Thank you margemf!
A man was driving along the highway, and saw a rabbit hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of the car and was hit. The driver, bein... Read more
Why, Why, Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the
batteries are getting weak?
Why do banks charge a fee due to insufficient funds when they already know
Why is it that when someone tells you tha... Read more
Thank you to margemf for this joke.
A scratch golfer hits his ball three hundred yards straight down the fairway, and it hits a sprinkler and careens off into the woods. He finds the ball, but trees surround it. He s pissed, says what the h... Read more
I had been doing Tech Support for Hewlett-Packard's DeskJet division for about a month when I had a customer call with a problem I just couldn't solve. She could not print yellow. All the other colors would print fine, which truly baffled me bec... Read more
One older woman to another:
I changed the password on my computer to "incorrect." That way, when I forget my password, the computer will tell me, "Your password is incorrect!"... Read more
Police vs. Lawyer
If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman. He was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the policeman's credibility...
Q: "... Read more
6 Legged Turkey
An industrious turkey farmer was always experimenting with breeding to perfect a better turkey.
His family was fond of the leg portion for dinner and there
were never enough legs for everyone. After many frustrating attempts, the farmer... Read more
Little Timothy is Thankful for....
Asked to write a composition entitled, "What I'm thankful for on Thanksgiving,"
little Timothy wrote, "I am thankful that I'm not a turkey."... Read more
The English Language
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the le... Read more
Thanks to margemf:
A man is complaining to a friend: “I had it all, money, a beautiful house, a nice car, a great motorcycle, the love of a beautiful woman. Then it was all gone!”
“What happened?” asks the friend.
“My wi... Read more
The pro football team had just finished their daily practice session when a large turkey came strutting onto the field. While the players gazed in amazement, the turkey walked up to the head coach and demanded a tryout. Everyone stared in silenc... Read more
A man in Florida, in his 80s, calls his son in New York one November day.
The father says to the son, “I hate to tell you, but we’ve got some troubles here in the house. Your mother and I can’t stand each other anymore, and we’re getting a... Read more
No Police Available
This is the true story of George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi, who was going to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the shed. George opened the door to go turn off the light but saw there were people in the shed in the... Read more
Boat on the Highway
One day a blonde was driving down the highway when she saw another blonde on the side of the road trying to row in a boat. The blonde pulled over and said "You know it's people like you that give us blondes a bad name, if I knew how to swim I... Read more
Abe and Esther
I don't know how this joke could offend anyone, so here goes:
Abe and Esther are flying to Australia for a two-week vacation to celebrate their 50th anniversary.
Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces:
... Read more
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