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    GERIKRAGH   211,322
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Retired Message From Maxine

Saturday, October 20, 2012      13 comments

As I was lying in bed pondering the problems of the world, I rapidly realized that I don't really give a rat's hiney. It's the tortoise life for me! 1. If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal. 2. A whale swims a... Read more

Confusious Say:

Thursday, October 18, 2012      15 comments

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Man who run in front of car get tired. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Man who run behind car get exhausted. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Man with one chopstick go hungry. ... Read more

Simple Truths

Wednesday, October 17, 2012      15 comments

SIMPLE TRUTH 1 Partners help each other undress before sex. However after sex, they always dress on their own. Moral of the story: "In life, no one helps you once you're screwed." SIMPLE TRUTH 2 When a lad... Read more

E-mail Problems

Tuesday, October 16, 2012      12 comments

E-Mail Tracker Programs -- very interesting and a must read! The man that sent this information is a computer tech. He spends a lot of time clearing the junk off computers for people and listens to complaints about speed. All forwards... Read more

Best Way to Live Life

Monday, October 15, 2012      13 comments

One day I had lunch with some friends. Jim, a short, balding golfer who was about 80 years old, came along with them---all in all, a pleasant bunch. When the menus were presented, we ordered salads, sandwiches, and soups, except for ... Read more

The Frog and The Golfer

Saturday, October 13, 2012      16 comments

A man takes the day off work and Decides to go out golfing. He is on the second hole when he Notices a... Read more

Walmart Retiree

Thursday, October 11, 2012      16 comments

My one day of employment after retiring After landing my new job as a Walmart greeter, a good find for many retirees, I lasted less than a day ...... About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, decidedly una... Read more

Police Ticket

Wednesday, October 10, 2012      16 comments

Thank you to margemf for this joke. “What am I supposed to do with this?” grumbled the motorist as the police clerk handed him a receipt for his traffic violation. “Keep it,” the clerk advises. “When you get four of them, you get a bic... Read more

Tinkle

Tuesday, October 09, 2012      17 comments

A woman pregnant with triplets was walking down the street when a masked Robber ran out of a bank and shot her three times in the stomach. Luckily The babies were OK. The surgeon decided to leave the bullets in because it was too risky to ope... Read more

Older Than Dirt

Monday, October 08, 2012      16 comments

Oh my gosh--I just read this and I'm older than dirt! Someone asked the other day, “What was your favorite fast food when you were growing up?” “We didn't have fast food when I was growing up,” I informed him. All the food was slow.”... Read more

Revised Living Will

Sunday, October 07, 2012      19 comments

I, ____________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead partisan politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology... Read more

Texas Police Do Care

Saturday, October 06, 2012      12 comments

I get irritated when people come down on our police officers, saying that the police don’t care about or respect others. Well, here is a story that clearly shows not all cops are in that category. This story involves the police de... Read more

On The Potty

Friday, October 05, 2012      13 comments

A LITTLE THREE YEAR OLD BOY IS SITTING ON THE TOILET. HIS MOTHER THINKS HE HAS BEEN IN THERE TOO LONG, SO SHE GOES IN TO SEE WHAT'S UP. THE LITTLE BOY IS SITTING ON THE TOILET READING A BOOK. BUT ABOUT EVERY 15 SECONDS OR SO, HE PUTS THE BOOK... Read more

Scottish Brothel

Thursday, October 04, 2012      12 comments

The madam opened the brothel door in Milngavie and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or early fifties. “May I help you sir?” She asked. The man replied, “I want to see Suzy.” ... Read more

Age Old Question

Wednesday, October 03, 2012      14 comments

Mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a couple nice cold beers. The day was really quite beautiful, and the brew facilitated some deep thinking on various topics. Finally I thought about an age old question: Is giving... Read more


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