Best Way to Live Life
One day I had lunch with some friends. Jim, a short, balding golfer who was about 80 years old, came along with them---all in all, a pleasant bunch.
When the menus were presented, we ordered salads, sandwiches, and soups, except for ... Read more
The Frog and The Golfer
A man takes the day off work and
Decides to go out golfing.
He is on the second hole when he
Notices a... Read more
My one day of employment after retiring
After landing my new job as a Walmart greeter, a good find for many retirees, I lasted less than a day ......
About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, decidedly una... Read more
Thank you to margemf for this joke.
“What am I supposed to do with this?” grumbled the motorist as the police clerk handed him a receipt for his traffic violation.
“Keep it,” the clerk advises. “When you get four of them, you get a bic... Read more
A woman pregnant with triplets was walking down the street when a masked Robber ran out of a bank and shot her three times in the stomach. Luckily The babies were OK. The surgeon decided to leave the bullets in because it was too risky to ope... Read more
Older Than Dirt
Oh my gosh--I just read this and I'm older than dirt!
Someone asked the other day, “What was your favorite fast food when you were growing up?”
“We didn't have fast food when I was growing up,” I informed him.
All the food was slow.”... Read more
Revised Living Will
I, ____________, being of sound mind and body, do
not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead partisan politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology... Read more
Texas Police Do Care
I get irritated when people come down on our police officers, saying that the police don’t care about or respect others. Well, here is a story that clearly shows not all cops are in that category.
This story involves the police de... Read more
On The Potty
A LITTLE THREE YEAR OLD BOY IS SITTING ON THE TOILET. HIS MOTHER THINKS HE HAS BEEN IN THERE TOO LONG, SO SHE GOES IN TO SEE WHAT'S UP. THE LITTLE BOY IS SITTING ON THE TOILET READING A BOOK. BUT ABOUT EVERY 15 SECONDS OR SO, HE PUTS THE BOOK... Read more
The madam opened the brothel door in Milngavie and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or early fifties.
“May I help you sir?” She asked.
The man replied, “I want to see Suzy.”
... Read more
Age Old Question
Mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a couple nice cold beers. The day was really quite beautiful, and the brew facilitated some deep thinking on various topics.
Finally I thought about an age old question: Is giving... Read more
Jewish Cab Driver
A clearly inebriated woman, stark naked, jumped into a taxi in New York City ..
The cab driver, an old Jewish gentleman, opened his eyes wide and stared at the woman.
He made no attempt to start the cab. The woman glared back at him and s... Read more
8 Points to Ponder
EIGHT THOUGHTS TO PONDER
Number 8: Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 7: Good health, is merely the slowest possible rateat which one can die.
Number 6: Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see a gleam in his eyes, ma... Read more
I was in a pub last Saturday night, drank a few, and noticed two
very large women by the bar. They both had pretty strong accents,
so I asked, "Hey, are you two ladies from Ireland?"
One of them chirped saying, "It's WALES, you fr... Read more
Computer crashed. It might be a few days before I can post jokes again.... Read more