowboy went in. "A cup of milk please." he said to the barten... Read more

California Company Memo

Thursday, December 20, 2012      19 comments

California Company Memo FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: All Employees DATE: November 1, 2012 RE: Gala Christmas Party I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take plac... Read more

Biology Test

Wednesday, December 19, 2012      11 comments

Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam. The last question was, 'Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk.’ The question was worth 70 points or none at all. One student, in particular, was hard put to think... Read more


Tuesday, December 18, 2012      12 comments

George Bush, Queen Elizabeth, and Vladimir Putin all die and go to hell. While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for. The devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth. Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 ... Read more

Good Judgment

Monday, December 17, 2012      15 comments

A very prestigious, wealthy man and his wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big open - mouthed kiss, then says she'll see him later and wal... Read more

New Virus

Sunday, December 16, 2012      20 comments

I thought you would want to know about this e-mail virus. Even the most advanced programs from Norton or McAfee cannot take care of this one. It appears to affect those who were born prior to 1965... Symptoms: 1. Causes ... Read more

Political Justice

Saturday, December 15, 2012      18 comments

A union shop foreman walks into a bar next door to the factory and is about to order a drink to celebrate Obama’s victory when he sees a guy close by wearing a Romney for President button and two beers in front of him. He doesn't have to be an ... Read more

Sven and Ole

Friday, December 14, 2012      15 comments

Two Minnesota engineers were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up. A woman walks by asks what they were doing. "Ve're supposed to find da height of dis flagpole, “said Sven, "but ve don't haff a ladder." T... Read more

The Afghan Quarterback

Thursday, December 13, 2012      14 comments

The coach had put together the perfect team for the Chicago Bears. The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn't find a ringer who could ens... Read more

Coyote -- California VS. Alabama

Wednesday, December 12, 2012      10 comments

CALIFORNIA: The Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks the Governor's dog, then bites the Governor. 1. The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie "... Read more

Men vrs. Women at the ATM

Tuesday, December 11, 2012      16 comments

A new sign in the Bank reads: 'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use t... Read more

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