Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.
In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approache... Read more
St. Peter is sitting at the Pearly Gateswhen three black guys in baggy pants arrive,having been killed in a drive-by on thesouth side of Chicago.
St. Peter looks out through the Gates and said, "Wait here. I will be right back."
... Read more
Subject: Upcoming State of the Union Address
Is this going to be a great year? When the numbers match up like this it HAS to be
In the coming New Year, 2013, both Groundhog Day and the State of the Union
address will occur on the same da... Read more
An old woman was asked, "At your ripe age, what would you prefer to get,
Parkinson or Alzheimer's?"
The wise lady answered, "Definitely Parkinson ~
much, muchbetter to spill half my
wine than to forget where I keep the bottle."
... Read more
Good news for those of you who do not have a
Glock or Magnum nearby.
I know some of you own GUNS but this is something to think about...
If you don't have a gun, here's a more humane way to wreck someone's evil plans for you. ... Read more
Old Woman Prospector
AN OLD WOMAN PROSPECTOR SHUFFLED INTO TOWN LEADING A TIRED OLD MULE. THE OLD WOMAN HEADED STRAIGHT FOR THE ONLY SALOON TO CLEAR HER PARCHED THROAT.
SHE WALKED UP AND TIED HER OLD MULE TO THE HITCH RAIL. AS SHE STOOD THERE, BRUSHING... Read more
New Year's Resolutions for Nerds
16. I resolve... I resolve to... I resolve to, uh... I resolve to, uh, get my, er... I resolve to, uh, get my, er, off-line work done, too!
15. I will stop checking my e-mail at 3:00 in the morning... 4:30 is much more practical.
14. ... Read more
Rudolph the Red
There was once a great czar in Russia named Rudolph the Red.
He stood looking out the windows of is palace one day while his
wife, the Czarina Katerina, sat nearby knitting. He turned to her
and said, "Look my dear, it has begun t... Read more
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Claustrophobic.... Read more
The Deaf Wife Problem
Bert feared his wife Peg wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid.
Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem.
The Doctor told him there is a sim... Read more
Thanks to margemf:
One day, a cowboy rode into a Wild, Wild West town. The people in the town love to play jokes on visitors. After tying his horse to the pole outside a bar, the cowboy went in. "A cup of milk please." he said to the barten... Read more
California Company Memo
California Company Memo
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: November 1, 2012
RE: Gala Christmas Party
I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take plac... Read more
Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam. The last question was, 'Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk.’ The question was worth 70 points or none at all.
One student, in particular, was hard put to think... Read more
George Bush, Queen Elizabeth, and Vladimir Putin all die and go to hell. While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for. The devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth.
Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 ... Read more
A very prestigious, wealthy man and his wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big open - mouthed kiss, then says she'll see him later and wal... Read more
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