Thanks to margemf:
"An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the responsibility to marry the perfect woman so they could produce beautiful children beyond compare.
With that as his mission he began to search for the perfect... Read more
Snow Plow Day
On a bitterly cold winters morning a husband and wife in Duluth were listening to the radio during breakfast...
They heard the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered... Read more
4 Times Married
The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new h... Read more
The church organist,
Was in her eighties
And had never been married. She was admired for her
sweetness and kindness to all.
One afternoon the pastor
came to call on her and she showed him into her quain... Read more
In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where a family member lay gravely ill.
Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber.*I*m afraid I*m the bearer of bad news,* he said as he surveyed the worried faces. ... Read more
Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.
In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approache... Read more
St. Peter is sitting at the Pearly Gateswhen three black guys in baggy pants arrive,having been killed in a drive-by on thesouth side of Chicago.
St. Peter looks out through the Gates and said, "Wait here. I will be right back."
... Read more
Subject: Upcoming State of the Union Address
Is this going to be a great year? When the numbers match up like this it HAS to be
In the coming New Year, 2013, both Groundhog Day and the State of the Union
address will occur on the same da... Read more
An old woman was asked, "At your ripe age, what would you prefer to get,
Parkinson or Alzheimer's?"
The wise lady answered, "Definitely Parkinson ~
much, muchbetter to spill half my
wine than to forget where I keep the bottle."
... Read more
Good news for those of you who do not have a
Glock or Magnum nearby.
I know some of you own GUNS but this is something to think about...
If you don't have a gun, here's a more humane way to wreck someone's evil plans for you. ... Read more
Old Woman Prospector
AN OLD WOMAN PROSPECTOR SHUFFLED INTO TOWN LEADING A TIRED OLD MULE. THE OLD WOMAN HEADED STRAIGHT FOR THE ONLY SALOON TO CLEAR HER PARCHED THROAT.
SHE WALKED UP AND TIED HER OLD MULE TO THE HITCH RAIL. AS SHE STOOD THERE, BRUSHING... Read more
New Year's Resolutions for Nerds
16. I resolve... I resolve to... I resolve to, uh... I resolve to, uh, get my, er... I resolve to, uh, get my, er, off-line work done, too!
15. I will stop checking my e-mail at 3:00 in the morning... 4:30 is much more practical.
14. ... Read more
Rudolph the Red
There was once a great czar in Russia named Rudolph the Red.
He stood looking out the windows of is palace one day while his
wife, the Czarina Katerina, sat nearby knitting. He turned to her
and said, "Look my dear, it has begun t... Read more
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Claustrophobic.... Read more
The Deaf Wife Problem
Bert feared his wife Peg wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid.
Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem.
The Doctor told him there is a sim... Read more
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