On The Potty
A LITTLE THREE YEAR OLD BOY IS SITTING ON THE TOILET. HIS MOTHER THINKS HE HAS BEEN IN THERE TOO LONG, SO SHE GOES IN TO SEE WHAT'S UP. THE LITTLE BOY IS SITTING ON THE TOILET READING A BOOK. BUT ABOUT EVERY 15 SECONDS OR SO, HE PUTS THE BOOK... Read more
The madam opened the brothel door in Milngavie and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or early fifties.
“May I help you sir?” She asked.
The man replied, “I want to see Suzy.”
... Read more
Age Old Question
Mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a couple nice cold beers. The day was really quite beautiful, and the brew facilitated some deep thinking on various topics.
Finally I thought about an age old question: Is giving... Read more
Jewish Cab Driver
A clearly inebriated woman, stark naked, jumped into a taxi in New York City ..
The cab driver, an old Jewish gentleman, opened his eyes wide and stared at the woman.
He made no attempt to start the cab. The woman glared back at him and s... Read more
8 Points to Ponder
EIGHT THOUGHTS TO PONDER
Number 8: Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 7: Good health, is merely the slowest possible rateat which one can die.
Number 6: Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see a gleam in his eyes, ma... Read more
I was in a pub last Saturday night, drank a few, and noticed two
very large women by the bar. They both had pretty strong accents,
so I asked, "Hey, are you two ladies from Ireland?"
One of them chirped saying, "It's WALES, you fr... Read more
Computer crashed. It might be a few days before I can post jokes again.... Read more
Irish Ghost Story
Irish Ghost Story
This story happened a while ago in Dublin, and even though it sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock tale, it's true.
John Bradford, a Dublin University student, was hitchhiking on a dark night in the midst of a big ... Read more
Thank you margemf
A young girl came home from a date looking sad. She told her mother, “Charles proposed to me a few minutes ago.”
“Then why are you so sad?” her mother asked.
“Because he also mentioned he was an atheis... Read more
Thank you again margemf!
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asked a young Engineer fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"
The Engineer replies, "In the region of $125,000 ... Read more
Never Argue With A Woman Who Reads
One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.
Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out.
She motors out a ... Read more
Where Do Dead Penguins Go?
you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica? Where do they go?
Wonder no more ! ! !
It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life. The penguin... Read more
Abbott and Costello Explain Unemployment
COSTELLO: I want to talk about the unemployment rate in America.
ABBOTT: Good Subject. Terrible Times. It's 9%.
COSTELLO: That many people are out of work?
ABBOTT: No, that's 16%.
COSTELLO: You just said 9%.... Read more
Why Parents Drink
A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up.
Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to "Dad." With the worst premonition he ope... Read more
Thank you margemf.
Sitting on the side of the road waiting to catch speeding drivers, a Massachusetts state trooper sees a car puttering along at 24 mph. He thinks to himself, "This driver is as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on hi... Read more
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